When we got our tax return earlier this year, we decided to take an impromptu trip to Valley Forge with our kids. Keep in mind, they were 5, 3 and 4 months at the time. We basically came up with the idea at 4p.m. at night and were on the road by 6 p.m.

The two older kids love “Hamilton” and we figured we could take them to a place he actually lived for a bit. They seemed excited. Then, we’d hit the aquarium in Camden. It was going to be a fun weekend.

As we’re leaving Northeastern Pennsylvania, my wife says, “Let’s not take the turnpike.” We’d save some money and enjoy driving through Pennsyltucky. In my mind, I worried about carsickness, but passed it off. I didn’t start getting car sick until I was older than our kids and our kids had never been car sick.

Anyway, before we left, we stopped at a hoagie shop. Kids got turkey sandwiches and fruit punch. So we drive for about two hours and make our way toward Valley Forge through the backest of back woods parts of PA. So we get within sight of our brand name hotel. We’re so close, I could have thrown a baseball and it would have rolled into the parking lot.

Then we here a gurgle in the back seat. A deep gurgle. Somehow baritone. I look in the rearview mirror and my 3-year-old, still sleeping, is turning different colors. Then she opens her mouth.

Puke shot out like a springy snake out of one of joke cans. Not the speed. But the color, the width, and the steadiness of the stream. We pulled over to the side of the road. Again, if the sun were out, we’d be in the shadow of the brand name hotel. She stops. She hasn’t woken up yet. My son, next to her, wakes up and groans at what he sees. Then she growls again and more gunk comes out. Another thick steady stream. It’s all over the car seat, the floor, the back of my seat, on our son and our daughter.

It was a disaster.

We pull into the parking lot. My wife works on the kids while I run in to check in. And, of course, we’re at the wrong brand name hotel. There’s another one across town. That’s where our reservations are.

Back in the car, we go.