Kinja reply list

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Genie LaurenMonique Judge
11/20/18 10:21pm
I’m a spatchcock evangelist. LOL
Get a pair of poultry shears (just a fancy word for scissors that you only use for birds), cut the spine of the turkey out, break the breast bone so it lays flat, and you have successfully spatchcocked a turkey. The point of doing this is so that the whole bird cooks evenly, even in the most finicky of ovens.
Don’t forget to brine it (I only do dry a brine, because wet brining will keep the skin from being crispy and golden), and then add your seasoning hours before putting it in the oven (tucking butter and garlic under the skin is great too).
You can get as creative as you want with the seasoning - I have a friend who makes jerk turkey. As long as you spatchcock, dry brine, and don’t overcook it (get a food thermometer, don’t go by that plastic thing that comes in the bird), you will have a really juicy turkey.
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  BloggerXGenie Lauren
  11/20/18 10:35pm
  excellent calls on the pop-up thing and getting a food thermometer (instant-read, can be gotten for less than $10). i’ve been doing a dry brine for several years, though this year i simply salted the bird and rubbed it down with homemade jerk rub (my dry brine has a few more ingredients than salt, though i can’t recall off the top of my head...it’s sitting in a jar on my spice carousel).
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  NopeNopejustNopeGenie Lauren
  11/21/18 8:05am
  Yess, spatchcocking is the best! It’s soo much faster. I’m toying with the idea of using bacon fat & herbs under the skin, think that would be a tastier sub for butter?
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Mercenary ChefMonique Judge
11/20/18 11:16pm
Just like any good meat cooking: low and slow. Rub that bird down in an herbed butter mixture of your choice (I have my own blend, but a standard ‘poultry seasoning’ will do in a pinch.) Be liberal with it, too, as the fat from the butter will help that lean meat stay moist and flavorful. I sometimes place a few slivers of butter underneath the skin on the breasts as a way to keep that white meat from drying too quickly.
Stuff the cavity with whatever aromatics you want. I usually* go with a whole garlic bulb that I’ve roughly chopped, a few sprigs of rosemary, and it may sound odd, but a couple bits of star anise adds a slightly woody, spicy scent. Don’t overfill the cavity, otherwise the heat will take that much longer to penetrate.
If you don’t have a lidded turkey roasting pan, tent some foil over the whole thing and slide it into your oven preheated to 200°. It’ll take 8-9 hours**, but the end result should be that fall-off-the-bone tenderness you’re looking for.
If you want to cut some time out, doing everything above with a spatchcocked turkey as the others mentioned will drop you down a few hours. Just put your aromatics underneath your turkey instead of inside it.
*Mostly because I’m still cooking for my very Midwestern family, and they have this weird aversion to seasoning.
**Estimates for a 12 pound turkey. A larger bird will take longer.
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  BadOmbreMercenary Chef
  11/21/18 12:13am
  Just like any good meat cooking: low and slow. Rub that bird down in an herbed butter mixture of your choice (I have my own blend, but a standard ‘poultry seasoning’ will do in a pinch.) Be liberal with it, too, as the fat from the butter will help that lean meat stay moist and flavorful. I sometimes place a few slivers of butter underneath the skin on the breasts as a way to keep that white meat from drying too quickly.
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  SessoMatto (Yes, I'm really fun at parties.)Mercenary Chef
  11/21/18 7:28am
  +1 on don’t overstuff. It really does mess up cooking time. Star anise sounds like a nice addition!
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Maiysha KaiMonique Judge
11/21/18 10:39am
I feel like this is a conversation we could’ve had privately, if you’d just asked.
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  Banana PeeholeMaiysha Kai
  11/21/18 11:03am
  LoL what a wonderful reply. HUGE smile. 😊
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BadOmbreMonique Judge
11/21/18 12:10am
You know how you cook a turkey on short notice? You ask Boston Market to do it for you. lol
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  redzedBadOmbre
  11/21/18 2:17pm
  I starred this, and I currently hate myself to some degree.
  I’ll get over it.
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  Vulcan Has No MoonBadOmbre
  11/21/18 8:25pm
  Popeye’s allegedly does a very good turkey. Needs 4 days of thawing, tho.
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Cali4lifeMonique Judge
11/21/18 2:00am
Oven bags. Plenty of seasoning, duh, butter between the skin and meat (ha ha), and let it slow cook for 4-6 hours, depending on size (your turkey will give you size/time estimates so trust those they are always correct).
Fill your pan and stuff it if you like with the basics: carrots, celery, onions, garlic (if you like), and smelly aromatics that are in the back of your cabinet.
But to me? Nail the dressing (stuffing, for my whites) and gravy. All depends on those things because when you use your fork to poke a piece of turkey, then scoop up some dressing, and gravy.. then swing over to the cranberry.. that little party in your mouth is what dreams are made of.
