I was in college and a large group of my fraternity brothers and I took a bus to New Orleans. We went to school right in the middle of the state of Missouri, so the ride was about 12 hours each way. The bus was equipped with 1 restroom, about 50 adult men, and a nearly equal number of handles of booze. We departed late at night so we would arrive first thing in the morning and naturally, immediately upon departure, everyone starts getting absolutely blitzcanned. Handles of every type of liquor under the sun were being passed around the bus from one person to the next, many of which made it all the way around the bus. Even the bus driver’s wife (who for some reason came along for the ride) was getting in on the action. This went on for several hours before things start to get extremely messy. Someone on the bus, who nearly a decade later is TBD, was in the early stages of the flu. Not just any flu mind you. The symptoms I saw in the preceding days were the most horrific, violent of any flu symptoms I have ever seen; projectile vomiting, excessive diarrhea, etc. Slowly but surely, those individuals with weaker immune systems start flocking toward the restroom, puking/shitting their brains out. The sewage tank on the bus quickly reached max capacity, and eventually started to overflow. With about 8 hours left to go before we arrive in NO, we were trapped in a shit/piss/puke filled cesspool rolling down the highway. The smell was so unbearable, it would be like taking a dump in a bag and sticking your head in it for 8 hours. Every time we went over a bump or hit the breaks, the horrible fecal concoction would come splurging out the toilet. People were pleading with the bus driver to find a place to drain the tanks, but he just said there was nothing he could do.

Eventually, we get to New Orleans. Those with stronger immune systems who were able to fend off the beast through the bus ride eventually got sick during the weekend. Sunday came along and it was time to get back on the bus to go home. Surely the driver had drained the septic tanks during the weekend. Ehh, WRONG!!! We were beginning the trip home with a completely full shitter, except this time it had been fermenting in the sun for 2 days. Also, before leaving town, the whole bus had to stop at the hospital to pick up the driver’s wife, who had come down with the illness particularly hard. We waited for a solid hour outside the hospital before the driver returned, without his wife, took a seat, and drove us back to Central Missouri. She had it so bad the hospital wouldn’t let her leave. We rode the shitter’s-full-express all the way home and never looked back.