Kinja reply list

Read More
TheBurnersMyDestinationHamilton Nolan
8/15/16 3:25pm
This confirms my theory that people with money have no fucking idea how to spend it, and should give it to me instead. Seriously, this has to be the stupidest non-problem I have ever heard in my entire life. Maybe you should take 5 minutes to talk to your little brat about the importance of not being superficial. I am sure Brayden and Mckenzie will get the fuck over having to grow up in a three bedroom house. (there were 8 of us in my family and we lived in a 3 bedroom house and none of us have had a breakdown over it yet).
Reply
- Read More
  butcherbakertoiletrymakerTheBurnersMyDestination
  8/15/16 3:29pm
  No shit. I can set up a tax-deductible charity for them to contribute to paying off my student loan debt which would be a far better use of their money than worrying about their special snowflake’s social possibilities.
  Reply
- Read More
  MajorBurnTheBurnersMyDestination
  8/15/16 3:31pm
  They only have 1 kid, according to Hamno’s momblogspeak translation. Braykenzie gets a playroom I guess.
  Reply
Read More
DolemiteHamilton Nolan
8/15/16 3:29pm
I think she should buy a 4,000 sq foot house and trade in the car on a loaded 2017 Suburban so her kid has the most friends, and all of the other moms are envious of her the most, out of all of the moms. Having lots of savings and no debt isn’t going to make anyone jealous, because you can’t plaster “I’ve got $400,000 in my 401K” on our forehead or anything.
Reply
- Read More
  MiniatureamericanflagsforothersDolemite
  8/15/16 3:35pm
  My boring school teacher parents are living the best revenge right now despite having no forehead tattoos.
  Reply
- Read More
  MiloStephensMiniatureamericanflagsforothers
  8/15/16 3:41pm
  Sorry to bring this up here, but they’re actually fugitives, on the run from the horrible crimes they committed right before conceiving you.
  Reply
Read More
ThrumbolioHamilton Nolan
8/15/16 3:30pm
People are superficial here.

MOTHER (to DC): Alright, son, see those people? Those people are stupid. Stupid and fragile. They have no capacity to mentally deal with their existential terror, and instead prefer to buy themselves incrementally larger baubles designed to make them feel superior and/or make them forget their impending death for a few fleeting seconds. Don’t be like those people.
Reply
- Read More
  ReburnsABurningReturnsThrumbolio
  8/15/16 4:11pm
  I genuinely am concerned about this whole line of thinking with my son. Well ... sort of anyways. There are a lot more things I am more concerned about, such as not turning him into the next Norman Bates, but this one is up there as well.
  
  I actually work in an upper middle class suburb, so it is actually more economical for me to live in one. I also have a son who is almost 2. I do genuinely worry about how I am going to keep him from adopting the attitudes that most of my fellow co-workers, who for the most part have never known anything but a comfortable upper middle class lifestyle, and the attitude that I’m sure most of the kids he will be around will also adopt.
  
  Thanks to a lot of dumb luck, I have a good enough job that I could hypothetically afford a lot of that shit, such as the 3000 square foot monstrosity of a home that has a dedicated media room and 3 bedrooms that I’ll never use, But holy shit, why?
  
  That’s true for a great many things in upper middle class suburbia. I do not want my son to be raised to think this kind of shit is somehow important to enjoy his life.
  
  My only reservation is trying to figure out how I’m going to explain this to my kid without him turning around and telling those other kids:
  
  My Dad thinks your Dad is an idiot for buying a $60,000 car that doesn’t really do much more than a $20,000 car. It’s not like he can go 150 mph on a suburban side street.
  Reply
- Read More
  ThrumbolioReburnsABurningReturns
  8/15/16 4:14pm
  That’s true for a great many things in upper middle class suburbia. My only reservation is trying to figure out how I’m going to explain this to my kid without him turning around and telling those other kids:
  
  My Dad thinks your Dad is an idiot for buying a $60,000 car that doesn’t really do much more than a $20,000 car. It’s not like he can go 150 mph on a suburban side street.
  
  I have the same issue. Want to make sure my daughter is anti-asshole without being...well...an asshole about it.
  Reply
Read More
Hip Brooklyn StereotypeHamilton Nolan
8/15/16 3:29pm
From the thread:

These people desperately need hobbies.
Reply
- Read More
  MajorBurnHip Brooklyn Stereotype
  8/15/16 3:33pm
  So, you wouldn’t figure out where to get the good candy. Those rich a-hole give out whole bars! Do you want a snickers bar or some dusty ass walgreens sale werthers?
  
