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    IDM3Michael Harriot
    11/21/18 1:27pm

    I agree with you on the pumpkin pie. There’s nothing like demoting your dignity in society than eating pumpkin pie.

    Sweet potato pie is better. but please stop with blending coconut in it. Coconut is for cake.

    Homemade cheesecake is even more better. That’s what I got drafted to bring this year. I’m making it tonight.

    But...I’m not eating anybody’s chitlins. That’s unacceptable. And for anyone who wants to counter-argue me about this: My folks killed hogs every year during my childhood. I was stuck with cleaning chitlins. The smell was horrible. And the scent stayed on you for days. There’s nothing worse than going to school the next day and your schoolmates saying to you, “I know what you did last night!” The only ones who sympathized with you were those who had done the same thing as you the same night. At least you didn’t suffer in shame alone.

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      Standing8IDM3
      11/21/18 1:30pm

      I am on team Pecan Pie. 

      Reply
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      MaishasburnerIDM3
      11/21/18 1:34pm

      I’ve never heard of coconut in sweet potato pie (my grandma’s recipe is over 50 years old, we don’t mess around with anyone elses). You just gave me a heart attack with that. Who are these broken people, and what happened to their tastebuds?

      Reply
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    JustPassingThroughMichael Harriot
    11/21/18 2:47pm

    Fix two plates. Someone is going to steal one.

    Truth! This tip is universal for all Black family gatherings. And I will add that if you really want to ensure your plate(s) aren’t stolen, immediately lock the plates in your car for safe keeping.

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      SenorcoconutsJustPassingThrough
      11/21/18 3:04pm

      I immediately take my plate to the car.

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      BlackandBitterCoffeeJustPassingThrough
      11/22/18 9:39am

      Pro tip, put the plate on the floor, not on the seat, otherwise it’s going to slide off and eating car floor food is just sad.

      Reply
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    GinAndTonic, Potential GrizzlyMichael Harriot
    11/21/18 3:06pm
    • DON’T chitlin-shame: Some people eat ass. Deal with it. It takes all kinds.
    Your browser does not support HTML5 video tag.Click here to view original GIF
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      GinAndTonic, Potential GrizzlyGinAndTonic, Potential Grizzly
      11/21/18 3:18pm

      Also, the CDC website has a whole page dedicated to chitlin safety. This is what it looks like:

      Illustration for article titled
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      Maiysha KaiGinAndTonic, Potential Grizzly
      11/21/18 5:56pm

      That’s a whole other post.

      Reply
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    Not Enough Day DrinkingMichael Harriot
    11/21/18 1:27pm

    How are you getting away with fixing to go plates before the meal? Where are you hiding it so that no one takes it or gives you shit for doing it beforehand?

    Even I used the crawlspace the in the attic to hide a hermetically sealed container of food inside an old chest of clothes no one’s opened in 10 years...someone is going to sniff it out somehow.

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      SenorcoconutsNot Enough Day Drinking
      11/21/18 3:02pm

      Right? I would be terrified to try this in my family. I can imagine myself sneaking with my plate like Solid Snake and I get that little exclamation point over my head. You died.

      Reply
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      KC Complains A LotNot Enough Day Drinking
      11/21/18 3:25pm

      Only explanation for this is that Michael is a ninja, right? I can't imagine anyone getting away with fixing plates before the meal was served.

      Reply
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    B'dilliBayMichael Harriot
    11/21/18 3:24pm
    • DO eat the stuff no one else wants: Make a big plate of the third-tier macaroni, the store-bought pound cake, the bloody fried chicken and your cousin’s white girlfriend’s pumpkin pie (yes, pumpkin pie is trash). Walk around and let everyone see you eating it, especially the people who brought that bullshit to the dinner. Then, as quietly as possible, throw it in the trash. The people who brought it will think you ate it and love you forever.

    I dunno about this one. Whoever brought that nasty food is going to insist you take the rest home with you because you loved it so much. Then next family get together they’ll make extra just for you. 

