My roommate/best friend. Legit, every one of our friends tells him hes terrifying to drive with. Because he goes everywhere in a hurry, because he’s usually late, because he’s a gay man who can’t get his shit together enough to be on time. Now driving fast isn’t necessarily difficult nor dangerous if your entire focus is on the road. However he needs to continuously text and facebook message everyone he knows while we are trying to navigate southern California traffic. So you can imagine there have been “clenching” incidents. Yet he insists he is a good driver, despite not having a straight body panel on his 7 year old civic.

Oh and he has no sense of direction and can’t navigate worth a damn. So that makes it even more perilous when he decides that he wants to make a right turn from the center lane of a 3-lane boulevard and just blindly turns without checking to see if someone is there. He never actually uses his mirrors now that I think about it. I remember we had a friend staying at our place who was parked behind our garage. As we were getting ready to back out I even joked “now don’t hit Daniel’s rental”. Sure enough he slam fucks it into reverse and starts gunning it out of the garage without looking. I panicked and yanked the E-Brake. He gave me this look like I was the asshole and I just screamed at him “did you not notice the big blue fucking Nissan behind us????”

So at this point any time we have to go to LA, Palm Springs, the central valley, I am the one who drives the entire way. Because dealing with LA traffic is less stressful than riding shotgun with him.