My mother in law and her fact, any driver who brags that they have never had a speeding ticket in their entire life.

There’s a reason you haven’t had a speeding ticket in your life, it’s because you’re terrified of speed, you’re terrified of your car, you’re terrified of other drivers on the road, and you’re terrified of the very concept of driving.

Both her and her sister drive exactly the same. Hands at 10 and 2, somehow, they cannot maintain a straight line or a constant speed going 28 in a 35. Every action and non-action requires an excessive amount of thought and input, so much that you will be car-sick on any trip. “Oh, someone 600 yards up tapped their brakes? I better tap my brakes, too.” “Changing lanes? Better slow down.” “I’m on the main road and someone is merging in? Better start a pileup behind me so I can let them in.” Spacial awareness is not a thing, curb rash on every rim, and constantly complaining about how every other driver is such a maniac and an asshole.

I could drift circles around her in every car and truck I own, I can back up my truck and trailer into 8' wide space, I’ve driven everything from a Lamborghini Countach to a Class 6 box truck with trailer. I drive 25-35,000miles/year, for the last 18 years, and have only been at-fault in a single 3am crash that involved me hydroplaning in my M3.

BUT GOD FORBID I bring up our driving histories, because her 0-speeding ticket record makes her a better driver than me with my (estimating) 30-40 lifetime speeding tickets.