A lot of sad stories in today’s SNS, and I’m afraid I have to add to them. But it is really an etiquette question.

A friend of mine, who I’ve known for 10 years, through the volunteer work we did at a non-profit, passed away last weekend. The various services were Saturday and Monday.

Last Saturday my twin brother’s wife passed away, and the funeral was on Monday. So I was completely taken up with that and could not attend any of the events related to my friend’s death.

I am now in the process of writing a heartfelt condolence letter to my friend’s wife, who I only met once, but she heard alot about me from her husband through the work we did. My question is.....do I apologize in the letter for not attending the wake/funeral since I was attending my sister-in-law’s funeral? I don’t want to sound like I’m looking for sympathy in my letter, but I also don’t want her to think I just couldn’t be bothered to attend. But perhaps in her grief she never even realized I wasn’t there?