I’ll tell you what my high school parking lot was like last year.

7.30 AM: Don’t show up any earlier than this. Volkswagens and Subarus will be doing “donuts.” Pickup trucks leave 11s to mark their spots. Jake will hit you with his Geo. Premium parking is along the outer edge near the woods.

10.30 AM: It’s lunchtime and 10% of the senior class leaves to go to an internship. The race to empty the lot begins. A bagged Mk. 6 GTI slides out, dragging its belly. A Scion iM does a first gear pull up a blind hill. The EcoBoost Mustang sounds like a Honda Civic.

2.15 PM: Don’t get caught leaving after school ends like a JUNIOR. You have to wait for the all buses to leave first. Jake hits you in his Geo again.