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    Sparky PolastryRich Juzwiak
    8/15/16 1:34pm

    Dependency on hookup apps is taking people more quickly to a world free of going outdoors or actual social engagement. Ultimately, sex will be like the scene in Demolition Man, and all restaurants will be Taco Bell.

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      Hip Brooklyn StereotypeSparky Polastry
      8/15/16 1:37pm

      I’m still entirely confused regarding how to properly use the three seashells.

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      Sobchak SecuritySparky Polastry
      8/15/16 1:37pm

      Just like everything in life, sex is a game. Always finish first or you’re a big loser.

      Some people moan and yell or whatever when they perform coitus. I myself like to focus on winning and then scream “FIRST!!!” immediately upon climax.

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    Dave Rich Juzwiak
    8/15/16 1:33pm

    Being a middle aged straight dude, I can’t speak with authority. But from what I understand from people in the know you have the luxury of being able to de-app your romantic/sex life because of where you live. Out in the hinterlands, these are literally the only way to semi-safely connect with other like minded folks. While the cranky old fart me bemoans the digital dating platform, I have to respect what it has done for gay and lesbians far away from tolerant places.

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      Don't Judge Me I Swear I'm NiceDave
      8/15/16 2:03pm

      Yeah my friend grew up thinking he was the only gay guy in his small town and then he got plenty of fish and there were tons of gay people who were just not super out or just lived in the next township over.

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      ThrumbolioDave
      8/15/16 2:20pm

      I used to say “I’m so glad I found my wife before Tinder was a thing.”

      Now, amid a divorce, I find myself saying “For fuck’s sake, I’m going to have to make a fucking Tinder account, aren’t I?”

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    BobbySeriousRich Juzwiak
    8/15/16 1:26pm

    To the clinic?

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      Sparky PolastryBobbySerious
      8/15/16 1:32pm

      Tell him Ramon went to the clinic, and he should see the doctor before things start falling off the man....

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      SleazycheeksSparky Polastry
      8/15/16 1:38pm

      Don’t fall for the banana in the tailpipe.

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    Ray FosseRich Juzwiak
    8/15/16 1:30pm

    I think if you have an actual dependency on hook-up apps, you’ve already reached the place where hook-up apps are taking you. (That’s a loaded “us” in the headline, by the way. “We” aren’t dependent on them. Tons of people leave them alone.)

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      SleazycheeksRay Fosse
      8/15/16 1:42pm

      That’s a loaded “us” in the headline, by the way. “We” aren’t dependent on them. Tons of people leave them alone.

      You must not work in NYC media. When someone in the NYC media and his/her friends do something, it’s a shift in American culture.

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      Don't Judge Me I Swear I'm NiceSleazycheeks
      8/15/16 2:00pm

      I think grindr definitely is a shift in culture that is not exclusive to New York journalists. My small town in Canada deals with these exact issues pretty much.

      Maybe you’re not gay so you haven’t noticed it? Or maybe you’re already in a relationship? I mean even expanding to all couples, tinder is a massive cultural shift in dating. Currently every young couple I know started dating through some sort of online forum (POF, tinder, grindr, fetlife) so I also think age could really affect your perception of how common this is.

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    HangnailsRich Juzwiak
    8/15/16 1:55pm

    Just because you and your self-selected group of likeminded queens feel that all your activities are drenched in the stink of the zeitgeist doesn’t mean that there’s an actual problem. Most people use these apps for their intended purpose and don’t feel the need to write a “thought” piece about how terrible they are. The hallmark of the addict is obsession with the self. You might want to consider that for a bit.

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      gaybboy893Hangnails
      8/15/16 2:29pm

      You can’t really talk about gay apps without having a thorough discussion about the “no fats, no fems, no Asians” phenomenon. The experience of using such an app is going to be very different depending on your race and how fit you are. Ocampo’s comment is interesting, but between my black and Asian friends the consensus seems to be that apps dominated by white users lead to non-white users (with the exception of non-white users with extremely good looks) getting little to no responses.

      In fact, what may be happening is that gays are segregating themselves racially online in the same way that gay bars tend to be racially segregated.

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      Hello my name is MikeHangnails
      8/15/16 2:32pm

      Ummmm.....it might be nice to show a bit of respect to the fellow who wrote this piece. I mean, he’s obviously speaking from the heart here.

