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    Ivyâť§Meher Ahmad
    4/16/13 3:43pm

    So I haven't been on a plane since I was 12 (now 25). I flew a ton when I was a kid, and although I hated it because I get horrible pressure headaches that make me feel like my skull is going to crack open, I was never scared. Until one last flight from the East coast to Texas, which I'd done many times before to visit my grandparents, I became terrified like 2 weeks before the flight. For no real reason, it just happened. I went, and the whole way there and back I was convinced I was going to die. Every sound of the plane's machinery (or worse, when it would periodically stop making sounds) I was convinced was something breaking that would send us plummeting out of the sky. And I haven't been on a plane since. I haven't been to an airport since. But I still have nightmares about planes. For really no reason at all except that they are in the sky and if something goes wrong, they will fall out of the sky. And I guess that didn't really hit me until I was 12 and I can't un-think it.

    Statistics about how you're more likely to die in a car are THE MOST USELESS THING to tell someone with a phobia. Every time I confess my shameful fear that is instantly spouted back at me. IT DOES NOT HELP. If a car breaks, it stops. If a plane breaks, it falls. Obviously there are other factors such as other cars. DOESN'T MATTER, DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER.

    So for real. I really want to travel (when I can afford it.) I'm really ashamed to say I've never been out of the US. What drugs can I take that will make me totally not care? Because drugging it up is the only way I'm getting within a mile of an airport. I don't really drink at all, have never even been tipsy (when I start to get buzzed it feels like a migraine coming on, no thank you!) so that's not an option. I heard xanax doesn't work at high altitudes or something?! or is that just the internet fear-mongering me because it sounds pretty silly.

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      superunknowedIvyâť§
      4/16/13 4:06pm

      I also developed a fear of flying, as an adult. Your fear is not uncommon and you are not alone. I don't know about Xanax, but Ativan sure does work at high altitudes. Don't be ashamed that you've never been outside the U.S. I believe many people have never even been on a plane.

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      catfaceIvyâť§
      4/16/13 4:09pm

      I'm sorry :( and yes, people who try to logic-talk you out of an irrational fear are really fucking annoying.

      Hoping you get some good advice here. I've actually never heard that about Xanax, but there are other anti-anxiety meds. Ambien is nice because it knocks you right out for several hours.

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    tallgirl206Meher Ahmad
    4/16/13 3:36pm

    This is actually perfect timing, I just booked my flight to Sydney for next Thanksgiving and I almost talked myself out of it like 4 times because I can't imagine being on a plane for 14 hours. WTF do you do for that long?!?!?! I feel like I'm going to end up killing my husband before we even land!!!

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      BobLobLaw2013tallgirl206
      4/16/13 3:49pm

      You sleep and you watch all of the movies. All of them.

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      StupidBurnerAccountstallgirl206
      4/16/13 3:52pm

      long flights are best with constant media. This would be the time to purchase a smart phone or tablet if you dont have one yet.

      1. Check if the airplane(s) have USB charging outlets at the seats. This is a more modern thing so check ahead of time. If not then invest in an extended battery pack. They're relatively cheap and can at very least get you through 5 or 6 hours.

      2. Check if the airplane(s) has wi-fi and if it's free or not.

      3. Load a few movies and games onto your smartphone/tablet that don't require any streaming apps or network connectivity. This way if your plane has no wi-fi you can still be entertained.

      4. When all else fails, get drunk enough to fall asleep to the in-flight movie.

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    RoczaMeher Ahmad
    4/16/13 4:04pm

    I'm taking a 17hr flight in June (after a 5hr flight), and my solution is going to be sleeping pills. Not for anxiety, but because I want to mitigate jet lag. (Other suggestions welcome!)

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      rockoutwithyourbockoutRocza
      4/16/13 4:12pm

      Well, I am claustrophobic and have OCD so flying for me (particularly on tiny planes) is just about the worst thing EVER.

      I also take pills to sleep. I had two full days of flying to get to Rwanda this past summer. I did not get jet lag. I had 3 8-hour flights because of the backwards way I decided to go. I slept as if I was in the time zone that I was going to and it worked. This is, of course, not my first time traveling a long distance but I did much better than I did last time with some meds.

