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    ZukkaJ.K. Trotter
    8/09/16 2:45pm

    What are we talking about here? Can’t tell if I’m supposed to laugh here or be incredibly depressed.

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      weebleswobbleZukka
      8/09/16 2:46pm

      Depressed and the answer is the Times Square subway station.

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      Masshole JamesZukka
      8/09/16 2:51pm

      I assume he’s talking about this...got my popcorn out already! Suck it New York!!

      GIF
      GIF
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    Brendan O'ConnorJ.K. Trotter
    8/09/16 2:57pm

    I think you mean when it happens *again*

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      J.K. TrotterBrendan O'Connor
      8/09/16 2:59pm

      No...

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      teenytinycornteethBrendan O'Connor
      8/09/16 3:03pm

      I think you mean When it Happens NOW

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    Barry PetcheskyJ.K. Trotter
    8/09/16 2:50pm

    The In-N-Out will happen in Times Square, just like every other chain restaurant.

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      Dave Barry Petchesky
      8/09/16 2:52pm

      God damnit, then I would be FORCED to go to Times Square, like some common tourist!

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      Sobchak SecurityDave
      8/09/16 2:53pm

      Shut the fuck up, Donny.

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    Shaw Me A Good TimeJ.K. Trotter
    8/09/16 3:08pm

    The East Village. It’s almost *always* going to happen there first. It’ll be a small well-kept secret among the city’s hipster elite and some NYU kids. Probably tucked away in Alphabet City, mid-block on 7th between Avenue B and Avenue C. It’ll start small, but then of course it’ll quickly pick up internet traction, combined with some stellar yelp reviews and word of mouth advertising and soon enough you won’t be able to experience it unless it’s the middle of the day on a Tuesday or waking up at the crack of dawn to get in line to put your name on a list to one day experience it two weeks from tomorrow. Two millennials from Buzzfeed will write an article about how amazing it is, complete with GIFs Emojis and enough teen slang to make it hot AF.

    Then it will come to the realization that it needs to monetize and spread. Sure the small outpost in Loisaida is great but how can it possibly capture the popularity that it has caused all over the city? There are expansions. First to the West Village. Then finally crossing the threshold of 14th Street to head north into the heart of the tourists and bridge and tunnel crowds. Grand Central. Theatre District. Rockefeller Center. Upper West Side. Chelsea. Hell, even a couple of locations in Brooklyn for the fans who can’t even get across the river. Sure, they won’t be as good as the original, but at least those who live far flung from the epicenter will be able to get at least a small taste of what happened there.

    Soon, it will spread like wildfire not only across the city, but to every possible outlet where you can make a cheap buck off a name, a brand, a dream, a vision. You can experience it in between innings at Citi Field, right between the Shake Shack and Blue Smoke. At Penn Station when you’re about to hop on the LIRR out to Babylon. As you’re delayed at Terminal 5 waiting for your JetBlue flight to head out to LA, smack dab between gates 34 and 36, and then conversely, next to your gate at LAX when you trudge home from your week in the sunshine. Your parents back in Shaker Heights, Ohio call to tell you that Kroger is finally carrying it and they can finally get that New York experience without having to leave the Midwest.

    Then one day, the rent increases. The original storefront once bursting with jaded college juniors, graphic designers, creatives who didn’t want to grow up, amateur foodies, your ex-girlfriend and her terrible awful friends can’t afford to keep the original store without justfiying a stupefyingly high price increase. The backlash of the original is in full swing. It doesn’t even feel the same as it was. The packaging is all different. The taste is weird. The love that used to go into it is no longer around. It no longer feels *authentic*. It feels cheap and sad.

    It ends and closes just as soon as it arrived. Three months later a Thai restaurant opens up with inexpensive, somewhat palatable red curry. You’ve already seamless-ed it three times this week.

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      J.K. TrotterShaw Me A Good Time
      8/09/16 4:47pm

      Wow this is a good comment

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      KinkyTootsJ.K. Trotter
      8/09/16 5:04pm

      Way better than OP

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    AnastraceJ.K. Trotter
    8/09/16 3:23pm

    Are you talking about a terror attack? List of locations that would be good targets...

    The NYSE

    Lincoln Tunnel, or any of the major tunnels.

    Times square during any kind of event

    Grand Central Station

    Collapsing a subway tunnel

    I mean, there is no shortage of soft targets across the city.

    Knowing that stuff probably puts me on some kind of list. My dad taught me about target selection when it came to where the soviets would launch nuclear strikes at, or areas saboteurs would hit.

    Cold war kid training pays off sometimes.

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      IKeepForgettingMyScreennamesAnastrace
      8/09/16 3:27pm

      Can you imagine if they collapsed a tunnel - subway or otherwise? That would cripple the city. Particularly if it was on the Jersey side where Governor Numbnuts would fuck up the rebuilding efforts.

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      TheLostCosmonautAnastrace
      8/09/16 3:33pm

      It’s going to end up being all of the above. Smart money says a simultaneous attack taking out all major transit paths (tunnels/bridges) to trap all the civilians in Manhattan before launching more devastating attacks in select high occupancy areas. I guess I’ll be joining you on that list Anastrace.

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    Dave J.K. Trotter
    8/09/16 2:46pm

    Lambada, the Forbidden Dance? I think that’s already happened.

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      Sparky PolastryDave
      8/09/16 2:48pm

      Perhaps it was a thing so long ago it could maybe be a thing again?

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      Dave Sparky Polastry
      8/09/16 2:51pm

      All of this has happened before, all of this will happen again. Coming Summer of 2017, Lambada Rebooted. A film by Michael Bay.

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    Jordan SargentJ.K. Trotter
    8/09/16 3:17pm

    A Subway. the restaurant.

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      J.K. TrotterJordan Sargent
      8/09/16 4:45pm

      Interesting theory...

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    dothedewJ.K. Trotter
    8/09/16 2:47pm

    It’s already happening. And it is happening everywhere, and nowhere, at the same time.

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      Masshole Jamesdothedew
      8/09/16 2:53pm

      btw, I meant to give you an internet hug yesterday. Your kids destroying your life, while serving as a warning to me not to have kids, still made me very sad.

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      99Telep☺dpr☹blemsdothedew
      8/09/16 2:55pm
      GIF
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    Cylontater: Genital WhispererJ.K. Trotter
    8/09/16 2:47pm

    It already happened on Staten Island so everyone missed it.

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      Dave Cylontater: Genital Whisperer
      8/09/16 2:49pm

      Actually made things a little nicer afterwards.

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    99Telep☺dpr☹blemsJ.K. Trotter
    8/09/16 2:49pm

    It will happen in the Gowanus Canal and when it surfaces...may God have mercy on your soul.

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      Bashington99Telep☺dpr☹blems
      8/09/16 2:55pm

      Okay, but that is Art.

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      mtdrift99Telep☺dpr☹blems
      8/09/16 3:23pm

      Gahhh!

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