  /judging you
  Reply
- Read More
  WeregoingstreakingHip Brooklyn Stereotype
  8/15/16 3:34pm
  Joke’s on those dumbasses. It’s way easier to walk door to door in the townhouse neighborhood than it is in the McMansion neighborhood. The POORS will have more candy and that’s all kids fucking care about.
  Reply
Read More
ChozoRuinsHamilton Nolan
8/15/16 3:23pm
My future children already hate me for living in 1,200 sq ft house.
Reply
- Read More
  BobbySeriousChozoRuins
  8/15/16 3:32pm
  There’s only 1 known secret to guaranteeing your kid a few friends. A pool.
  
  Reply
- Read More
  BobbySeriousBobbySerious
  8/15/16 3:34pm
  .
  
  GIF
  
  Reply
Read More
Dave Hamilton Nolan
8/15/16 3:23pm
Well we had it tough. We used to have to get up out of the shoebox at twelve o’clock at night, and LICK the road clean with our tongues. We had half a handful of freezing cold gravel, worked twenty-four hours a day at the mill for fourpence every six years, and when we got home, our Dad would slice us in two with a bread knife. And I had friends.
Reply
- Read More
  QuadPoleDave
  8/15/16 3:27pm
  You forgot to mention you walked uphill both ways to school 8 days a week.
  Reply
- Read More
  butcherbakertoiletrymakerDave
  8/15/16 3:27pm
  Wow, that’s incredible. You had a shoebox? Gee, I wish I was that lucky growing up.
  Reply
Read More
HoldMeCloserTonyDanzigHamilton Nolan
8/15/16 3:33pm
This one is really easy. Buy the smaller house and keep the old car. Then buy an outstandingly expensive watch (not a Rolex or a Breitling - a big boy watch like an IWC Portofino or a Patek Phillippe Natalius/Caltrava/Aquanaut). Wear this watch while you are grilling when your neighbors are over.

Then talk with your new neighbors about how ‘non-income real estate is a cash trap’, ‘everybody knows that after ‘08 liquidity is king’ and ‘we just hate putting money into depreciating assets like cars’.

You become that family that is ‘really rich, but they are well grounded so they don’t show it at all. I think they’re really old money.”

You’re welcome.
Reply
- Read More
  One-T-MatHoldMeCloserTonyDanzig
  8/15/16 3:54pm
  This.
  Reply
- Read More
  chekov's dildoHoldMeCloserTonyDanzig
  8/15/16 3:59pm
  whoa, now i know how i’ll scam friends and lie to people
  Reply
Read More
MajorBurnHamilton Nolan
8/15/16 3:28pm
I mean, you laugh and this is dumb but some people do tend to act like “poor” is catching. Easy to avoid these assholes in your adult life (avoid parenting groups), harder for kids. Maybe live in a more diverse school district.
Reply
- Read More
  Slow MutantMajorBurn
  8/15/16 4:05pm
  Honestly, most of these urbanbaby things seem pretty out of touch. But this one makes sense. I grew up in a school district that took kids from inner city and affluent areas and I definitely remember the kids from the poorer areas (both black and white, before anyone suggests it) getting made fun of because their family didn’t make enough money. Kids are assholes. Moving to a different area doesn’t change that.
  Reply
- Read More
  Lizabethie: of the New WorldMajorBurn
  8/15/16 4:06pm
  The highest attaining school districts tend to be highly segregated, which is a horrible Sophie’s choice here.
  Reply
Read More
HarrisBurgerMeisterHamilton Nolan
8/15/16 3:35pm
Just so we are clear, we have a socially awkward adult who despite being able to afford a nicer car, drives a six-year old car. And, despite being able to buy a bigger house doesn’t want to because they don’t need it. She lives in a superficial area and is concerned about her child’s social prospects.

Sounds like a horrible fucking person. Has anyone from Kinja called Child Services on this monster?
Reply
- Read More
  Punt ManHarrisBurgerMeister
  8/15/16 3:48pm
  She doesn’t sound like a horrible person. She sounds like a person with a horribly stupid fucking ‘problem’ and she’s seeking advice from a mix of both horrible and horribly stupid fucking people. This is clear grounds for making fun of this person despite her apparent reasonable financial approach.
  Reply
- Read More
  HarrisBurgerMeisterPunt Man
  8/15/16 4:09pm
  Her “horribly stupid fucking ‘problem’” is concern for her child. She seems to realize she lives in a rich, superficial nightmare and is trying to navigate it in such a way that she doesn’t harm her child.
  
  Rich people are not allowed to have problems. Or, at the least, don’t voice them.
  Reply
Read More
Quasar FunkHamilton Nolan
8/15/16 3:33pm
I lived in a trailer as a kid, but everybody liked me because I brought weed.
Reply
- Read More
  Slow MutantQuasar Funk
  8/15/16 4:01pm
  No, Charlie, they didn’t. They just let you hang out with them because you brought weed.
  Reply
- Read More
  Quasar FunkSlow Mutant
  8/15/16 4:07pm
  It’s been like 20+ years, can you please just let me continue lying to myself?
  Reply