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    Gabrielle BluestoneJordan Sargent
    8/10/16 2:26pm

    I like to eat a burrito bowl using their chips as a fork

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      the judo madonnaGabrielle Bluestone
      8/10/16 2:28pm

      So simple, yet so awesome. How have i not thought of this before? Many blessings on you and your family.

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      The_TaggerGabrielle Bluestone
      8/10/16 2:28pm

      Damn right!

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    dothedewJordan Sargent
    8/10/16 2:15pm

    I have not eaten at Chipotle since they started poisoning their customers. But you know that tortilla has like 1 million calories, right?

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      humpsaucedothedew
      8/10/16 2:19pm

      I haven't eaten at Chipotle since I stopped feeling anything coming out of my asshole.

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      dothedewhumpsauce
      8/10/16 2:20pm

      Seems like you’ve got it backwards brother. When you stop feeling anything coming out seems like the time it is ok to start eating Chipotle.

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    toothpetardJordan Sargent
    8/10/16 2:15pm

    I throw it right in the toilet; cutting my guts out of the loop entirely.

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      dothedewtoothpetard
      8/10/16 2:19pm

      disintermediation of the market. Nice.

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      HypnoCattoothpetard
      8/10/16 2:29pm

      Hot pockets!

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    MizJenkinsJordan Sargent
    8/10/16 2:48pm

    Chipotle diet hack: looking to lighten your wallet and lose lbs? Well, since each Chipotle burrito bowl is technically like 3 days worth of food you can in fact turn it into such.

    Just load up a bowl with everything but lettuce (guac on the side), take it home, buy some lettuce and some normal-sized tortillas (because Chipotle tortillas are roughly the size of Gaia’s areola) and voila!

    I guarantee you will be disturbed once you realize exactly how much Chipotle you’ve been consuming. But if you are cheap and vain like me you will also cackle wildly over the fact that you can now eat Chipotle 3 days a week for $10 and not gain weight.

    Bon appetit!

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      beetpicklesMizJenkins
      8/10/16 2:49pm

      That’s exactly what I (plan to) do whenever I go there - until I finish it all up within two hours of putting away the leftovers.

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      Pokey_Staples13MizJenkins
      8/10/16 3:04pm

      I save up my Chipotle nights for heavy cardio/leg days. 1100 spare cals? FUCK YEAH DOUBLE CHICKEN! (I also skip the burrito entirely so I might be doing it wrong.)

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    Fresh Courage TakeJordan Sargent
    8/10/16 2:13pm

    I fancy the method of ordering a burrito bowl and an order of chips, leading to a huge order of nachos with all the trimmings!

    Bon appetit!

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      merekatFresh Courage Take
      8/10/16 2:15pm

      This is truly the only way to eat Chipotle.

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      Fresh Courage Takemerekat
      8/10/16 2:18pm

      And they’ve got some kind of chips and guac deal going now, so you’re looking at a good two or three meals there.

      Mange! Mange!

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    Low Information BoaterJordan Sargent
    8/10/16 2:15pm

    As your only caloric intake over a 72 hour period. Or drunk, crying, shirtless, on the floor a.k.a. The Mexican Hasselhoff.

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      dothedewLow Information Boater
      8/10/16 2:25pm

      There is a whole generation of internet users who came of age after the Hasselhofff video

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      HellishHarlotdothedew
      8/10/16 2:30pm

      How much of the world they’ve yet to experience.... wonderous.

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    The ever-present football-player rapistJordan Sargent
    8/10/16 2:16pm

    Taco Bell is a better value and the exact same food.

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      boaboaboatengtengtengThe ever-present football-player rapist
      8/10/16 2:18pm

      Someone doesn’t remember all the stories that came out a few years ago about how T-Bell’s beef was only like 65% meat.

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      MajorBurnboaboaboatengtengteng
      8/10/16 2:38pm

      Food grade silica doesn’t contain e.coli though does it, genius?

      /s

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    FelixElixJordan Sargent
    8/10/16 2:14pm

    you won’t feel any shame when you eventually do it at your desk.

    Wait, are you talking about eating the meal or the gastrointestinal aftermath?

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      SquadalooFelixElix
      8/10/16 2:17pm

      I can only read it as the latter. Sorry, Jordan, but there’s always shame in shitting your pants.

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      SarahspundaFelixElix
      8/10/16 2:21pm

      First take some Cipro, then amoxicillin & put on Depends. Then you’re ready for Chipotle!

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    dothedewJordan Sargent
    8/10/16 2:19pm

    If this is not a “hack,” then why is it filed to Hacks?

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      Sean Brodydothedew
      8/10/16 2:20pm

      If this is not a “hack,” then why is it filed to Hacks?

      I think because Jordan’s a hack

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    reggieinatlJordan Sargent
    8/10/16 2:20pm

    The best way to Chipolte? Easy.

    GIF
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