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      bun_up_tun_upB'dilliBay
      11/21/18 7:19pm

      I got aunties that man the garbage to watch what you are throwing out... I usually pretend that’s my to go plate, and act upset when someone throws it out... AND THEN I pack my plate with what I want

      Reply
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    900turboMichael Harriot
    11/21/18 3:33pm

    I made these and told everybody my wife made them:

    Illustration for article titled

    When the College of Aunts meet in 20-30 years she will be a shoe-in for Big Ma.

    DO bring something no one thought of

    My Dad would bring toilet tissue.

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      Bodjango900turbo
      11/21/18 4:22pm

      Your Dad is the real MVP.

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      sayyadina900turbo
      11/21/18 4:23pm

      Parker rolls? They look gorgeous whatever they are. 

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    bun_up_tun_upMichael Harriot
    11/21/18 7:17pm

    I wanna come to a Black American Thanksgiving soooooooo bad instead of crossing the boarder to shop. Don’t come for me, but we kinda have similar things in a mashed up Trini-Canadian Thanksgiving:

    Chitlins = souse (pigs/chicken feet)

    Calaloo = greens (and dasheen bush will burn your hands when peeling it if you dont use gloves and your ass if they don’t peel it properly)

    Mac and cheese = macaroni pie

    Sweet potatoe pie= we dont use a crust tho

    Fried chicken = fried fish, or I’m guessing stew chicken

    There is no potato salad 😯, but there’s fried plaintain, rice, peas, a ham, a pork roast, Turkey (which essentially is covered in blended fresh seasoning until it tastes good), mashed potatoes, freshly baked bread, black (rum) cake and sweet bread

    Signed,

    A jealous black canadian

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      IDM3bun_up_tun_up
      11/21/18 9:44pm

      It’s too bad you can’t make it down here to Alabama. After the quiet family dinner on Thursday, my cousins are hosting a community-wide Thanksgiving cookout this Saturday. there will be at least 10 grilles and smokers blazing all day long, and tables of food and drinks and children running all over the place and several games of spades and dominoes going on. And music.

      And if you like college football, we’ll have a big screen TV mounted outside playing the Alabama-Auburn Iron Bowl game.

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      bun_up_tun_upIDM3
      11/22/18 1:21pm

      It is really too bad - but thanks to you I have added a dream of a warm Thanksgiving with bama bbq yo my life goals 😍😍

      Reply
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    Vanessa FutrellMichael Harriot
    11/21/18 7:53pm

    I grew up in a family that ate every bit of a pig except the oink...this included the ears, feet, and chitterlings. The only person who was allowed to cook chitterlings was Aunt Juanita. We never ate chitterlings cooked by any other person because like Japanese Blowfish, chitterlings cooked by the wrong person will kill you. 

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      IDM3Vanessa Futrell
      11/21/18 9:49pm

      So you like mountain oysters. Okay.

      But what about souse?  And pork brains?  You can buy pork brains from the grocery store (Armour) in milk gravy.

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      Vanessa FutrellIDM3
      11/21/18 11:52pm

      Shut up and get a life. 

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    TodayIsMondayAgainMichael Harriot
    11/21/18 1:46pm

    At least in the north, white Thanksgiving is same minus greens and mac and cheese.  

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      TodayIsMondayAgainTodayIsMondayAgain
      11/21/18 1:50pm

      Well, this is also the same “Someone at your Thanksgiving dinner is going to say something bigoted. “ 

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    ElusiveCupcakeMichael Harriot
    11/21/18 9:27pm
    Illustration for article titled

    Ugh! These grey things are like roaches. Nothing short of a nuclear holocaust will get rid of them.

    “[Our] culture is Terrible.” Bitch why are you here?

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      JadeElusiveCupcake
      11/22/18 9:49am

      I’m constantly creeped out by their sick obsession with us.

      Why are they here indeed.

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      SuburbanMalcontentElusiveCupcake
      11/22/18 12:11pm

      Yeah, that shit doesn’t make any sense at all. I come here specifically to get the black perspective, so I can have a better understanding of things. Like, if you are a complete sack of racist shit, why even bother? I think it’s a bit of jealousy too, because honestly it seems black folks have a way better grip on enjoying life no matter what is handed to you.  

      Reply