A truck and a girl. Right off the bat, this story has potential for me being the bad guy, regardless. Still, sometimes the hints n are there and I never see the jealousy.

Let me elaborate. I was dating a girl about 12 years ago who, to be honest, was not the most intelligent decision I had ever made. The year prior to her, however, I had purchased a far more loyal lady in my life: my 1983 W150 Dodge Power Ram. The moment I started dating the girl (Lets call her “The Crazy”) my solid and reliable truck started being a pill. Fuel delivery issues, dead batteries, blown U-Joints...little things that could be attributed to just things caused by age and need for maintenance, Right? Still didn’t get the clue when 6 dates in a row, the Truck quit in protest. Not going well. By now, my friends were telling me the Crazy was bad news, and I still wasn’t listening. Sucker in love or some crap.

Anyway, a month in to the relationship...October, a bunch of friends have a scary movie marathon with food and drink and all that. Me and the Crazy go, take my truck, who doesn’t want to start, etc etc. One of the movies was Christine, the Plymouth of Doom. The Crazy decides that she does not want to be there, and we end up leaving early. The crossroads a the intersection make an X instead of a T, and I had to make a really sharp, leaning turn to the left, making the truck lean heavily to the passenger side. Remember this.

At the start of the turn, the Crazy, still complaining about the movie with the killer car, suddenly says something along the line of “You should junk this junk truck before it kills you too.”

It is at this moment that, while entering the turn, the carburetor sticks WIDE OPEN, making that Slant Six engine redline and roar, and the rear tires to start shredding around the corner. The truck heels over like a ship in a storm, and the Passenger door opens. Scary, especially considering that the seat belt suddenly released at the same time, sending the Crazy pitching head first toward the woefully un-cushioned asphalt. The Crazy has her cowgirl belt to thank for saving her, as I was able to grab only that to prevent the girl from tumbling out to doom. All while I was struggling to control a truck that was bucking like a damn horse. Once the truck straightened out, the door swung closed and the throttle released and the RPMs dropped and I regained control. My Truck had straight up tried to CHRISTINE my crazy Ex. The relationship ended shortly after that. The moment it did, the Truck ran like a seamless watch.

I still have the truck.