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FelixElixAndy Cush
8/01/16 10:59am
Hours after firefighters from the Colorado Springs Fire Department rescued Trump from the elevator, Trump announced from the stage at his rally that the Colorado Springs fire marshall didn’t know how to do his job and was “probably a Democrat,”

Holy crap! Who dumps on rescue personnel?
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  Misteaks were madeFelixElix
  8/01/16 11:03am
  The same guy that dumps on the family of a fallen service member.
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  duckinthefaceat250knotsFelixElix
  8/01/16 11:04am
  He was attacking the fire marshal for not allowing anyone else into the event not the elevator mishap. Trump’s incompetent people gave out more tickets than they had capacity, so of course that is the fire marshal’s fault.
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ScottRaphaelAndy Cush
8/01/16 10:55am
How did none of those people just reflexively start beating him to a bloody pulp? Who among us could resist in such a situation?
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  dvdoffScottRaphael
  8/01/16 10:58am
  Why? The utter humiliation he’s going to receive in the debates will be infinitely more satisfying than a standard physical beat down.
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  MBCockScottRaphael
  8/01/16 10:58am
  Wasn’t this the basis of M. Night Shyamaln’s movie “Devil” ?
  
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gilbertkittensAndy Cush
8/01/16 11:01am
Yeah, insulting the mothers of dead veterans and firefighters - that’s a winning electoral strategy. (Wait, is it?) My snark is thorougly confused.
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  Charitybgilbertkittens
  8/01/16 11:08am
  He also insults POWs, women, Mexicans, Muslims, blacks, Iowa Republicans (?!), people who use toilets (?!?) — basically he's taken shots at all biological life forms now, and he's slowly working his way to denigrating cadmium-based organisms.
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  Alaska FrambopolousCharityb
  8/01/16 11:11am
  Cadmium? Pretty sure all lifeforms are carbon based.
  
  ETA: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Outline_o…
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Richard M TysonAndy Cush
8/01/16 11:00am
If these people were real heroes Drumpf never would have made it out. Thanks a lot, losers.
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  DirktaniusRichard M Tyson
  8/01/16 11:12am
  I feel like if they would have ate him, they could have had a pretty good excuse.
  
  “We didn’t know how long we were going to be trapped so we drew straws.”
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  Richard M TysonDirktanius
  8/01/16 11:17am
  At least he could have “fallen” and hit his head really hard on someones luggage.
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stuckinthegreyswithyouAndy Cush
8/01/16 10:56am
Now our elevators aren’t even working. Thanks Obama!
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  Flying Squid (I hate me more than you do.)stuckinthegreyswithyou
  8/01/16 10:57am
  I thought only he could fix our problems, but he can’t even fix an elevator.
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  gilbertkittensstuckinthegreyswithyou
  8/01/16 11:02am
  “I’m so strong that I could have just lifted the elevator with my bare hands, but my people told me not to punch down.”
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Skipping along to our shared destructionAndy Cush
8/01/16 1:20pm
There were 11 people in that elevator. Two scenarios:

The elevator capacity was 10 people in which case these law and order assholes should be appropriately punished and fined to cover the expenses of their refusal to obey posted limits

Or

They were over the weight capacity of an elevator. With just 11 people. In a state where capacity is 300 lbs a person.

Are they assholes with no regard for safety rules or are they fat?

How fat you ask? Well, the old limit was 200 lbs per person. It went to 250, then 300. Because there’s big people and you take not the mean or median but like the 90th percentile and hope that you don’t get 10 of those fuckers at once. So, 11 or so people and they AVERAGED OUT at 90th percentile fat. That’s some large fucking people, especially for a group with at most one Samoan in it. Go ahead, go look at the photos of the group. One guy is a little darker than all the rest. And only one guy who is clearly heftier than the rest. Only the heftiest. Donald J. Trump.

Motherfucker is fat. Fat. As. Fuck.
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  HypnoToadSkipping along to our shared destruction
  8/01/16 1:30pm
  I’m certain I saw a story about this yesterday, alleging that they gave the elevator keys to some of the Trump minions. Just as good at elevator security as their boss is at deflecting questions. Wait, he’s actually pretty good at that! Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right...stuck in an elevator with Donald! That’s my idea of hell...
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  Skipping along to our shared destructionHypnoToad
  8/01/16 1:42pm
  Did you see the pic of them all? One guy half a shade darker than the rest and The Donald just a bit girthier than the rest. OMFG, they are all kinda fat, but he’s fucking HUGE. Like a grapefruit stuck on the oranges display kinda big.
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Low Information BoaterAndy Cush
8/01/16 10:59am
Was the elevator stalled on its way up or down? I need to know, for metaphorical reasons.
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  Masshole JamesLow Information Boater
  8/01/16 11:06am
  So you can make a sex joke? Here, let me make one for you...
  
  GIF
  
  (Before someone points out the obvious, yes, that dude in the gif is totally me.)
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  NostradumbassMasshole James
  8/01/16 8:32pm
  There is an old joke from the mid 1980s that goes...
  
  Trump gets into an elevator where there happens to be a young attractive woman
  
  “Oooooh Mr Trump would you like a blowjob?” She asks
  
  Trump replies without missing a beat “What’s in it for me?”
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NefertittiesAndy Cush
8/01/16 11:07am
Thirty minutes is kind of a long time to be a small space with a bunch of strangers. I would kill to know how he behaved during that time. Did he panic? Get angry? Was he pleasant or Trumpy? I need an interview with at least one person. You’d be doing god’s work, Andy. FIND THEM!
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  K5INGNefertitties
  8/01/16 11:13am
  I would be very surprised if any of them turned out to be strangers. Probably all Secret Service, security, and other upper members of his official party.
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  NefertittiesK5ING
  8/01/16 11:20am
  You’re a killer of dreams, man.
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Sonic Reducer 151Andy Cush
8/01/16 11:02am
Hey! How'd you know my life is shit?
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  Armageddon T. ThunderbirdSonic Reducer 151
  8/01/16 11:03am
  Open your blinds just a bit more, please and thank you.
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  Skipping along to our shared destructionSonic Reducer 151
  8/01/16 11:28am
  Huff enough of the Testors and your life will stop being shitty.
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AnastraceAndy Cush
8/01/16 11:16am
I knew it!

Hours after firefighters from the Colorado Springs Fire Department rescued Trump from the elevator, Trump announced from the stage at his rally that the Colorado Springs fire marshall didn’t know how to do his job and was “probably a Democrat,” because of an attendance limit the fire department had placed on the venue.

All the fire marshals are in on this! This goes deep man, maybe all the way to Otis!

It should have been obvious they were over the weight limit, because holy shit, have you seen his ego? Damn thing has it’s own zip code.
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  GrumpyEagleAnastrace
  8/01/16 11:41am
  Like every other government regulation, fire codes are just there to ruin people's fun.
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  Amy HousewineGrumpyEagle
  8/01/16 4:53pm
  Exactly like limits on elevator capacity! They sure showed The Man on that one.
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