My wife’s Saturn LS1. It was green with a tan interior and she picked it up used after her Subaru wagon’s timing belt (freshly replaced by a Westchester CT Subaru dealer) ate the motor. It wasn’t a bad car (bless it’s heart) but there were little things that made me want to fire bomb it. The seats made my back hurt IMMEDIATELY when I got in it, it was plastic so washing it never seemed to help, it felt cheap and it drove like garbage. OH! Almost forgot. It had a recall for the rear brake lights that had been fixed under recall 4 times. The design was SHIT, using the brakes would activate the lights, which we all KNOW, PRODUCE HEAT! That would warp the panel holding the lights and make the connections non-functional. So you wouldn’t have any brake lights...well you had that third brake light, but it ate small bulbs like they were flashbulbs. I eventually just soldered the bloody lights in place. Pain to change out, but they worked!

THEN! Then they stopped making them. And THEN, they stopped making parts for them, so parts became hard to come by. Like when the heater core started pissing coolant onto the passenger’s floor... but no one had any in stock. It was Bars Leak or a junkyard sourced part. I looked at the mechanic and he looked back at me and said, with a straight face, “Bars Leak is a good product. You should try that first.” (I honestly just stared at him in silence... then used Bars Leak, it worked) Then the A/C compressor exploded (literally, a mechanic looked at it and told me in 30 years he’d never seen anything like it and wanted to know if I shat my pants when it happened because it HAD to be loud as hell... it was).

BUT IT WOULD STILL NOT DIE. Nope. Turned over every morning. Stinky heat, squishy glycol soaked carpet, no A/C, non-cleanable plastic panels and back pain inducing seating EVERY. BLOODY. DAY. Then more stuff started going downhill, while I was out of town no less. I made an appointment at a VW dealership because I knew she wanted a brand new Beetle... I made sure to put the extended warrantee on it because she’s going to drive it until I hate it enough to replace it... and it’s a VW so something may explode on it. But I’ve been much happier ever since that LS1 stopped parking in my driveway.