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    StrangerSnacksStephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/14/19 11:48am

    One of the few ways in which I am a real grown up is my bed. I bought a nice mattress and box spring, a very expensive mattress cover, and real bed frame with a headboard and footboard and everything. I still have a futon in my living room, my tv sits on metal desk from target, my coffee table was rescued when my neighbor got evicted and abandoned all her shit. But I have a nice bed. 

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      Darth CredenceStrangerSnacks
      3/14/19 1:12pm

      This is absolutely one of the best things you can do for yourself. Don’t skimp on the bed.

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      fair_n_hite_451StrangerSnacks
      3/14/19 1:37pm

      No kidding.  Bed should be #1 on everyone “5 essential furniture pieces”.  Future You will thank you for not having a bad back and chronic sleep issues.

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    dudebraStephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/14/19 12:20pm

    Please decorate the walls with the taxidermied heads of DC lobbyists, he said half-jokingly...

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      Vindudebra
      3/14/19 2:44pm

      I wanna write a series about how a crowdfunded combination of The Purge and The Hunger Games - using lobbyists as targets contestants - helped avoid a dystopian wasteland.

      Working title is “The New Deal”.

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      dudebraVin
      3/14/19 2:46pm

      Sounds fun!

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    MisanthropicMunchkinStephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/14/19 12:36pm

    1) Be born

    2) Parents buy some decent furniture for your room

    3) Move out of house 25 years later, bring the now distressed furniture with you

    4) Fill in the gaps (kitchen table, kitchen chairs, desk, desk chair, lounge chair. So many chairs!)

    It worked for me, anyone [with a time machine] can do it!

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      My KinjaMisanthropicMunchkin
      3/14/19 2:27pm

      “2) Parents buy some decent furniture for your room” 

      LOL! I just imagined a big ass adult with this in their kitchen.

      Illustration for article titled
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      AuroraFirestormMisanthropicMunchkin
      3/14/19 3:18pm

      3.5) Get a new bed though, nobody wants to try to share your kid twin bed with you post sexy times

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    Prostate of Dorian GrayStephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/14/19 11:51am

    Nick Offerman rules. 

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      TorslokeProstate of Dorian Gray
      3/14/19 2:22pm

      Although his advice is counter to that which he offers elsewhere that one should learn to use hand tools and then decide after that whether one needs power tools.

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    Gameface doesn`t play nice with othersStephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/14/19 1:42pm

    Futon - sitting time and bed time, same piece. Excellence

    bean bag chair (find one) - so no one can get too comfortable

    2 industrial-sized spools - one for the TV and one to eat on.

    An area rug - because you may have guest that want to stay over and it doubles as a cultural meeting place

    A toaster oven - (technically an appliance but as Joy Behar says: So what, who cares?) A must for those long nights after coming home and wanting to reheat those bomb-ass DC restaurant meals like new. Better than the microwave because your food isn’t spongy.

    After these essentials, if you want are able to splurge, go to Pier 1 and get one of those big round papasan chairs. Everyone loves them because they are classy. 

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      Ag ObairGameface doesn`t play nice with others
      3/14/19 2:07pm

      A rug really ties the room together

      Your browser does not support HTML5 video tag.Click here to view original GIF
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      Hell-iph-I-Kno ¯\_(ツ)_/¯Gameface doesn`t play nice with others
      3/14/19 2:13pm

      Papasan chairs suck. Got one of those and the papasan couch for my first apt. Those sucked trying to drunk crash, they were just crumb & dirt sinkholes, trying to sex up on either didn’t work for any partners, and trying to get rid of them even in a college town wasn’t easy.  Do NOT do the papasans. 

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    Acolyte of MegatronStephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/14/19 4:00pm

    I think there is an Ikea near DC. I know congressmen only get about 150K (unless they got a raise) and rent is expensive as fuck in that area ... so decent but cheap Ikea fare would be best. I don’t think she’ll really be entertaining at her place, so a simple set-up like the mom commentator offered would be fine for starting-up.

    My only question is this: Is she keeping her pre-existing NYC address and that is why she cannot move her old furniture down?

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      ZabellaAcolyte of Megatron
      3/14/19 6:09pm

      There’s an Ikea in College Park, MD (suburb just north of DC) and one in Woodbridge, VA (more distant suburb to the south).

      The Constitution requires members of the House and Senate to maintain a residence in their home state (thought not necessarily same district) so if the didn’t keep her old New York place, she has to have a new one.

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      Meh-zuzahAcolyte of Megatron
      3/14/19 6:34pm

      My only question is this: Is she keeping her pre-existing NYC address and that is why she cannot move her old furniture down?

      Yes, because representatives are required to reside in their district. The DC apartment is a secondary home while Congress is in session. Additionally, her constituents will expect her to have a strong presence in the Bronx and Queens, as that is one of the campaign points against Joe Crowley--that he’d essentially abandoned Queens to live full-time in DC and make power grabs in the House.

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    Bowl Better TalkStephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/14/19 4:06pm

    I’m still stuck on how anyone can store clothes without a dresser. Does he just have a giant floor pile? Hang everything in the closet?

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      Meh-zuzahBowl Better Talk
      3/14/19 6:37pm

      I’ve seen several guys store their clothing on shelves (but that doesn’t work for adults who are expected to show up looking well-dressed and need to hang up their clothes). I also don’t get the act of placing your dresser in the closet, thereby blocking off the hanging space. I actually need every cm of the closet’s hanging space, and then some.

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      PugetSoundDebBowl Better Talk
      3/15/19 4:38am

      Closet organizer

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    BlackMage2030Stephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/14/19 1:52pm

    Loved the kid calling out his mother - have to check that shit.

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      Vanessa FutrellBlackMage2030
      3/15/19 9:37am

      I liked his mom’s response even better.

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    skipsthebossStephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/14/19 1:56pm

    Do none of these people sleep on beds?

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      Meh-zuzahskipstheboss
      3/14/19 6:38pm

      Given that Congress has been in session for 2 months, I think it’s safe to assume most are wagering the bed/futon has already been purchased and this is living room furniture we’re addressing.

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    PooJavelinIsSickOfLosingBurnerPasswordsStephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/14/19 3:37pm
    the only furniture needed to furnish your own space are as follows:

    The floor can serve as a perfectly good dresser.

    This frees up a slot for…

    Illustration for article titled

    from which to enjoy #4 and #5!

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