I haven’t kept track either. Here’s what I do know about the secret lives of backtalkers:

- Ziggy gave up booze but became addicted to weightlifting. She quit her job and is now winning bar bets by lifting the back ends of cars.

- k2b is attempting to start “The Iditarod of the South” with cats. It’s... ambitious.

- ScavengersDaughter had a series of mini strokes and now can’t pronounce the letter S. At karaoke she keeps picking “Dancing with My elf” and “When I Think About You I Touch My elf”. She also quit her job and is writing an elf help book.

- Chrono, whilst trying to download Pokémon Go accidentally downloaded Silent Hill Go. Several hours of wandering aimlessly later, his last post was, “Uh oh, here comes Pyramid Head.” RIP Chrono.

- Snacks lost both thumbs in a tragic origami mishap. Her newly attached thumbs belonged to an evil hitchhiker. Last seen somewhere outside Billings, Montana, thumbs busier than Marsha Brady’s.

I think your caught up now. You’re welcome.