Christ, Lauren! Seriously, did you have to use the term “truffle” in the first part of the piece. The second I, and about 40,000,000 of my fellow im-matoor brethren come across that word, it’s game over. Here, let me see ifI can put it into perspective. Ya know how, well, pretty much most chicks (I know of a single exclusion) get all uneasy and squeamish at the first mention of anything being being characterized as “moist”? Well, same deal, only different. Instead of chicks it’s mostly guys who get effected, and instead of squeamish and uncomfortable, they become visibly....almost energized, and start fighting an uncontrollable urge to giggle add if being tickled by am unseen force. Well Lauren, that unseen force it’s the term “truffle”. Now I could walk you through the “why’s” and “how’s” of this phenomenon, but that would almost guarantee the censorship of these well thought out artistic prose I’m sharing with you this post. I agree Lauren, I really do, “Ye (me) who controls the supply of that valued commodity (my comments written), also controls their value (an imagined demand imagined people place imaginarily on my posts, not much unlike bitcoin)“, but these words are, alas my creative expression. Expression that I wish to deny to no one. But I digress.....

If you don’t understand the genesis of why using that term in any articles our memoirs moving forward, you must trust me. If you still require more and find the vacuum of understanding associated with this single concept to much to beat, I want you to know that I understand and will not turn my bank on you. The answers are curated at one source, not difficult to reach and universally considered authoritative in a very specific focussed discipline. I am of course referring to the venerable and highly trusted resource The Urban Dictionary.

As I stated earlier, to simply blurt out the path to enlightenment as one would expect from a simpleton such as Devon Nunes would almost certainly prevent my prose from being proliferated to and assimilated by you, as well as the likely millions of other minds thirsting for the answers. Instead I shall provide you a cryptic riddle which will achieve my goals, two fold. First, it will prevent those dolts whip lack the intellectual sophistication from knowledge that they very likely would be able to accept, if they could even grasp the concepts. this is critical to avoid the draconian censorship we’ve all been witness to at one point out another. Second, it will demonstrate to those captivated by these musings that true wit and an exceedingly clever mind can in fact coexist with a mind which can only be described as possessing a seemingly limitless magnitude and breadth of raw creativity. Stunning, I know. So finally, here is the riddle that will lead you down the path of enlightenment. I would wish you Godspeed, but Lauren, after you become aware of these truths, God will be the one trying to catch up to you.

One final note, which is be remiss for excluding. It goes without saying, Lauren, but always remember to choose you’re paths deliberately, for after all, you can only control what it is you learn, you have no control once you learn it:

Clever Riddle: Earlier today I told you that “truffle” elicits a chuckle, I hope when I told you that I did not stutter. Urban dictionary will help tighten your vocab belt and buckle, it’s definitions are as smooth as delicious gross butter.

Damn, ok, even I’mimpressed. If you still don’t get it, all a dude.