      Where are you headed, if you don't mind?

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      Ginger, get the popcorn!Rocza
      4/16/13 4:27pm

      I do the long-haul 14+ hour flights for work semi-regularly, and I'm extremely claustrophobic, so here's my advice of surviving the long-haul flights (some of this is general advice, so sorry if you're a seasoned traveler and this is repetitive):

      1) Get a good seat. I like aisles, because I get anxious if I feel trapped, so aisles let me get up and walk around as I please. If you like windows so you can sleep, do that. Even if you have to pay $85 for the seat, it's worth it. You do NOT want to sit by the bathrooms. DO. NOT. If you can afford to update to Economy Plus—usually $150-200 for international flights, do it. The extra few inches make a big difference.

      2) Wear the most comfortable clothing you own. I mean yoga pants, leggings, wrap sweaters, sweatpants, etc. You will be sitting for a long-ass time. You do not want to be wearing anything with what I call "Real Waistbands." Also, LAYERS. I like to wear flip flops on planes so I can easily get my shoes on and off, but bring socks, because these long-haul flights alternate wildly between being really hot and really cold

      3) Water. Unless you are at a bullshit airport like Amsterdam, where they do security right at the gate, buy as much water as you can. You will dehydrate in 17 hours, and it will make being on the plan for 17 hours SO MUCH WORSE. If you are in the aforementioned bullshit airports where they do security right at the gate, buy your big-ass water bottles from duty-free shop in that airport. They are packaged "properly" or whatever, so they'll let you take those. For, for some ungodly reason you get on the plane without water, do not be afraid to ask for water literally every time a flight attendant passes you.

      4) Xanax. I prefer Xanax to Ambien for flights because I'm slightly paranoid and don't want to be non-functional should an emergency occur, and also because I don't sleep well on planes, so sleeping pills just make me too tired to watch the movies, but I'm too uncomfortable to sleep. I keep the Xanax in case I start to feel anxious, and it also calms me down enough that I can usually sleep for a few hours. Sometimes just knowing the Xanax is there relaxes me enough that I don't actually have to take it.

      5) Bring your toiletries on the plane. You will feel monumentally better if you have brushed your teeth and washed your face (I usually buy those individual face-cleansing towel things, since they are less messy in an airplane bathroom).

      6) Sleeping pills for when you arrive. I don't like Ambien for flights, but I find that taking a sleeping pill, or just another Xanax, the first and/or second night in place with a 11+ hour time difference REALLY helps my body align to the new place.

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    ljubicaMeher Ahmad
    4/16/13 4:37pm

    I am absolutely terrified to fly, but I used to fly back and forth between the UK and the states frequently. Big yes to talk to your neighbors! I've gotten through many a trans-Atlantic flight with this. One time I sat next to a girl who was an insane thrill-seeker. Hearing her talk about deliberately stalling helicopters and going rock climbing without any ropes or whatever (was it true? I don't even care) made sitting in a big commercial airliner feel easy-peasy. Also once a neighbor talked to me about chocolate for 2 hours. When you're anxious you can indulge the eccentricities of your neighbors, and it only makes things better.

    My other tip? Be hungover. The only non-scared flights I've ever had were when I was horribly, disgustingly hungover. Focusing on not puking everywhere doesn't leave much room for irrational anxiety. Looking out the window becomes soothing, instead of a never-ending "has the wing fallen off?" monitoring situation.

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      MrsTennantljubica
      4/17/13 7:17am

      Noooo! Never fly hungover please! Just yesterday I had a passenger vomit while passed out due to having had a big night. We had to put him on oxygen, and luckily had a doctor on board (who knew the guy, small town) to monitor him. It was pretty scary.

      I can handle a bit of spew but not unconscious pax. And that's a pretty common outcome of flying after a big night.

      A few sneaky wines during the flight though... hells yes please (when I'm not working, of course)

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      ljubicaMrsTennant
      4/17/13 8:54am

      True! I don't mean to be negligent in suggesting people fly while messed up/passed out. I have issues with alcohol so I wont drink on flights (the dehydration + booze = migraine for me) but because of this it takes very little to make me feel awful, but not passed out! I've never flown in that state!

