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    DrunkExPatWriterAnna Breslaw
    5/13/13 9:14am

    The internalized patriarchy in Paltrow being more comfortable having people think her vagina looks like "an eight year old girl" rather than have them think she might have pubic hair is really, really fucked up.

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      TyrannosaurusBataarDrunkExPatWriter
      5/13/13 9:21am

      To add to this, the extreme pedophilia vibe! What the hell.

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      DrunkExPatWriterTyrannosaurusBataar
      5/13/13 9:23am

      It combines so much fuckedpness it's hard to quantify. Patriarchy, male gaze, pedophilia, body shaming, etc...

      It's really astounding.

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    Bingo,CarlosAnna Breslaw
    5/13/13 11:41am

    Effffffff! I was so relieved to realize I'm not pregnant last night, and now you spring this on me?!? Now I have to go get knocked up so me and Bey can be pregnant/raise our little ones together.

    Also, they call Aniston's glasses "glam". Come onnnnnnn, mannnn.

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      KaradiaBingo,Carlos
      5/13/13 1:23pm

      I just got a positive test. Do you think it could be false ? I'm scared shitless/over the moon/scared shitless. And I don't wanna talk about it to anyone before I'm sure. And I wanna say it cutely to the husband. Somebody do something. Did I mention I was scared shitless ? (But congrats on not being preggo !).

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      Bingo,CarlosKaradia
      5/13/13 1:55pm

      I was in a very similar situation (read: almost identical) yesterday. I have literally never been at a normal weight and not had my period but this month it just... didn't come. I've been less diligent about taking my b.c. as precisely as I would before getting married, but then the prospect of an actual baby was terrifying. I told my husband, I did a test last night, and it was negative. But I'm still suspicious. He didn't understand why I would be so scared, which was kind of comforting, but at the same time I'm sure I was like you in that it is such a huge life change and so permanent and am I ready and what's going to happen and I'm not ready and AHHHHH! There's a chance your test could be false, I would take another? But don't panic (this coming from a major panicker) I'm sure it will be fine no matter what! Sorry for being so long-winded.

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    see you in rach-hell only comments on tswift nowAnna Breslaw
    5/13/13 9:26am

    I'm confused about the Gwyneth story, because I thought she'd said - when first asked about the dress - that she had to get an emergency shave beforehand. I took that to mean she didn't groom as much as implied (creepily) here?

    I'm confused about this story period, though. Mostly because while that dress did reveal more pelvis than most dresses, it seemed weird to even mention her pubes since unless they're growing out to her hipbones (which I'm sure is the case for some people but I somehow doubt it's the case for her), they wouldn't be showing.

    Strange how I can put this much thought into this issue at 8:30am.

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      ScarletHerringsee you in rach-hell only comments on tswift now
      5/13/13 9:37am

      Pretty sure she's drunkenly mocking the whole pube-groom debate. Which, if you've ever seen on a gossip site or even on Jezebel in the days of yore, contains those exact descriptions. Over and over and over. For like, the past decade it's been like that.

      I don't generally give Gwynnie a lot of credit in the self-awareness dept but honestly, I can see her reading complaints about her last emergency shave interview and just be all completely, "WTF with these people..." And that's the sort of thing that would stick with you and pop up in your mind when drunk.

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      paging_dr_nicksee you in rach-hell only comments on tswift now
      5/13/13 10:28am

      That dress wasn't worth all the trouble honestly, and I hate the internet and the universe for giving GP an outlet to talk about her stupid pubes and non food diets. Ughhhh

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    ligirl92Anna Breslaw
    5/13/13 9:22am

    Bey is having another beybey? Can she name him/her something normal (but pretty) this time? I'm sorry, but I'm still not feeling "Blue Ivy".

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      MisfitToyligirl92
      5/13/13 9:29am

      That would be so unfair for Blue Ivy.

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      Seminal Colonligirl92
      5/13/13 9:32am

      I'm feeling a little Purple Liverwort on the way.

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    MizSpunkSplatterAnna Breslaw
    5/13/13 9:40am

    -Khaleesi, noooooo! Do not lie with the Franco. I hope people who care about her intervene.

    -I like when Goop P. gets sloppy.

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      LaComtesseMizSpunkSplatter
      5/13/13 9:49am

      OMG, Franco is totally Daario Naharis!

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      icallshannanigansLaComtesse
      5/13/13 10:35am

      Ha! Then what was Seth McFarlane? Viserys? Blech.

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    Dolly Pardon Me (neé PrettySerious)Anna Breslaw
    5/13/13 9:18am

    Nothing starts off your morning better than clickbait.

    Also, am I the only one that's more grossed out by Gwyneth's characterization of her junk as "like an 8-year-old girl's" than it being a "70s bush"? Ugh. Sexualizing childhood.

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      HermioneStrangerDolly Pardon Me (neé PrettySerious)
      5/13/13 9:16pm

      Yeah, it's really body shaming of her. Not that I'm somehow shocked Gwen isn't a model of body positivity or anything.

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    AriaheadAnna Breslaw
    5/13/13 10:12am

    Kanye never looks happy when he is with Kim anymore. I don't want to make assumptions about anyone's relationship but he looks like he is now realizing how deeply he dug this hole. I hope that they are happy.

    And finally I like Ryan Murphy. I am the biggest Angela Bassett fan. I would watch her paint a wall.

    I admire Beyonce so much.

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      Lucky FrogAriahead
      5/13/13 10:38am

      They're the perfect punishment for each other.

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      ohnoshebettadontLucky Frog
      5/13/13 1:05pm

      What is Kanye being punished for?

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    Dodai StewartAnna Breslaw
    5/13/13 9:17am

    Got me feeling so beybey right now

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      WillaCatheterAnna Breslaw
      5/13/13 9:32am

      "Smilers?"

      That's... not good.

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        lurkerbynatureWillaCatheter
        5/13/13 11:01am
        GIF

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      Rebecca "Burt" RoseAnna Breslaw
      5/13/13 10:03am

      The only time I have ever watched a Khardashian show was for five minutes when he was on it. He was with her in a dressing room, oggling her while her stylist or assistant or Satanic minion was helping her get dressed and pick outfits. He made suggestions. Then he came over, put his hands around her hip and made a comment about her figure like "That. That's what I'm talkin' bout," insinuating that she now achieved the perfect waist to hip ratio. He made some sort of sound that your parents make when you take them to the Outback restaurant and their porterhouse arrives on the table.

      He never looked her in the eye.

      I have no doubt he probably isn't very nice to her now that she isn't able to satisfy his need to be seen with the world's most bootylicious arm candy.

      #wholelottafucksIgiveboutthesepeople

      #seriouslycantbelieveIspendthefirstpartofmymorningatworkwritingthat

      #gonnagetfired

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        FluterDaleRebecca "Burt" Rose
        5/13/13 10:19am

        It's all about the image. You can't expect him to be seen in public with an imperfect hip to waist ratio. He agreed to having a baby, not having a pregnant girlfriend.

        Seriously, though. Sometimes you read headlines where so-and-so decided to do such-and-such with another star, and it's like, "Were you deliberately trying to pick the worst possible person on the planet for that?" Kim and I wouldn't be friends, but sometimes I just wanna shake her and say, "You are making bad decisions, Kimmy. Bad. Decisions."

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        pollyannacowgirl 2.0Rebecca "Burt" Rose
        5/13/13 10:31am

        Kim doesn't care. She's got the golden egg now. And when he walks away, she gets to play the sympathy card.

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