My dear friend Johnny, whose head spins like a radar turret, and every 20 seconds go off like

Did you see that woman?
Wow, great tits on that one!
Candy girl over there!
Do you see her over there? Her! She’s ugly...

By which point I usually stop screeching in terror - because we’re doing 80 mph on small city streets - and roar “WTF MAN, WHY DO YOU EVEN?

Outside of zones where there may be women, he quite often dig around in the passenger footwell for something, or the glove compartment, or fiddles with the stereo, all the while passengers scream “THE ROAD! LOOK AT THE ROAD! AIIII”. Swerving past obstacles he’s barely looking at, Johnny goes “What? I’m in control. Ha ha, what are you so afraid of?

To his defense, he has only totaled one car in 30+ years.