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    John CookHamilton Nolan
    7/15/13 4:56pm

    Of note: We spent literally HOURS trying to find a photograph of a man wearing shorts and appearing dignified or stylish to accompany this post. We failed.

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      LangostaJohn Cook
      7/15/13 4:58pm
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      Hamilton NolanJohn Cook
      7/15/13 4:59pm
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    Tom ScoccaHamilton Nolan
    7/15/13 5:11pm

    It should also be noted that Hamilton Nolan is sitting in the Gawker offices right now with a hoodie pulled over his head because the air-conditioning is at like 58 degrees and he has to compensate for his bare legs.

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      Hamilton NolanTom Scocca
      7/15/13 5:26pm

      Fucking pants people control the AC.

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      Tom ScoccaHamilton Nolan
      7/15/13 5:29pm

      You knew that when you got dressed this morning, though.

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    Leslie HornHamilton Nolan
    7/15/13 4:57pm

    I've been waiting for this post all day. PRO SHORTS!

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      Hamilton NolanLeslie Horn
      7/15/13 5:08pm

      Thank you Leslie glad to see at least one sane person in this workplace which is generally a hostile work atmosphere towards the differently-pantsed.

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      Leslie HornHamilton Nolan
      7/15/13 5:15pm

      I'm sitting here in my jorts, silently supporting you.

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    Kate BennertHamilton Nolan
    7/15/13 5:29pm

    Where do ankle pants fall on the spectrum of this debate?

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      Leslie HornKate Bennert
      7/15/13 5:33pm

      YOURE WELCOME

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      bbberlinKate Bennert
      7/15/13 6:34pm

      Ankle pants are ok, but like those shorts that are really long yet not quite pants, no. A thousand no you fedora wearing atheists.

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    Cord JeffersonHamilton Nolan
    7/15/13 5:03pm

    What about thawbs? Loose and airy for the heat, but without the indignity of exposing your calves. Everyone's a winner.

    In conclusion, it's time for America to adopt thawbs.

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      burneraccount2dayCord Jefferson
      7/15/13 5:10pm

      Because it's a long-sleeve dress with a pocket.

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      John CookCord Jefferson
      7/15/13 5:12pm

      That is not a word.

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    kyngfishHamilton Nolan
    7/15/13 6:50pm

    What looks childish and unmanly is a grown man wearing long board-style shorts. You don't have to go full Johnny Stockton or anything but they should be at least above the knee or you look like a damn juvenile. A grown assed man should have some muscles in his legs. And for chrissakes don't wear socks or wear no-shows. All the above advice goes double for short or stocky dudes.

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      kyngfishkyngfish
      7/15/13 6:55pm

      Oh and buy shirts that fit without looking like they're painted on. It isn't 1996.

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      Taternutskyngfish
      7/15/13 8:20pm

      This, a thousand times this. I'm heading to a cottage (I'm in Toronto, it's what we do in the summer) in a few weeks and its been impossible to find swim trunks that don't hang 3 inches below my knee and make me look like a frat boy.

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    Gabrielle CyniqueHamilton Nolan
    7/15/13 4:58pm

    If there's one thing I don't need to see more of: men's legs. Unless you play professional soccer, you need to keep those hairy chicken bones wrapped the fuck up.

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      SmilingSheepGabrielle Cynique
      7/15/13 5:07pm

      Fellow lady here. I know you were being funny (and succeeded!), but us ladies telling the guys not to war X, Y, or Z because we don't like the way it looks, is like dudes telling us not to wear short skirts if we don't wanna look like skanks, or to show some cleavage on a night out so we can attract them. When I was single, there were times and places I dressed with the male gaze in mind, because I was trying to solicit it (like when going out clubbing with my girlfriends hoping to find a cute boy to dance with). But most the time, and all of the time now, I really don't care what straight guys or women who are into women think about what I'm wearing...or anyone for that matter. I wear what I like, what's comfortable, what I feel good in, what I think I look great in.

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      BuffyIsMyCopilotSmilingSheep
      7/15/13 5:14pm

      I don't think telling a man that he shouldn't wear shorts because they are hideous, although they certainly are, is the same thing as shaming a woman about looking like a "skank."

      For the record, I dislike shorts on both men and women.

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    CommonVicesHamilton Nolan
    7/15/13 5:09pm
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      CommonVicesCommonVices
      7/15/13 5:12pm
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      CommonVicesCommonVices
      7/15/13 5:14pm
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    laurennovaHamilton Nolan
    7/15/13 5:13pm

    When it's as hot as hellfire outside and a man isn't wearing shorts, I question his sanity and intelligence. This knocks any attractive factor down by about 80% on average. Not to mention, I don't have to imagine what it's like to take the pants off of a man who's been wearing jeans on a hot summer day; I assure you it's quite gross. You can be both comfortable and fashionable at the same time. It's all about the type of shorts, the fit, the shirt, and the shoes that you choose to wear with the shorts.

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      VeryShinyLikeAHoliday2laurennova
      7/15/13 6:42pm

      Co-sign - and this goes for women too. If your ass cheeks are showing, re-think. (Let's not discuss the woman at my old gym who wore boy-cut underwear - I don't care if they were marketed as shorts, they were underwear - to spinning class with the bottom of her ass cheeks sweating all over the seat.) But a coworker of mine just changed into knee-length plaid shorts, a t-shirt, and sneakers with socks (he was on his way to do something sporty with his son) and he looked great. (He's also really handsome.) my grandfather lives in the Caribbean and rocks the short-sleeved button-down and cargo shorts look.

      The one look I can't really get behind is tank tops on men, especially really baggy ones, but that's more because men often don't groom their armpit hair and I don't like looking at hairy pits (again, this goes for women too - I wear t-shirts if my armpits aren't clean-shaven).

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      Zom-BVeryShinyLikeAHoliday2
      7/15/13 7:49pm

      Sorry, but I will not give up my summer tank tops. There's nothing worse than having visibly moist armpit stains on your t-shirt all day long.

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    SecretlyQuebecoisHamilton Nolan
    7/15/13 5:17pm

    My shorts philosophy is simple. Anything below 28 degrees Celsius (82F), and shorts are only acceptable around the house, outside, or doing errands where it's okay to look like a slob such as going to the pharmacy.

    Hotter than that however, and the need to not have my balls sweat off means fashion be damned.

    Also, a man wearing shorts and anything long sleeved is a crime against humanity. If I supported capital punishment, it would only be applied to monsters who wear shorts with long sleeved shirts.

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      invictusSecretlyQuebecois
      7/16/13 1:36am

      this is how we do it in Virginia.

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      SecretlyQuebecoisinvictus
      7/16/13 9:36am

      I left DC as soon as I could for a reason.

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