Happy Thanksgiving!
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  many bells down, now with .1% more pigCali4life
  11/21/18 10:07am
  I’m also all about the oven bag. Word of warning, though: never use a Butterball turkey. They inject so much liquid into those that the oven bag will give you turkey mush.
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  Raineyb1013many bells down, now with .1% more pig
  11/21/18 11:03am
  Yes to this! All that extra money for salt water injections. You can do that yourself if you're so inclined for much less. No name turkey is just fine thank you.
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BiturbowagonMonique Judge
11/20/18 10:49pm
I’ve actually never cooked a whole turkey. This year I am invited to a friend’s house, so once again I shall not do so.
Next year, if I cook turkey for Thanksgiving, I plan to do so in the Instant Pot, with a bit of help at the end from the broiler.
BTW, what’s your recipe for mac and cheese? Is it baked?
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  SessoMatto (Yes, I'm really fun at parties.)Biturbowagon
  11/21/18 6:05am
  Way back when I was still starting to learn to cook, a friend got married and asked me to roast a turkey for her wedding. Of course I said yes. I had an oven, and it was just one ingredient! Right? How hard could it be?!? (I thought.)
  Well... it took FOREVER. So it’s probably a good idea to check out the weight/cooking time. IP will work *if* it’s big enough. (The pot, I mean.) But, for a whole turkey, I’m dubious. Cut up is probably fine, tho.
  IDK how big yr broiler is, but... even spatchcocked, turkeys tend to be pretty big.
  The best part of roasting the turkey - in my (probably pathetic) home oven - was when I pulled it out of the fridge to prep it. When my cat saw it, I thought his eyes might fall right out of his head!
  It was easily two or three times the size of him (even if you counted the fur - lol) and he was absolutely beside himself. I don’t think he’d have known what to do if we’d left him alone with it! (He did get some as treats once it was done. Of course.)
  My recipe for mac & cheese (yes, it’s baked) is to either do the Martha Stewart recipe (or any recipe that has you make a white sauce) or else get the frozen Trader Joe’s one, and be sure to add bread crumbs/panko right before baking. Both are delicious!
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  BiturbowagonSessoMatto (Yes, I'm really fun at parties.)
  11/21/18 3:06pm
  I wish I could give you a second star for the cat commentary. :-)
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ThirdAmendmentManMonique Judge
11/20/18 11:05pm
I’ve been responsible for the turkey for years, since I seem to be the only person who doesn’t find it hard to do.
1. Wet brine overnight. I’ve always found this to be the best way to get the salt level right. I go with a pretty simple brine solution, and I’d just say check out what you’d like in there based on how you want it to taste.
2. To prep, I dry the turkey off, insert butter between the skin and meat at certain points, and coat in olive oil (those will help with crispy skin).
3. I cook low temp and slowly. I bast pretty frequently.
4. Plan to have the turkey done 20-30 min before everything else. Remove from the oven, cover, and let sit for about 20 min. This is key!
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StartingOverEasyMonique Judge
11/21/18 10:57am
Damn, this is one of the few years I’m not cooking the damn turkey!
I swear by a wet brine. I just dry the sucker off good with paper towels. I use ghee instead of butter now. It is shelf stable and spreadable at room temp. I spread that inside the bird and stuff that cavity with aromatics - garlic, onion, lemon and fresh sage, thyme & whatever you are into. I use the ghee and mix up a herb butter for the rest of the bird & I am liberal with spices. I spread that mixture between the skin & the breast & on top of the skin everywhere. I also have a basting liquid of Madeira wine and melted butter. Sometimes I spread cheesecloth over the breast & I soak that cheesecloth every half hour or so while it roasts.
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  thatsjustmyhair-kinjadStartingOverEasy
  11/21/18 11:57am
  I always star ghee. Good choice.
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Cardi B's Other ShoeMonique Judge
11/21/18 9:21am
Y’all are really giving tips when the only true recipe for turkey is:
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  redzedCardi B's Other Shoe
  11/21/18 2:23pm
  I’m sorry that whatever made you think like this happened to you.
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EvenBaggierTrousers7Monique Judge
11/20/18 10:00pm
We’re trying something a little different this year. We’ve cut up the turkey already and going to cook it in parts, rather than whole (which also cuts down the cooking time. My SO wants to make a turkey breast roulade and I wanted some dark meat, so we compromised. Got a whole turkey and I cut it into pieces - legs and thighs, wings, and breast. I deboned the breast so she’s going to deal with that and I seasoned the other parts and they’re in the fridge getting that flavor soaked in. I read a lot of recipies on cooking a pre-carved turkey so... we’ll see.
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