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    det-devil-ailsStephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/28/17 4:10pm

    Baseball is “America’s favorite pastime.” Donald Trump hates and fears America. I bet he can’t even touch a baseball without it causing him pain! IT BURNS!!!!!

    It’s like how they added the words “under God” to the pledge of allegiance to root out the Commies during the 50s - or how they’d make women accused of witchcraft in the 15th Century recite the Lord’s prayer!

    I bet splashing Trump with a Bud Light would be like throwing holy water on a vampire.

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      Carrie Mathisondet-devil-ails
      3/28/17 4:22pm
      Your browser does not support HTML5 video tag.Click here to view original GIF
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      EmmerdoesNOTrepresentmeCarrie Mathison
      3/28/17 4:36pm

      Bird knew he was colluding.

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    det-devil-ailsStephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/28/17 4:13pm

    Dubya was a lousy president, but the guy had a good ceremonial first pitch arm.

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      WRXforSciencedet-devil-ails
      3/28/17 4:37pm

      He did own the Texas Rangers. Trump tried to buy an NFL team, started and failed his own league, and is in the Pro(fake) Wrestling Hall of Fame.

      I think Trump is just waiting for his chance at something more his pace, either football (unlikely) or Pro (fake) Wrestling (completely plausible).

      Maybe his conflict is an appearance on WWE, I don’t know how their ‘seasons’ work, but he should totally make a unpresidented appearance (I’m imagining someone with a bat or ladder or even a metal folding chair in a ring/cage with the “President”).

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      det-devil-ailsWRXforScience
      3/28/17 4:42pm

      “See? SEE?!?! I’m giving a noogie to Nikolai Volkoff! Take that, ya Rooksi! No collusion. Case closed. For ever and ever, infinity!”

      Illustration for article titled
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    SktroopStephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/28/17 3:58pm

    Someone in the media should start a “sources say he throws like a girl” campaign, just to piss him off.

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    FauxcusedStephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/28/17 4:07pm

    The problem is that we do not have a President.

    We just have some asshole who was elected to the office.

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    Rooo sez BISH PLZStephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/28/17 4:38pm

    I thought he was supposed to be this big baseball star in military school or thereabouts.

    Illustration for article titled

    Yeah. Okay.

    They don’t play baseball in Russia or something?

    https://www.palmerreport.com/politics/report-judge-granted-fisa-warrant-defined-donald-trump-as-a-russian-agent-of-influence/2075/

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    EvenBaggierTrousers5Stephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/28/17 4:10pm

    I’m sure he’d throw out the first pitch at a Gwinett Braves or LeHigh Valley Iron Pigs or Tennessee Smokies game or any other small town minor league team in Trump-friendly areas where he can control crowd size.

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      SlurmsMcKenzieEvenBaggierTrousers5
      3/28/17 4:33pm

      I think the fear of an unfriendly crowd is only half of it. I wouldn’t be shocked if someone told me he’s never thrown a baseball before. Papa Trump certainly wasn’t playing catch in the back yard with him... He fears the public ridicule of him not being able to throw a baseball.

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      EmmerdoesNOTrepresentmeSlurmsMcKenzie
      3/28/17 4:38pm

      Yep.

      Dad was the NY son of a German immigrant, and Mom was Scots. They were trying to get into the upper-class.

      I wouldn’t AT ALL be surprised if he never learned to play.

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    Alexander Crouton-SkitchStephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/28/17 4:29pm
    Illustration for article titled

    Even Dooneese with her tiny hands would get that ball over the plate.

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    poo javelinStephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/28/17 6:46pm
    White House has turned down the Washington Nationals’ offer to throw out the first pitch on opening day.

    But is there any word on the offer for President Tiny Hands to take the first shot at the Marbles World Championship? At least that’s something he might be able to get a grip on…

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    BrwnskngurlStephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/29/17 6:33am

    No doubt he thinks such things are trite and he has never ever even held a baseball, let alone thrown one. He doesn’t want to look bad...imagine the Gifs!

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    crouching tigerStephen A. Crockett Jr.
    3/28/17 11:45pm

    President Obama actually threw from the mound. Most celebrity pitches get skipped from at least 10 feet closer.

    Reply