Discussion
  • Read More
    Becky"Good Hair"Johnston is sick of your shitMichael Harriot
    1/31/18 10:48am

    Ok, I know that I’m about to get dragged severely for this but, fuck it, it needs to be said;

    The only thing better than candy corn are those tiny, waxy pumpkins.

    Reply
    • Read More
      AaronBecky"Good Hair"Johnston is sick of your shit
      1/31/18 10:52am

      I’ll drop an entire bag of candy corn for a handful of them pumpkins.

      Reply
    • Read More
      Punchy McWantstofightBecky"Good Hair"Johnston is sick of your shit
      1/31/18 10:52am

      I agree with you.

      Reply
  • Read More
    900turboMichael Harriot
    1/31/18 11:20am

    “...if they aren’t committing meth-fueled armed robberies with a pet crocodile in their pants...”

    I’m offended. It’s not a crocodile it’s an alligator. - Florida resident 

    Reply
    • Read More
      IMadeANewBurnerToStarThisPoopJoke900turbo
      1/31/18 2:56pm

      https://www.nps.gov/ever/learn/nature/crocodile.htm

      Reply
    • Read More
      ArtistAtLarge900turbo
      1/31/18 3:03pm

      ‘s ‘GATOR!

      Reply
  • Read More
    AaronMichael Harriot
    1/31/18 10:56am

    Flordia...where bad things go to happen.

    Seriously, what’s the process to annex a state out of the union? I’m sure Florida would serve as the perfect case study with little objection.

    Reply
    • Read More
      skefflesAaron
      1/31/18 11:12am

      You have to get a big saw and a rabbit:

      Your browser does not support HTML5 video tag.Click here to view original GIF

      I dunno though, I’ve been trying to get those losers in Texas to secede for years. They are just too much of a bunch of pussies there though, they know they’d never make it as a real country.

      Reply
    • Read More
      LexWskeffles
      1/31/18 11:51am

      “They are just too much of a bunch of pussies there though, they know they’d never make it as a real country.”

      I love this so much.

      Reply
  • Read More
    JamieMichael Harriot
    1/31/18 10:57am

    These kinds of things NEVER happen on my flights! I feel so cheated. LOL

    Reply
    • Read More
      Hyperbolic Idiot ChamberJamie
      1/31/18 11:36am

      Every time I go on a flight I secretly hope i’m Needed to help restrain a passenger.

      Reply
    • Read More
      LibrarySchoolDropoutJamie
      1/31/18 11:53am

      Do you fly Spirit? At least one person has lost their mind on every Spirit flight I’ve been on.

      Reply
  • Read More
    Ugh.Michael Harriot
    1/31/18 10:48am

    Huh. You don’t often get a chance to use the phrase “Xanax and RAAAAAAAGE!”

    Reply
    • Read More
      Rooo sez BISH PLZUgh.
      1/31/18 3:39pm

      ‘STruth. That brain needs to be preserved for science.

      Reply
  • Read More
    Mercenary ChefMichael Harriot
    1/31/18 10:48am

    I used to spend all my free time getting my stupid news from Drew Curtis’ Fark.com, and Florida was the only state to get it’s own tag for the sheer volume and brand of crazy/stupid/racist.

    Glad to see that the tradition is still alive.

    Reply
  • Read More
    rusholmeruffianMichael Harriot
    1/31/18 1:05pm

    Michael, do not tell me that you haven’t heard of the Florida Man Twitter feed:

    https://twitter.com/_floridaman?lang=en

    The best description of Florida I’ve ever seen is that it’s “California on a Troma Studios budget.” Even the nice places aren’t really all that great when you get down to it, and the horrible places are terrifying. (My dad grew up in Gainesville; go five minutes outside of town and you are in redneck hell worse than anything else in the South and even in inland California.)

    Reply
    • Read More
      Nycknamerusholmeruffian
      1/31/18 4:16pm

      Damn. You beat me to @_FloridaMan.

      Reply
    • Read More
      Henchman of Local 246rusholmeruffian
      2/01/18 12:46am

      You can’t have Florida Man without:

      Florida Woman

      Well, you could. But he’d probably be very lonely.

      Reply
  • Read More
    boredalwaysMichael Harriot
    1/31/18 10:40am

    Wait, is it 2 months or 2 years in Club Fed?

    Reply
  • Read More
    PoutineNightinCanadaMichael Harriot
    1/31/18 10:39am

    Can we take your Florida Man description in the second paragraph and just paste it into every article Jalopnik and Jezebel use? That is pure gold right there.

    Also, Candy Corn beats Smarties every. damn. day of the week.

    Reply
  • Read More
    namastemuthafuckaMichael Harriot
    1/31/18 10:56am

    Damn Mike! (white Mike)

    That’s the kind of pill supply you need for international travel. pace yourself, bruh.

    Reply