THIS is the moment I’ve been waiting for. My first comment on Jalopnik after lurking for years.

I’m approximately 15 years old and working after school at a car wash. There is some sort of logistics error with my parents and I need to get to work but no one is there to take me. I have neither a permit nor a license, nor time to ride a bicycle. I commandeer my grandfather’s station wagon because he is elderly and infirm and doesn’t drive because he is in a nursing home. A victimless crime! I drive approximately 4 miles to work. It was exhilarating. My parents were amused but I believe I may have gotten some form of punishment. It was so cool.

Stock Photo of the car.