Kinja reply list

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Mortal DictataMichael Harriot
11/16/17 10:22am
It’s amazing when someone can put together a statement that makes them look more guilty after reading it than before.
Doesn’t even deny it until the last paragraph but still feels the need to bring up being married a longtime and the “Liberal Media”.
I’m guessing he’s also an adulterer and probably has a “Gay experience” somewhere in his closet of skeletons. Hell maybe it’s a combo Gay affair.
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  Ugh.Mortal Dictata
  11/16/17 11:30am
  https://youtu.be/_YmDcCpD1gc
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  KC Complains A LotMortal Dictata
  11/16/17 12:31pm
  These people don’t have friends, man.
  Like, a real friend would sit Roy down and be like “listen, Roy, this statement is a profoundly stupid idea that will only make things worse. You either need to write a better statement, or you need to write no statement at all”. A real advisor would say that.
  White mediocrity must be one helluva drug, because you’d have to be high to think this statement was going to work.
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PancakeMan561Michael Harriot
11/16/17 11:36am
I find it strange that 45* hasn’t made a peep about this since the story was published. Accusing WaPo of making fake news AND defending a repugnant wart like Moore should be cat nip for the president with swiss cheese for brains.
If even THAT asshole won’t come to the aid of Moore...
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  ThoseAreDigimonPancakeMan561
  11/16/17 12:06pm
  I’m wondering how many times Kelly had to say “He’s a kiddy diddler, Mr President.” before The Donald realized that’s a bad thing.
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  HollylujahPancakeMan561
  11/16/17 12:45pm
  He’s shitting Twinkies about every mention of Moore’s rapeyhood, because that will draw attention back to his own 16 accusers. Moore’s usefulness as a deflector is just about to run out. Trump would love to throw him under the bus and just wish him away, but he’s going to get Moore’s stink on him no matter what he does.
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Azure Lore - Hope Rides AloneMichael Harriot
11/16/17 10:18am
Micheal, can I call you Micheal?, don’t ever leave us.
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  MatisyahuSeriousAzure Lore - Hope Rides Alone
  11/16/17 10:27am
  please don’t call him that.
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  imperatorvultMatisyahuSerious
  11/16/17 10:28am
  Especially since it’s spelled Michael.
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Obfuscatio: philosopher at largeMichael Harriot
11/16/17 11:08am
~~Dear Mr. Moore,~~
Hey Fuckhead,
We don’t give a shit who you married, what offices you held, or for how long. We don’t give a shit who rubber stamped your runs for whatever offices. We don’t even give a shit if you have consistent handwriting or not. (Pro tip: Don’t invite scrutiny of something that might burn your case to ashes.) We don’t give a shit how close to the election these allegations came but that they came prior to it.
Don’t wave about experiences in office that are actually examples of bad behaviour. Don’t remind us of offices you were tossed out of. It does your case no good. Similarly, don’t try tap dancing about with “DA”/“DDA”/“glove doesn’t fit” bullshit. It makes you look desperate, not innocent or even merely accused.
You chose to run for office. A high office. Did you not think your past would be scrutinized in detail? Did you not do some serious soul-searching before committing to the campaign? How did you not see this as a real risk?
You may not be a pedophile - at least by strict definition. You certainly were highly inappropriate, even by standards of the time. You knew this back then. You know this even now. “I asked her Ma” merely casts aspersions on the girl’s mother. How the fuck does she deserve that? (Oh, and is she around to verify this claim? Will you be dragging her before the national media? No? Thought not.)
When your own party - the party you claim association to - withdraws funding from your campaign and senior members of that party publicly denounce you and suggest that you withdraw, is that not a clear enough sign that you should tuck tail and crawl back from whence you came? Is your persistence now a sign of some personal vendetta against the whole country? Do you believe being a senator for Alabama is your own personal right, or is it distinctly a privilege bestowed only by the voters?
It’s time to show some humility for once in your sorry life and step aside. You were given an opportunity - one that you should have rejected based on recognition of your own history - and have managed to fuck it up entirely. The cat’s out of the bag, the horse ain’t coming back to the barn, and there’s no way you can ever unring that bell. Save what little face you have left by withdrawing, letting the lawyers work on something more important, and spending the rest of your life meditating on what could have been if you weren’t such a heinous person.
