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    hocuspocusoctopusMichael Harriot
    12/01/17 12:36pm

    White people potato salad is just under-cooked potatoes slathered in mayo with a touch of black pepper. Can’t be getting to spicy with it now.

    Also, chastise me if you want, but I prefer to not eat watermelon straight from the rind. Not because of any sort of racial optics, but because I’m a mess when I eat it and it always drips on my shirt. Even if I lean over to eat it, somehow I will still end up with watermelon juice on my chest.

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      Yes...They Are Real!hocuspocusoctopus
      12/01/17 1:12pm

      This isn’t some nasty shit you need to watch right here. Where’s the celery? The crunch? And for those daring and adventurous folks, where’s the dill?

      All she did was slosh around some damn sugarwarter and potatoes with mayonnaise.

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      "Hachi"hocuspocusoctopus
      12/01/17 1:30pm

      but because I’m a mess when I eat it and it always drips on my shirt. Even if I lean over to eat it, somehow I will still end up with watermelon juice on my chest.

      Your browser does not support HTML5 video tag.Click here to view original GIF
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    "Hachi"Michael Harriot
    12/01/17 11:44am

    Alot is a word and I’m ignoring the fact that it’s currently underlined in red as I type out this comment. It may not be grammatically correct but IDGAF you can’t make me type a space between it! Don’t take this from me.

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      thatsjustmyhair-kinjad"Hachi"
      12/01/17 12:10pm

      Imma leave this here tho

      http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/04/alot-is-better-than-you-at-everything.html

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      You are what you say"Hachi"
      12/01/17 12:10pm

      I have brute forced my phones autocorrect into no longer changing alot to a lot.

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    Azure Lore - Hope Rides AloneMichael Harriot
    12/01/17 11:48am

    We cut watermelon into cubes.

    Wait, wut? This is a thing? We always just, you know, cut watermelon into slices. You slice it like a piece of bread, then you cut that slice in half so you have a nice half circle of watermelon to eat. Or you cut it into quarters so you have like, a pizza-slice shaped slice of watermelon. What is this cube bullshit?

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      You are what you sayAzure Lore - Hope Rides Alone
      12/01/17 12:11pm

      Yeah I had no idea that was a thing.

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      Elon's MuskAzure Lore - Hope Rides Alone
      12/01/17 12:11pm

      I cube mine cause I like to let it marinate it its own juices in the fridge. So you get those less sweet bits on the out side a little more flavorful. And I just like it cold, even though fresh cut is for the true connoisseur.

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    MajorBurnMichael Harriot
    12/01/17 11:54am

    The responses to the Pocahontas article were upsetting. I didn’t realise the extent of the problem this country had in regard to reading comprehension.

     

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      KC Complains A LotMajorBurn
      12/01/17 11:58am

      It’s weird how white people talk about black people lacking education when they struggle to read the most basic of truths.

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      hocuspocusoctopusKC Complains A Lot
      12/01/17 12:44pm

      I will not stop being astonished by the lack of basic comprehension by some people.

      Some even viewed what he did as still honoring the Navajo Code Talkers. Just... wut?

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    Ugh.Michael Harriot
    12/01/17 12:21pm

    She grates on my nerve simply because she talks like a kindergarten teacher trying to show you how to write a cursive letter “B,”

    YES.

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      hocuspocusoctopusUgh.
      12/01/17 12:46pm

      Her way of speaking also gets on my nerves, but then again, look at this country? A segment of the country hated Obama because they felt like he was too smart and spoke down to them. This country is begging for a kindergarten teacher apparently.

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      Ugh.hocuspocusoctopus
      12/01/17 12:49pm

      She’s just a bit too camera-eager for my liking. And she talks like she’s auditioning for the lead role in a regional stage play.

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    You are what you sayMichael Harriot
    12/01/17 12:03pm

    How about “moon cricket?” No one ever says moon cricket anymore

    I didn’t know that moon cricket was a slur.

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      iculookinYou are what you say
      12/01/17 1:11pm

      I had no idea for that one either 😂. I’m partial to “jigaboo” for old timey slurs lol.

      Think about how much time and energy White people spent on coming up with slurs and making them stick. Think of how many mouths could have been fed or communities built while they pondered what was the most evil shit they could call us.

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      You are what you sayiculookin
      12/01/17 2:14pm

      Yes that’s a good one too.

      Yes god knows how much better the world would be without those thoughts.

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    Thotline Bling: black girl supremacyMichael Harriot
    12/01/17 1:28pm

    LMFAO @

    When I criticize black people, black people call me a sellout. But absolutely no one will call me a Kappa. I won’t stand for it.

    Also, I loved this:

    We turn the volume down on our blackness, not because white people will be offended, but because we want to be simply seen as human...

    We are not different. They are...

    I feel no need to suppress anything about myself, no matter how stereotypical it may seem. I love black people so much I wish I could kiss every gloriously thick, syrupy part of blackness, including our Hotep cousins and our drunk uncles. It is not a joke. It is real.

    Thank you, as usual Michael.

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      "Hachi"Thotline Bling: black girl supremacy
      12/01/17 1:30pm

      where you been at

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      Thotline Bling: black girl supremacy"Hachi"
      12/01/17 1:38pm

      Searching for a new job while trying (and kinda failing) not to let my performance at my current one go COMPLETELY to shit. #nolol

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    JamieMichael Harriot
    12/01/17 2:51pm

    Che:

    Eat This and Have a Good Day. I’ll be proudly picking up my Watermelon and Catfish at Publix.

    Illustration for article titled
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      Prostate of Dorian GrayJamie
      12/01/17 4:43pm

      You can’t post that abomination without context. What the hell are we seeing? I’m terrified to know what’s under the pickles.

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      JamieProstate of Dorian Gray
      12/01/17 4:53pm

      LOL! Potato Salad Cake with Weiners. Look it up. It’s awful.

      Reply
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    cakes_and-piesMichael Harriot
    12/01/17 12:07pm

    That thanksgiving writeup was funny, but it makes black people look bad. We are not a monolith.

    Did this Lil’ Skipper not see the paradox of this sentence?


    Reply
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    Elon's MuskMichael Harriot
    12/01/17 12:20pm

    Before I close, I would like to recommend both of you come up with better slurs. In this new age of white supremacy, “porch monkey” and “coon” is so pedestrian.



    ‘Canadian’ is the new one word for low key racists. Can be said in public with a knowing nod to their racist buddy. Seen as easy to back out of if they are caught as a joke.

    Not even kidding.

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      iculookinElon's Musk
      12/01/17 1:49pm

      Huh? Do tell.

      Reply