Good evening, my glorious, gorgeous Jezzies from far and wide.

I need some advice. I may be seriously jumping the gun on this but, my gut is speaking louder than my logic core so yes, some wisdom is needed. Actually, I need advice on two things but, first things first.

Some Background: Due to massive company layoffs, I’ve been unemployed for almost two months. I have been coasting on severance, cash out from a ton of unused sick leave, a payout from unused vacation, and the fact that my husband has solid work, good pay and benefits. Thank the Gods. Still, the job hunt has been beyond frustrating and I can’t tell you how many jobs I’ve applied for. When your passions lie in the arts, theatre, and arts admin, the job hunt ( at least in this city) is three times as difficult and far, far more competitive. Lots of Big fish eating each other in a Small Pond and all that. I have a lot of practical job experience but still, my already precarious esteem has taken a huge blow.

The Opportunity: A few months back I was given the chance to lead a series of theatre workshops with at-risk youth culminating in a theatrical performance in a well-known venue. I would be volunteering however and, we would not begin till late winter/ early spring of next year. The young women who founded and runs this organization already lead a series of creative writing and poetry workshops downtown that have been a boon to the youth participating. We’ve had meetings, conference calls, and share a constantly updating document on how we are going to plan our sessions, share mock scripts and concerns, casting ideas, and, even find funding. Yes, it is volunteering but, the chance to actually use my BA/MA for such a cause is exactly what I need. It is a place I thrive, feel more myself.

The Issue/ Where I Ask For Advice: I was telling a young woman (YW) I know about the project the Non-Profit founder (NPF)and I were starting and, the timeline we were looking at in regards to first brainstorms to the final show. The whole time she was asking, with increasing passion, ‘How?How?How?’ and what my background in this field even was. I explained my schooling and gave a short summary of theatre-based skills.

In almost half misery, she told me she thought I was a writing major and that it was her dream to do something like that and, that the NPF had been sceptical when this woman had brought up running a theatre program. Now, I am not wholly surprised. I do like YW but for those who don’t know her, she can be a bit.....off-putting. YW does not always read social cues very well, is easily overwhelmed at times, can be a bit scattered, and, even has an odd cadence when speaking that again, is off-putting. But, as I know her, she is also intelligent, witty, a solid writer, caring, funny, and a source of support for friends in need. A lot in a very tiny pretty package.

I asked her if she wanted to be my workshop assistant and as she has some theatre text we need, thought additional academic and rehearsal support would be a good way for her to get involved. I told her I would speak to NPF first, however. Clear it with her. YW went ahead and spoke to NPF and while it was fine in the end, I didn’t feel great about that. I’m not wrong for feeling that, am I? In short, I could see her taking over a project that means a lot to NPF and myself. She already mentioned bringing a production assistant in but, NPF hasn’t even gotten back to me about having her as an assistant.

Am I being paranoid? The thing is, YW wouldn’t even see that what she was doing was not the best way to start a program or, that her actions would bother me. Not out of malice but, out of, well, her issues with social cues. What should I do? How can I express this to NPF without sounding horrid? What am I doing wrong here? I hate confrontation but, have also been known to push back. 

Thanks for letting me rant and, would be thankful for any advice. I want to lead this program, be reliable for NPF, and keep YW as a friend.