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    HyactinthBouquetMeher Ahmad
    4/16/13 4:03pm

    Hmmm, as an American who's lived in the UK for 11 years and absolutely dreaded every flight I've ever had to take, I finally went for the diazepam (Valium) solution. Thank dog I did! I would say I'm more afraid to fly than anyone I know, and I (weirdly) know a lot of ex-pats who are absolutely terrified of flying. The diazepam doesn't make me feel calm, exactly, but 10mg every 4 hours makes a flight kind of tolerable instead of THE WORST THING IN THE WORLD. Even then I can't sleep - once I accidentally took 2 Tylenol PM plus the diazepam and I slept for about 30 minutes the entire 8 hour flight and just felt groggy the rest of the time.

    Plus it saves me from having embarrassing breakdowns (complete with gulping, heaving sobs and weird keening noises) in the security line.

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      EmpressZombieHyactinthBouquet
      4/16/13 4:29pm

      The expat thing: for me it's almost superstition. It's like a risk assessment. I used to be fine till I realised that I have taken a lot of flights in my life and I felt that this increased my chances of something happening.

      The take off is the worst for me. I discovered it was pressure changes and too much sensory input overwhelming my brain.

      You are rising very fast, the speed is changing, your brain is trying to make sense of the pressure changes, your vestibular senses are screaming, your proprioreception doesn't know where your body is, the sounds are very loud. It's basically a very bad vertigo attack and your body thinks it's falling. No wonder you freak out.

      Keep your head horizontal so your vestibular sense doesn't get overwhelmed.

      Keep your ears closed tightly.Use your fingers, this blocks out sound and helps with pressure in your inner ear.

      Close your eyes tightly.

      If possible, cover your head as well so you can get into a safe space.

      Do not keep your head vertical. This is important.

      I used to take drugs. I don't need to anymore.

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      ljubicaHyactinthBouquet
      4/16/13 4:43pm

      I've never met another terrified-to-fly expat! I lived abroad for 4 years total and am extremely phobic of flying and airplanes (I don't like looking at them). I think it compounded my homesickness because I felt like I had to risk near-certain-death to see my family, even though I went home fairly frequently. I used to take Xanax but my anxiety overpowered it and I was afraid to take bigger and bigger doses - maybe next time I'll try Valium. :)

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    girlwonderMeher Ahmad
    4/16/13 4:37pm

    My fear of flying is totally about a lack of control, so nothing will completely help unless I am allowed to fly the plane (which would be stupid because I don't know how to do that). Two things that have helped a little: first, a friend's dad is a former commercial pilot and he explained what causes crashes to occur, when those things are "likely" to happen, and what happens when they do. Second, I watch the flight attendants like a hawk, especially during take-off. No matter what happens, as long as they look calm, it soothes my nerves.

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      OhIKnowgirlwonder
      4/16/13 4:49pm

      The problem with watching the flight attendants, which used to be my go-to, is when something DOES go wrong. I was on a flight where we got caught in some kind of wind shear while trying to land, and ended up having the wing of the plane bouncing off the freaking runway. It was INSANE, and the flight attendants all looked completely freaked, which made me even more freaked.

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      wheretobegingirlwonder
      4/16/13 5:01pm

      I just posted almost the same thing. High five.

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    TchompyMeher Ahmad
    4/16/13 4:09pm

    I'm afraid of turbulence so I don't know how much any of these coping strategies will help me. I spend the day leading up to my flight nervously checking the weather in all my locations and then try to read and relax through the flight until the inevitable announcement that everyone should remain seated with their seat belt fastening because we may be hitting some slight turbulence. Then I spend the next 10+ minutes of bumps white knuckle gripping my armrest and whispering ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck. Anyone else afraid of turbulence? I've tried thinking about how I'm more likely to get into a car accident than a plane crash or reassure myself that turbulence is just caused by bumpy air and doesn't really threaten the plane, but it still makes me want to pee myself and I usually end up drinking a few bears or taking a low-dose anti-anxiety med to try to deal with it (which only sorta helps).