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    Tidal TownRich Juzwiak
    8/15/16 1:43pm

    What I find interesting as well is people who use platforms known to be just for hooking up in an attempt to find “real relationships” (the “if you want to hookup swipe left” people). Seems like a very square peg/round hole type of thing.

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      Hello my name is MikeTidal Town
      8/15/16 2:32pm

      Ummmm..... Perhaps one could get a hookup and a nice relationship could become the byproduct of that hookup.

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      Tidal TownHello my name is Mike
      8/15/16 6:09pm

      Entirely possible. My question was more like, since an app like Tinder is inherently shallow (sure you can fill in your “profile” but most users simply swipe based on the first picture that comes up) and generally had the moniker of being a hookup app, why did anyone (man or woman) go to the platform to try and find something that wasn’t that? That just seems odd to me.

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    Murry ChangRich Juzwiak
    8/15/16 1:30pm

    “At some point, I realized three hours had passed, and I still hadn’t moved from my couch or started my day.”

    Goddamn play some video games dude!

    And holy crap hooking up isn’t fun at all, go out and do something or read a book or smoke a joint.

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      The Shape of Punk to ComeMurry Chang
      8/15/16 1:33pm

      And holy crap hooking up isn’t fun at all, go out and do something or read a book or smoke a joint.

      or have sex with a book while playing a joint and smoking video games.

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      Hello my name is MikeMurry Chang
      8/15/16 1:34pm

      Ummm. Methinks the author gave us just a bit too much information about his habits.

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    JustActSurprisedRich Juzwiak
    8/15/16 2:43pm

    My experience with hook up apps (Grindr in particular) is that most do it for sex and attention seeking. You want to be wanted. You want to feel hot. And ultimately you want the power to reject other people. The fact that you list it as a distraction is telling. Hook up apps let the deeply insecure find validation both in their loneliness and wanting to be alone. Because those that have person lit issues often want to be alone for whatever reason (no one else is good enough, unable to commit, etc). I do think once you reach a certain age and haven't found someone but persist on these apps, perhaps the problem isn't them, it's you.

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      PoodletimeJustActSurprised
      8/15/16 4:13pm

      Gamified Eroticism: Gay Male ‘Social Networking’ Applications and Self-Pornography has got to be one of the best thesis titles ever. I think I would sign up for whatever PhD program he was in just to be able to write a paper with that title!

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      eager.ophiuchusPoodletime
      8/15/16 9:35pm

      That’s the perfect nutshell. The day I got rid of my Scruff profile was the day a hot local asked me for additional photos. I told him, you’ve already seen me: serious, smiling, clothed, shirtless, totally naked, dick soft, dick hard, and butt, and that’s all I’ve got because that’s literally everything. When can we actually talk? He said, well aren’t you using your phone right now? so you can take more pics now? I told him to go find real porn and said goodbye to the whole city. It’s exhausting. Before the age of cheap digital cameras, people actually chatted (online on PCs), but now it’s just wordless porn.

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    The Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabyStepsRich Juzwiak
    8/15/16 1:42pm

    I haven’t finished this piece (mostly because I have to get on with today’s business) but so far it is excellent!

    I wonder though, based on this piece (or what I have read of it so far) what would you say about the piece you wrote about that singer Sam what’s-his-name who you called (I believe) conservative because he . . . oh man, I don’t remember exactly what he was saying but it involved some aspect of the internet/apps that he felt was changing gay culture for the worse. Would you change or modify what you wrote in that piece?

    (I have to look that piece up again later today just to refresh my memory.)

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      CnslrNachosThe Ghost of ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ AKA BabySteps
      8/15/16 1:49pm

      http://gawker.com/sam-smiths-fuc…

      And... Don't hold your breath

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    Paul DimitrovRich Juzwiak
    8/15/16 5:31pm

    Here’s the real question regarding Rich:

    Is his Grindr profile a face pic, a shirtless torso, or the ever-popular gym-selfie-in-mirror?

    My bet is that it’s not a bathroom—much less public bathroom—selfie. But, that said, I DO bet that it’s likely a shirtless torso, and that the profile text explicitly delineates those who are acceptable based on their body fat percentage.

    Ugh: Sorry Rich, but you’re just an awful “gay writer.”

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      spazmaticPaul Dimitrov
      8/15/16 11:30pm

      I don’t know about Grindr but on Scruff his face is clearly visible.

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      Paul Dimitrovspazmatic
      8/16/16 1:55am

      Lmao. I see.

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