Kinja reply list

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LolaFalanasLongAssLegsIbn Safir
3/10/19 3:03pm
Jaguars make their living eating caimans and have a stronger bite than tigers or lions. That cat was probably waiting like “I wish a motherfucker would.” This is the SECOND time a jackass entered the jaguar enclosure at Wildlife World and caught paws. Some humans are begging to be a part of the food chain.
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  BorealisLolaFalanasLongAssLegs
  3/10/19 4:17pm
  HOLY SHIT.
  *remembers to feed pet tabby cat ontime today*
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  VinLolaFalanasLongAssLegs
  3/10/19 5:57pm
  IDK if it’s cartoons or stuffed animals that makes people act every flavor of stupid around actual predators, but you don’t have to be a goddamn MENSA candidate to know not to get near anything that people have gone out of the way to put behind a fence.
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VinIbn Safir
3/10/19 3:04pm
Please understand why barriers are put in place. Sending prayers to the family tonight.
Notice they’re only sending prayers, because their thoughts were likely variations of “You must wanna be in the Guiness Book of World Records for the dumbest motherfucker alive”
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  BorealisVin
  3/10/19 4:22pm
  They mean thoughts and prayers as sincerely as right wingers do after a mass shooting.
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  NewAroundHereVin
  3/10/19 9:18pm
  From the phrasing, I totally assumed the family in question was rightfully the jaguar’s:
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jcn-txctIbn Safir
3/10/19 3:52pm
Darwinism.
Chances are this incident is just one in this woman’s life, if one “thought” this kind of thing was a good idea, chances are she had other good ideas that didn’t end up as badly as most people try to avoid.
I give her 3-6 months before she “falls” victim to another well thought out “good idea”.
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  weapon-a the first try suffers no trollsjcn-txct
  3/10/19 6:16pm
  Yup.
  And though this Jaguar was clearly feeling generous, letting this colonizer off with only a smack, someone else will take this as proof that said Jaguar is cuddly and tots adorbz(!)...
  Dumbasses...
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  Rooo sez BISH PLZweapon-a the first try suffers no trolls
  3/10/19 7:32pm
  This. I just texted my mom about this and my mom said “She was lucky she wasn’t dead” and I said “Then that jaguar would’ve been dead. That jaguar knows better.”
  #WhitePeople
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volcanoislandsIbn Safir
3/10/19 2:17pm
Humans may well be the dumbest mammals.
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  ArtistAtLargevolcanoislands
  3/10/19 5:14pm
  Only the Darwin Award candidates and winners of which there are many.
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  Flamingo83ArtistAtLarge
  3/10/19 5:22pm
  If that were true stupid shit like this wouldn’t happen. There are ancient human skulls with teeth marks in them. Somehow it was survival of the stupidest.
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NonaYobizIbn Safir
3/10/19 2:52pm
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  BadOmbreNonaYobiz
  3/11/19 12:40am
  I worked at my local zoo one summer in high school, and made that mistake. I had been there long enough cleaning around things like the lemur enclosure to have gotten use to them sticking their hands out and grabbing you. It was both amusing and annoying.
  Well, one day, we had to clean up around the lion enclosure. Long day, not thinking, and having never cleaned up around this one I do remember thinking “Where’s the lion?” and figuring it had went back inside its “house,” a room enside a building made to look like a rock outcropping where you could view then lions indoor behind glass.
  **Hears movie roar and hear’s alpha male lion crash against gate while back turned to the enclosure!**
  I’ve never been so scarred in my life. The thing had been stalking me from behind the enclosure for many minute waiting for me to lose attention.
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  727272NonaYobiz
  3/11/19 5:48am
  well, the cheetahs in the second vid seemed veeeery cuddly tho... (i know, it’s individual and they had a relationship and all...)
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lonedemonIbn Safir
3/10/19 3:50pm
feels on topic
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  ElusiveCupcakelonedemon
  3/10/19 4:02pm
  The first thought I had after reading the title of this article was this video. Well played, sir.
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  Tall Glass Of Cakelonedemon
  3/10/19 10:12pm
  Ever, ever, EVER.....
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BadOmbreIbn Safir
3/11/19 12:25am
My favorite part of this story is the zoo being like “Hell, naw. We ain’t killing our cat.” lol I was so happy to read that.
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  Borg QueenBadOmbre
  3/11/19 9:25am
  Mine too. To paraphrase Katt Williams, “the jaguar didn’t go crazy, the jaguar went jaguar”
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Kensei_ImmortalIbn Safir
3/10/19 2:46pm
If we’re ever attacked by violent extra terrestrials I wonder how many thousands we’ll lose to trying to take a selfie with the giant death robot or what have you.
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  BadOmbreKensei_Immortal
  3/11/19 12:52am
  Remember that scene in Independence Day where everyone rushes to the top of the Library Tower to “greet” the obviously ominious City Destroyer floating above LA?
  Yeah, it’d be like that.
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  Kensei_ImmortalBadOmbre
  3/11/19 5:16am
  This is the exact scene I had in my head.
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Raineyb1013Ibn Safir
3/10/19 8:02pm
So, this isn’t really an instance of the jaguar attacking the woman is it was the jaguar standing its ground.
This woman is dumb as hell! Assuming she learned her lesson I guess some people have to learn the hard way. How much you want to bet she tried to scold the animal into behaving before it fucked her up?
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e36-burger-lordIbn Safir
3/10/19 8:03pm
Must be related to this guy.
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  BadOmbree36-burger-lord
  3/11/19 12:32am
  “Kentucky is a state, Kentucky is a state, all the people there are dicks, Kentucky is a state.”
  “Peter, you need to let go.”
  I loved this episode.
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  BlaqueBloqueBadOmbre
  3/11/19 10:34am
  Gary the no-trash cougar says "give a larbage: pick up your garbage!"
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