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    VioletsAreBlue12Dodai Stewart
    4/24/13 3:47pm

    I've been avoiding asking this for ages, but what in the seven hells is twerking?

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      KrishnaPineappleVioletsAreBlue12
      4/24/13 4:12pm

      Twerking is a dance move. It involves extensive engagement of the glutes.

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      ZemarSea-UrchinVioletsAreBlue12
      4/24/13 4:18pm

      You don't want to know really. I asked my sister because she is smart in the ways of things. But here you go friend (don't watch at work, maybe?):

      I'm sorry.

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    prestocrazymwahahahahaDodai Stewart
    4/24/13 3:28pm

    The seamstress who did my wedding dress alterations referred to that armpit roll as "top tacos". As in, "Oh, good thing you wanted me to add eyelash lace to the top of your dress, it will help camouflage your top tacos!"

    I left every single appointment in tears. But the fit was flawless when the big day rolled around, and she put a little loop in the front of my dress that allowed me to pee by myself, while straddling the toilet in a hilarious fashion.

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      Corgitisprestocrazymwahahahaha
      4/24/13 3:36pm

      I've been helping a friend pick out and get her wedding dress fitted. I think she would take body shaming from a seamstress if it meant she could use the restroom by herself. (Seriously, are there no restroom friendly wedding dresses out there?!)

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      prestocrazymwahahahahaCorgitis
      4/24/13 3:39pm

      The solution this terrible awful mean woman came up with was pretty smart:

      tiny loop on the inside of the innermost layer of the dress + crotchless spanx. You bend at the waist, find the loop and use that to hold your dress up while you approach and straddle the commode (so you're sitting facing the tank). My dress wasn't super big, so I could hold it up with one hand, and you don't have to worry about accidentally getting part of it in the toilet or anything. Downside? My grandmother totally saw me wearing crotchless undergarments as we were getting ready.

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    blue_myselfDodai Stewart
    4/24/13 3:30pm

    Okay. Regarding that Belly Flop spread. Did they HONESTLY have the gall to include a contestant from the Biggest Loser? Are you fucking kidding me? Obviously this person has had a long struggle with weight, AND they are not even a celebrity in the traditional "Hollywood pays you to be pretty" (that's a separate issue) way. This person knows they are overweight, has tried to make a lifestyle change (as misguided as it was, cause the track record for the Biggest Loser isn't so great, no crash dieting and impossible to maintain workout schedule will ever work longterm), and then gets a picture of their body splayed in a tabloid pointing out all the characteristics the mag would like to deem "flaws".

    I can't fucking believe that. Sickening.

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      TyrannosaurusBataarblue_myself
      4/24/13 3:39pm

      It doesn't make it that much better, but she was the host, not a contestant.

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      Slay Belleblue_myself
      4/24/13 3:41pm

      Please, they included 'tan mom' too, who also is just a regular (very tan) joe who is hardly a celebrity to expect to have a 'beach body'.

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    stacyinbeanDodai Stewart
    4/24/13 3:39pm

    I'm sorry but anyone who thinks it's okay to put a picture of "Tan Mom" directly above a picture of Anjelica Huston needs to be cunt punted to next Tuesday.

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      blue_myselfstacyinbean
      4/24/13 3:42pm

      Anjelica Huston is fucking fabulous, their paper is not worthy of having her image printed on it.

      Also, I mainly wanted to reply because I added "cunt punt" to my vocabulary after reading that sorority girl letter, and in my head you did the same :D

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      stacyinbeanblue_myself
      4/24/13 3:48pm

      Oh yes I did! That chick might be batshit insane but girl can turn a phrase

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    hardcöre umlautDodai Stewart
    4/24/13 3:28pm

    But was Matt Lauer backstabbing Ann Curry BEHIND HER BACK?

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      PandoraBoxxhardcöre umlaut
      4/24/13 5:34pm

      Yessssssssssss

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      hardcöre umlautPandoraBoxx
      4/24/13 5:40pm

      Did Ann yell "bitch, sit your ass down and shut the hell up, BITCH!" at Matt Lauer after he was done backstabbin her?

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    thebloodofthematadorDodai Stewart
    4/24/13 4:34pm

    Ugh, can we talk about this guy whose name is PETA MURGATROYD? Isn't that a Transformer or something? Jesus.

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      John Boehnerthebloodofthematador
      4/24/13 5:54pm

      Get ready to have your mind blown- Peta's actually a woman!

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      thebloodofthematadorJohn Boehner
      4/24/13 9:05pm

      Oh, duh. Oops. Still, my comment stands.

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    ojaDodai Stewart
    4/24/13 3:21pm

    I didn't think it was possible to bend at the waist without your stomach wrinkling at least a little, but I guess that's why I'm not cut out to be famous.

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      prestocrazymwahahahahaoja
      4/24/13 3:40pm

      Spoken like a hideous subhuman plebe. Get back in the sewer with you!

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      ojaprestocrazymwahahahaha
      4/24/13 3:49pm

      *cries into family-sized bag of Doritos*

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    FIGJAMDodai Stewart
    4/24/13 3:31pm

    "now he's hooked on the nookie"

    LOL. Did he finish and was like "What the hell was I thinking? This is fantastic! I should be doing it all the time. Hmm, I wonder if it's the same with all women of some are better than others?"

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      lunchcomaDodai Stewart
      4/24/13 3:51pm

      For once I'm going to agree with something Ryan Lochte said: He probably is a pretty good catch, assuming the woman in question is amused by his antics. He might be dumb as a box of rocks and dress like he just lost a bet, but he seems like a decent enough guy.

      I picture him with a woman who's smarter than he is but who isn't at all deep or intellectual, and whose strong parental streak manifests in preventing him from walking into traffic.

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        DashleyinCalilunchcoma
        4/24/13 4:46pm

        lol... I see your point there, but isn't the whole "jeah!" thing a little off-putting? And don't you imagine that he would want to use those godawful grills in the bedroom somehow? Maybe you're in to that sort of thing though, who am I to judge?

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        lunchcomaDashleyinCali
        4/24/13 5:09pm

        Oh, I'm not saying it's sexy. Quite the opposite. Just that if a woman either was able to find some amusement value in those things or was a little on the tacky side herself, he probably wouldn't be that bad.

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      Nan LittleDodai Stewart
      4/24/13 3:29pm

      This whole "pregnant Kim is fat Kim" think has GOT. TO. STOP.

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        KristenfromMANan Little
        4/24/13 3:55pm

        Seriously, it's making me feel bad for her and dammit, I don't want to! I can't stand her!

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        spaceystaceyKristenfromMA
        4/24/13 5:27pm

        Right? I actually defended Kim Kardashian the other day. Defended her! It felt like my world was falling in.

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