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      MamaMiaItsaMeaTchompy
      4/16/13 4:41pm

      Horribly afraid of turbulence. The key is to try relaxing when nothing's happening and reward yourself when something is. Save the bag of peanuts for when the turbulence hits or wait until the bumps come to reread your favorite book. Also a good time to have a beer in hand.

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      chicksflyTchompy
      4/16/13 4:51pm

      Maybe read up and learn about what causes turbulence during flight (usually clouds are flying over mountains)? That way, you can kind of be prepared for when it happens?

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    I'd eat a spiderMeher Ahmad
    4/16/13 4:06pm

    Rescue remedy pastilles are a lifesaver on flights, as is melatonin

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      Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the SnarkI'd eat a spider
      4/16/13 5:55pm

      My wife did the melatonin thing on our last trip to Europe. It made her skip a period.

      That was... interesting.

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    ottermannMeher Ahmad
    4/16/13 5:18pm

    I always like to start my flights with a bit of fun. When your plane is sitting at the end of the runway, about to take off, you'll hear the engines rev up. As soon as you hear that, lean forward a couple of inches in your seat, but don't stiffen up. Then, when the pilot releases the breaks, the thrust from the sudden acceleration shoves you back into your seat. When this happens, I softly say, "Zoom!" Now, take into consideration I'm 44 years old. People sitting next to me usually give me a funny look, but who cares. it keeps them from talking to me durring the rest of my anti-anxiety ritual.

    After the plane takes off, I read a good book. And by good book, I don't mean some paper back you saw in a store at the airport that you heard someone say was good once. I mean a book you have read in the past that enthralled you so much, you couldn't put it down. We all have had a book like that. And, who cares if it is a book that may seem childish or silly or stupid to anyone else. Do you read for their enjoyment? Are you reading to keep them calm?

    Also, if your flight serves a full meal, get a glass of milk with it. (if you can drink milk, that is) And, make sure they give you a straw. Heh heh heh...you see where I'm going with this, right? While eating, blow a few bubbles into your milk. Just try it. Trust me on this one.

    And, if your favorite book isn't long enough for your flight, or just isn't cutting through the anxiety, make sure you have some silly activity books with you. Like the ones you had 20 years ago as a kid. Simple puzzles and games. Madlibs. And a few comic books. (you can buy older ones really cheap at a local comic store)

    Now, you're saying to yourself, "Self, this guy is nuts! He's telling me to revert to childhood on a plane!"

    Well, yes and no. Don't act like a child, (except for milk bubbles), so much as enjoy some of the things you did as a child. It's hard to succumb to anxiety while having fun.

    Or, book a flight across the Pacific on a C-130. You'll have no anxiety on a commercial aircraft ever again.

    I am an experienced traveller. I've been on 6 of the continents, (haven't made it to Antartica yet), and flown over all the oceans.

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      Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the SnarkMeher Ahmad
      4/16/13 6:04pm

      I had to fly almost every week at my first job, and every month at my second job. I am fortunate to have pretty much no anxiety about flying, but I do get INSANELY sick on flights— whoever makes dramamine has made a fortune off of me.

      I also get car sick, bus sick, train sick, seasick, amusement park ride sick... and everything sick.

      I did, however, sit next to folks who were clearly anxious during flights, and it's terrible. My wife's dad used to actually be an aerospace engineer, but he HATES flying. It's so bad that they'll take cruises to destinations rather than fly, which limits their travel time. I suspect his discomfort with flying is part of why he hasn't been back to China in years despite having been born there.

      The thing that people without phobias or anxieties don't realize is that people know it's not rational. Explaining using numbers doesn't make people feel better. I have a pretty nasty anxiety about large birds (seriously), and I know it's not really rational. That person with the crazy demon bird on her shoulder? She's rational, because the bird clearly has not harmed her. But keep that demon bird the hell away from me, because I break out into cold sweats when those horrible beasts get near me.

      Rational? NO. Does it make me miserable? YES. The point? You don't have to be irrational to be irrationally afraid of something.

      Also, birds are evil.

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