Kinja reply list

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Dinosaurs and Nachos, Very Legal and Very Cool!Michael Harriot
11/16/17 5:04pm
You and me both, buddy.
-Dinosaurs and Nachos, ages 12-present.
That sounded bitchy, I know. I didn’t mean it to be bitchy. Look, the breezeway between my office building and parking lot has had cum stains on the floor for months and they never seem to get cleaned up and even when they do there are always new ones, so truly, I am tired of penises and people who masturbate in public and just jesus fucking christ dudes, control yourselves godDAMN.
Ahem. Sorry about that. The “penising of America” though. That shit is gold.
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  cogitoDinosaurs and Nachos, Very Legal and Very Cool!
  11/16/17 5:05pm
  The hell do you work?
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  ThoseAreDigimonDinosaurs and Nachos, Very Legal and Very Cool!
  11/16/17 5:18pm
  Are people just watching porn right up until quitting time and then going “Welp, I’ll have to finish up during the walk to the car.” ? What is happening O_o
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ThoseAreDigimonMichael Harriot
11/16/17 5:00pm
Weinstein’s unclothed body, jiggling like a bowl of that vanilla jello no one eats at the Chinese buffet.
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  cogitoThoseAreDigimon
  11/16/17 5:06pm
  He just ruined a whole lot of things for me.
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  howcanidothis
  11/16/17 5:18pm
  And just wait until Michael starts hearing about Sylvester Stallone’s white penis... and accounts say he also masturbated in front of his accuser. Shameful.
  It’s as if there was this vast conspiracy among white women to protect white male sexual predators for the longest while, and suddenly someone popped the bubble.
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WRXforScienceMichael Harriot
11/16/17 4:58pm
Franken’s full-assed apology has been posted (it’s been up for hours and in at least 3 articles on other gawker sites), please update your article to acknowledge this development.
I’d also like to point out that the women is wearing actual body armor, which makes your description of him “grabbing her breasts” as a bit inaccurate (Franken was still entirely inappropriate and deserving of a strong reprimand and a healthy dose of shade).
Every time someone equates what Franken did to what the others on your list have done, it dilutes the seriousness of the assaults.
It is like how police will charge suspects with assault if while choking them out the suspect flails around and hits one of the cops. Technically it’s assault and resisting arrest, but we all know that it just isn’t.
What Franken did was definitely sexual harassment and in bad taste, but it was no where near the same level as Moore or Louis C.K..
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  IslaLatinaWRXforScience
  11/16/17 7:40pm
  1. Franken saying he “doesn’t remember the incident the same way” isn’t a “full-assed apology” - it’s a shitty one like Biden saying “I am so sorry if [Anita Hill] believes that” in response to her saying that she “expected a fair process and did not feel that she had one.”
  2. Photo opp aside, you don’t think Franken SHOVING HIS TONGUE DOWN HER THROAT IN REHEARSAL (for a skit he wrote, requiring them to “kiss”) constitutes sexual assault??
  3. Fuck off.
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  WRXforScienceIslaLatina
  11/16/17 8:09pm
  1. Well, Tweeden has already accepted Franken’s apology.
  2. We don’t know the facts, details, or context of the kiss (we can’t, only Tweeden and Franken can and they both remember decidedly different kisses). We do know that it was part of a skit (so not inherently wrong, like if it was an job interview or part of an office job). Also, they were part of a volunteer USO group, so Franken was not in a position of authority or power (aside from being a minor celebrity, which I’m assuming Tweeden is/was and explains her involvement with the USO).
  3. Why? There are gradations to actions and crimes. Franken was wrong, he apologized (the first line was the I’m sorry part) and has been forgiven. The incident shares little with Moore’s attempts at statutory rape, Louis CK’s intimidation and masturbation sessions, or Cosby’s date rape. I’m not defending Franken’s actions, merely stating that you can’t paint all bad actors with the same brush, they require individualized scrutiny, punishment, and public disdain.
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Sweet Potato Sam AKA Party Leader of the Thundercrats HOOOOO!Michael Harriot
11/16/17 6:04pm
That’s what I never understood about dick pics. Nobody wants surprise penis in any capacity. What the fuck is wrong with people?
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  Dinosaurs and Nachos, Very Legal and Very Cool!Sweet Potato Sam AKA Party Leader of the Thundercrats HOOOOO!
  11/16/17 9:39pm
  It’s not so much surprise penis as like, penis inundation. If dudes are constantly whipping their shit out on, like, the subway, women are basically being conditioned to think of schlongs the way they think of their morning commute. It’s too early and I don’t even want to be here.
  Then you get a dick pic and you’re all, it’s too early and I don’t even want to be here.
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  PhyllisWhitweedDinosaurs and Nachos, Very Legal and Very Cool!
  11/16/17 10:55pm
  Yes! Like, give us a chance to have an opinion about you before you show us your disappointments. It gets difficult to appreciate dick when it’s “right in front of my cereal?!” every time you leave the house. Even when we don’t see it...the implied dick is a menace.
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A Drop of Hell, A Touch of StrangeMichael Harriot
11/16/17 5:15pm
bowl of that vanilla jello

When I read that I tried to imagine vanilla-flavored gelatin and regretted the attempt. Then, worried that such horror might actually exist, I Googled it. At which point I was reminded that Jello also makes pudding. An article about sexual harassment and I forget Cosby.
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  ThoseAreDigimonA Drop of Hell, A Touch of Strange
  11/16/17 11:06pm
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StartingOverAgainMichael Harriot
11/16/17 5:12pm
There needs to be a class-action suit for the pain and suffering they caused. And the women they assaulted should probably sue them, too.
I chortled.
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Mortal DictataMichael Harriot
11/16/17 5:13pm
My greatest wish is for the penising of America to end.
Kinda hard when 62,984,825 Americans put a big cross in the box marked “shafting” last November.
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rcasiMichael Harriot
11/16/17 4:40pm
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AuntBeetsyreduxMichael Harriot
11/16/17 4:44pm
You and me, both, Michael. You and me, both.
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Prostate of Dorian GrayMichael Harriot
11/16/17 7:09pm
“if I was on Family Feudand Steve Harvey asked how many people it takes to masturbate and my cousin said “one,” I’d clap like a motherfucker.”
I really want to know how many answers there are on the board for this question.
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