Happy Saturday! To all of you fellow nice greys thank you for the cooking for dummies tips you gave me a while ago. To be honest...I haven’t actually cooked that much at all, but when I do I’ll keep all that in mind.

Before I get serious, has anyone ever used Shiftgig? Did you like it?

Now Serious——-

TW: depression blah, blah:

It’s not some sudden realization or anything, but I’m not happy at all with how my life has turned out. It’s not like anything terrible has happened to me, but I’ve let a lot of depression and intense fear of rejection, failure, being laughed rule my life for a very long time. I’ve gotten so risk-adversed that I just don’t push myself anymore and have lost sight of what it is I really want to do.

I’ve never held a position where I’ve made much money and still live with my parents and hated every job I’ve had. The one job I sort of enjoyed I stayed there for way too long and lost interest in it/ had a bad breakdown while there. I’ve since left which may not have been the best decision as I’ve been unemployed for a while, but I couldn’t see myself there any longer. Nothing has every peaked my interest so much it’d be a passion for me, but I like to write but have been too afraid to write professionally.

In short, my question to you all: How did you develop the confidence to start going for things you really wanted in life if you had a period of feeling stuck? Also, have you really ever learned anything meaningful from the times you’ve failed?

The self-help thing to say now is to embrace failure, but I just can’t. If I know I’m gonna fuck up before going in I don’t put in the same effort and if I pour my heart into something and fail, I feel embarrassed and ashamed and never return to the thing I was working on.