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    The Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabyStepsNeetzan Zimmerman
    5/13/13 10:35am

    Something went terribly wrong in that man's life. That poor bird!

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      drunkapeThe Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabySteps
      5/13/13 10:59am

      Pretty bird....can you say pretty bird?.....yes pretty bird.....

      peocock: hellllllllllp

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      The Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabyStepsdrunkape
      5/13/13 11:09am

      It should have pecked off his pecker!

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    MsOtisRegretsYourErrorNeetzan Zimmerman
    5/13/13 10:28am

    I love it when the mugshot suits the crime so well.

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      secretagentmanMsOtisRegretsYourError
      5/13/13 10:51am

      No kidding. If you looked up 'perv' in the dictionary, this is the pic that would be there.

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    pheliaNeetzan Zimmerman
    5/13/13 10:26am

    Ick. I guess he took the name "Phyl the peacock" a little too literally.

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      sui_generisphelia
      5/13/13 9:15pm

      I would've gone with

      "Pea"-do-"Phyl"-ia.

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    A_Copy_EditorNeetzan Zimmerman
    5/13/13 10:39am

    Has anyone hear ever actually heard a peacock? They sound like toddlers screaming in pain. That somehow makes it all the more bizarre and disgusting.

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      Cat Adam DriverA_Copy_Editor
      5/13/13 10:52am

      A few years ago, I was on vacation and staying at a bayside house near Ocean City, MD. We hopped in my in-law's golf cart one evening, and decided to take it exploring, as one is wont to do with a golf cart and beer in hand.

      We found a "House for Sale" sign, at the end of a spooky looking sandy forest road. Interest piqued, we drove onward, gleefly creeped out by all these old CCTV cameras lining the road. In our cheap bear buzz state, it was reminiscent of an episode of Lost.

      We heard a strange scream come through the trees, which again, creeped us out/made us giggle uncontrollably. We hightailed it out of there.

      The next morning, we had to go back in the daylight to explore further. When we got to the estate, we found a beautiful, massive old victorian home along the bay. There was nobody residing there, and we pulled up the cart to a secondary building with all manner of stained glass decorations hanging around it.

      We were about to dismount the cart to explore further, when suddenly.... the SCREAMS, again. But this time, they were cacophonous and surrounding us, one after another. And then a peacock jumped off the porch, hissing at us. And then we looked again, and another flew down from the second story of the house, flanking us. And then we looked around, and saw like 10 other peacocks, in the trees, on the house, everywhere.

      Hissing and screaming at us, and even knowing that it ultimately was just peacocks that scared us in the dark last night, we still were like "o shit, let's get out of here", because the birds did NOT want us there, and we were unsure as to what exactly peacocks do to strangers, so we bailed, not wanting to find out.

      Anyways, yeah, peacocks screams be scary.

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      philqb2Cat Adam Driver
      5/13/13 11:29am

      I need the directions to this place.

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    icewaterNeetzan Zimmerman
    5/13/13 10:29am

    I'll have you know that peacock was showing off its feathers every night to anyone who walked by. It was kind of asking for it.

    Why was it showing off like that if it didn't want to be touched by this old weird human? I know what he did was wrong, but at least this story can serve some good in reminding peacocks not to show off like that.

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      Mount_PrionNeetzan Zimmerman
      5/13/13 12:24pm

      Fucking a peacock to death is not one of the many activities I'd imagine is made more pleasant by smoking marijuana before.

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        econdaveNeetzan Zimmerman
        5/13/13 10:51am

        It's just a big misunderstanding. The guy's a huge Katy Perry fan, that's all.

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          chadchadwoskiNeetzan Zimmerman
          5/13/13 11:33am

          I know it's awful to blame the victim, but come on. Look how he was dressed. He was totally asking for it.

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            Secret_sqrlchadchadwoski
            5/13/13 12:32pm

            Unless the guy was gay you got the wrong bird. Here's the hen.

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            chadchadwoskiSecret_sqrl
            5/13/13 12:40pm

            The bird's name was Phyl, I took that as the male version for purposes of the joke.

            Plus he f'ed a peacock/peahen. I doubt it mattered much to him the gender of the bird.

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          reggiebushlateralNeetzan Zimmerman
          5/13/13 10:23am

          It might be time to have a separate category for Illinois, I mean the lady getting drunk celebrating her license that was suspended because of a DUI, the limo driver getting drunk and taking kids to prom...and these events just happened recently. Then there is the murder rate in Chicago and corrupt politicians in Chicago/Springfield...so maybe a category? Although I think Florida still wins in terms of dysfunctionality.

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            Pooperscooper23reggiebushlateral
            5/13/13 10:31am

            I live in illinois and I approve of this message.

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            reggiebushlateralPooperscooper23
            5/13/13 10:39am

            This guy looks like George Carlin.

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          Graymyas LeighNeetzan Zimmerman
          5/13/13 10:33am

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