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    Not Enough Day DrinkingMichael Harriot
    1/29/19 4:05pm

    When I was kid my mom would take us to store and she’d only speak to us in Portuguese because she wanted us to learn it. One time at the register of a supermarket a white lady made a comment to her friend to the effect of ‘I wish these people would just learn English or stay where they came from.’ To which my mom responded ‘I speak fluent English, but I wasn’t talking to you, so I wish you would stop trying to eavesdrop on other people’s conversations.’

    Which is a story I relate to everyone whenever I hear about ‘assimilation.’ Just because your dumb ass only speaks one language and thinks Taco Bell is authentic Mexican food doesn’t mean people who choose to speak different languages or live together in similar ethnic groups or cook spicy food haven’t ‘assimilated.’ They’ve just become ‘American+’ compared to your bland old ‘American’

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      Kyo Soma A.Not Enough Day Drinking
      1/29/19 4:10pm

      Omg that is so hilarious and awesome. 

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      VinNot Enough Day Drinking
      1/29/19 4:20pm

      “American+” is the new glow-up all multilingual Americans need to start using.

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    EvenBaggierTrousers7Michael Harriot
    1/29/19 3:37pm

    i feel terrible a part of my comments on Hispanics offended some members of that proud culture

    Dammit, will ANY of these folks ever apologize for the actual comments instead of for making someone feel a certain way? Saying “I’m sorry my words made you sad” isn’t the same as “What I said was wrong.”

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      SheeshTheseNamesEvenBaggierTrousers7
      1/29/19 3:51pm

      And which culture is he talking about? Mexicans? Guatemalans? Venezuelans? Spaniards? Argentinians? 

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      Nunna Yorz (Greys get dismissed with prejudice)EvenBaggierTrousers7
      1/29/19 3:54pm

      It’s not even a political thing. Some people just don’t like to be told they’re wrong or they fucked up. It makes them feel bad/weak/somehow less than, so instead of just admitting their fault and moving on they deflect and make excuses that nobody asked for.

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    Rooo sez BISH PLZMichael Harriot
    1/29/19 3:37pm

    In a series of Monday tweets, the newsman tried to whitesplain his way out of ridicule by issuing an “all lives matter” version of an apology

    #FAUXPOLOGY

    …by assuring the melanated population that Old Man Brokaw doesn’t have a racist bone in his body.

    Those Flying Monkeys. I seem to remember someone else yapping about something like that.

    He’s orange, and he has his orange feet up in the White House right now after costing the U.S. economy $11B because money has never been real to him since his KKKDaddy made him a millionaire before he was out of his teens

    I also happen to believe that the Hispanics should work harder at assimilation.

    How’s his Cherokee and Sioux dialect practice coming along …?

    Illustration for article titled

     

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      Vanessa FutrellRooo sez BISH PLZ
      1/29/19 6:36pm

      Trump has not mastered the English language yet. I think that his English language skills are at barely a 5th-grade level. 

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      Rooo sez BISH PLZVanessa Futrell
      1/29/19 7:08pm

      My mama mocks me when I roll my eyes at his 12-word vocabulary

      “very very strongly”

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    cdwag14Michael Harriot
    1/29/19 3:57pm

    I can only imagine the uproar if someone said why don’t white people better assimilate to Native American culture. 

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      Rooo sez BISH PLZcdwag14
      1/29/19 4:01pm

      I said that

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      JRHaggsRooo sez BISH PLZ
      1/29/19 5:02pm

      Always ahead of the curve. You Rooole.

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    EngineeredMindsMichael Harriot
    1/29/19 3:56pm

    Every bit of data shows that white people are the least-assimilated group of people in this country. Most white people only have white friends. White people are more likely to only live around white people. White parents don’t want their children attending diverse schools.

    That might be some of the realest sh*t you ever wrote!! (.......proceeds to play some Tupac and I’m a Biggie fan)

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      knightynightEngineeredMinds
      1/29/19 5:04pm

      This is accurate as hell. I never considered my family might be racist until I came home from elementary school one day, and told my mom that I met a girl I really liked.

      The first words out of her mouth were “Is she white?”

      Now I was too young to really get what she was saying, but it stuck with me, and the older I got, the more obvious it was. We didn’t have any black friends (apart from a few of her co-workers... you know, the “good” ones). We lived in a white neighborhood, and if we had been of some means, I wouldn’t have gone to a school with so many African-American kids.

      I guess what I’m trying to say is that ingrained type of racism is pervasive and sneaky as hell, and if you’re not careful, it’s easy to just play along. 

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      EngineeredMindsknightynight
      1/30/19 9:16am

      Spot on. Growing up I lived in a very mixed community that had a lot of Jewish people. One of my best friends as an adolescent was Jewish. I would be the “token” at all his functions. He was cool. Even when I moved from NJ to GA his parents flew him down and he stayed with us for a week for the summer. Was he racist? Doubt it. But he was surrounded by mostly Jewish kids and me.

      On the flip side my three best friends at the time were Jewish, Greek and Panamian/African American.  I don’t think things are subconscious.  I think what you see and hear influence the choices you make even as a kid to who you gravitate to and accept.  Just my $0.02.

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    Dhiraj NaseenMichael Harriot
    1/30/19 10:41am

    Yall really need to chill with these close up old white man shots. It’s unsettling.

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    B'dilliBayMichael Harriot
    1/29/19 6:28pm

    Oh Tommy, assimilate to what? I grew up in California where nearly every major road is named after Latin Americans, and Spanish is just as predominate as English, because it was literally Mexico up until not so long ago.

    I think you meant to say “Act white”.

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      StrangerSnacksB'dilliBay
      1/29/19 6:39pm

      Its weird, I don’t ever think of the many, many Spanish names for stuff in CA as being in Spanish. I don’t translate L.A. into The Angels in my head like I do when I recognize words in other languages. We just sucked it up into American English. 

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      B'dilliBayStrangerSnacks
      1/30/19 1:17am

      I realized that when I moved up north, where many cities are named after indigenous peoples. That, and the local news assuming any news from California in a city with a lain sounding name took place in Southern California.

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    Sorely VexedMichael Harriot
    1/29/19 4:18pm

    “What this entire discussion is really about is the belief that the fiction of whiteness is something one should aspire to. That belief is called white supremacy.”

    Ka-fucking-boom!

    Permission to put this on a sampler?

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    VinMichael Harriot
    1/29/19 3:44pm

    White Boy Magic is the ultimate cheat code.

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    Babylon SystemMichael Harriot
    1/29/19 4:00pm

    I am so very tired of the “Say something racist + Weak apology” formula working so easily for white people. :/

    It’s like when the judge tells the jury to just “disregard” evidence they have already heard and everyone moves on. How does that actually work?

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