Or, y’know... hide behind a bunch of lawyers, claim your shit don’t stink, and try to rise up to national-level parriah from local- or state-level parriah. Your call entirely, Fuckhead.
With disdain,
Obfuscatio
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  insert something creative hereObfuscatio: philosopher at large
  11/16/17 4:12pm
  I’d give anything for this to be printed out and hand delivered to him. Pure gold.
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  Obfuscatio: philosopher at largeinsert something creative here
  11/16/17 10:10pm
  Anything? *arched eyebrow* *demonic cackle*
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Skip to my BaylessMichael Harriot
11/16/17 10:38am
I am suffering the same treatment other Republicans have had to endure.
Republicans like Dennis Hastert.
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  dannibalcorpseSkip to my Bayless
  11/16/17 12:29pm
  And Larry Craig!
  And Mark Foley!
  And Strom Thurmond!
  And Donald Lukens!
  And Robert Bauman!
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SktroopMichael Harriot
11/16/17 11:38am
Because of that, at the direction of counsel, I cannot comment further.
“I want to call them what they are: Lying, evil, brazen, hussy sluts, sent by Satan, the Democratic party, Hillary Clinton and the Jew media conspiracy to destroy Ol’ Judge Roy Moore with their false accusations for which the Lord will punish them with eternal torment. Jezebels, whores and slatterns of the highest degree who are now, as they were in the past, disappointed and hurt that they found me so desirable but could not enjoy sexual congress with Roy Moore because of his fine, upstanding, moral Christian values.
I’d really like to say that but, at the direction of counsel, I’d best keep my mouth shut.”
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HuskyBroMichael Harriot
11/16/17 12:41pm
Alabama Republican Senate candidate and grown-ass man who still wears a cowboy outfit, Roy Moore
Odds are, we’re all related to an older black person who suffers from BCS (Black Cowboy Syndrome) it’s real and scary. It’s mostly found in relatives in the South and Texas, but it can be found almost anywhere. If you have a older relative who grew up watching The Lone Ranger, Bonanza, Gunsmoke, Have Gun Will Travel, Rawhide, Death Valley Days, High Chaparral, etc. they might have BCS.
Pray for them.
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  BalkanOkamiHuskyBro
  11/16/17 5:15pm
  Can “Walker Texas Ranger” be a possible precondition for BCS too?
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  HuskyBroBalkanOkami
  11/16/17 5:26pm
  Yes. Also “Silverado” and “The Magnificent Seven”
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BadOmbreMichael Harriot
11/16/17 10:46am
Roy, stop. Game over, man. It’s not us, it’s you, you ole pedophile.
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BadOmbreMichael Harriot
11/16/17 10:19am
Why bless your heart, Roy. There ain’t no electoral college in a Senate election; this is not going to work out for you. Remember that when you get your ass handed to you next month.
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IMadeANewBurnerToStarThisPoopJokeMichael Harriot
11/17/17 12:08am
So, I’m sitting here watching AL-WVTM13 news because I haven’t gotten up to turn the TV over to the Chromecast input after the football game I sorta kinda watched, and it’s really hammering home why I don’t ever watch local news here in this cesspool.
There’s the morbidly obese woman with bleached-to-rags hair at some “religious leaders support Moore” press conference screaming at reporters that they’re all “the fake...lying...news FROM THE SWAMP!!!”
There’s the other, male religious leader (also significantly overweight, but that’s “normal” here) badgering the same gaggle of reporters as “sick, sick people” and calling them a “mob with torches” while insinuating to several local reporters that they were actually carpetbagging political character-assassins.
56% of white people in Alabama still support Moore. There are black people here who supported Moore. Many of those black folks were single-issue Bible voters who have now backed away, but still.
The only high point so far is the announcement of withdrawal of support by Birmingham-area Young Republicans, and their request to the AL GOP to officially do the same (which, of course, they officially refused to do).
ETA: they have moved on to a “story” about the Museum of the Bible. There’s no hope.
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