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    ratchedMaggie Lange
    5/16/13 1:06pm

    Inmates have been eating like this for at least as long as 1995, because I watched them. I admit, their concoctions were VERY similar to TB's. They better corner the market and copyright their wizardry with their Ramen, cheeze-crackers and Slim Jim concoctions toute de suite.

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      jelly71ratched
      5/16/13 2:44pm

      There is this prison messageboard that I like to read for shits and giggles. There is a whole section devoted to prison recipes. I will say, some of them are pretty clever. And some make me want to never eat again.

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      ratchedjelly71
      5/16/13 4:44pm

      I know, right? I remember the most shocked I ever was as a new employee, (an RN at a max. sec. prison in TX) and when an inmate became too ill in his cell to get to the ED, we had to go to their "house" and retrieve them. So. We get a call about an inmate who can't quit having seizures. We get to this cell where a guy is seizing, and his cellie kept messing with the toilet. The toilet was one of those SS, water and toilet in one units and the bowl was green with scum. What the cellie was doing, was he had opened a can of jack mackerel INTO the nasty toilet and was separating the bones from the flesh. I thought I was going to barf. Nas-teeeee!

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    jasoneliasMaggie Lange
    5/16/13 12:46pm

    Who would want to take credit for inventing this?

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      TheMoosiahjasonelias
      5/16/13 1:05pm

      $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

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      greyfox_typezerojasonelias
      5/16/13 1:19pm

      Considering the fortune they made from them...me.

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    CommonVicesMaggie Lange
    5/16/13 2:46pm

    Prison inmates actually do this kind of thing all of the time. They don't have a lot else to do with their time, so many of them wind up randomly suing people and companies for victimizing them under absurd circumstances. Some of the lawsuits are really hilarious, especially the ones scrawled in colored pencil.

    Speaking of which, about ten years ago, I worked for a firm that handled claims against a major pharmaceutical company. One federal inmate alleged that the company's diet drug had caused him to lose his job, his wife, his life savings and his freedom. As compensation, he demanded something like $20 million, a jet ski, 1,000 acres of land in Montana and 60 head of cattle. I wish I was kidding.

    No, I don't.

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      ratchedMaggie Lange
      5/17/13 7:44am

      Were you in TX, by any chance? It's a whole 'nother animal. The cooks in the kitchen don't mind fouling the entire pot, because they have their commissary food and don't eat from the pot.

      Also, have you had the honor of eating Nutriloaf? That's the food often served to inmates in AD-SEG or for other disciplinary/safety reasons (when an inmate can't even be trusted with a plastic spork). It's just the daily meal placed in a blender and then baked until it's a brick.

      I also worked during the Vita-Pro scandal that rocked the TDCJ. Vita-Pro was a "back door" deal that was used as a meat substitute in TX prisons. (Vita Pro made dog-food) There were more grievances and lawsuits over that as anything I can remember. Inmates attributed it to ever malady they had.

      I always *liked* school food. This was school food after it sat about 3 days, at best.

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        CommonVicesMaggie Lange
        5/16/13 2:41pm

        "He sent a Freedom of Information Act request to Taco Bell, asking to be sent all documents related to the invention of the Doritos Locos Tacos."

        It would be hilarious if the lawyers just responded with a few photos of Taco Bell's R&D department getting reeeeaaally high.

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          MisterHippityMaggie Lange
          5/16/13 12:43pm

          The other day, I got the idea of wrapping a dead frog in a lily pad — not as something to eat, but just as sort of a conversation piece.

          (Note to self: Send notarized letter, ASAP.)

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            VeryWellMaggie Lange
            5/16/13 12:45pm

            I also do hot sauce endorsements.

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              gtraindelayMaggie Lange
              5/16/13 1:00pm

              That was the most American headline I have ever read!

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                lankypankyMaggie Lange
                5/16/13 12:41pm

                Um, yeeaahhhh . . . I'm gonna need those TPS reports and also all your Doritos Locos Tacos money.

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