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    alpacalipsnowAshley Feinberg
    7/20/16 9:21pm

    You thought it was controversial when Melania plagiarized Michelle. Shit’s gonna hit the fan when it’s leaked that Ted “Zodiac” Cruz’s speech is all written in letters cut out of magazines and pasted onto the back of a Campbell’s Chunky Soup label.

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      jrfunkensteinalpacalipsnow
      7/20/16 10:24pm

      That would still make it the most coherent shit you’ll hear all week at this fucking Nazi laboratory.

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      alpacalipsnowjrfunkenstein
      7/20/16 10:28pm

      Hey, now! Let’s not slander the GOP.

      They’re way past the laboratory phase.

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    Flying Squid (I hate me more than you do.)Ashley Feinberg
    7/20/16 9:26pm

    Literally every single person who spoke tonight so far with the exception of Laura Ingraham desperately needs speech and elocution lessons.

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      justaburner9Flying Squid (I hate me more than you do.)
      7/20/16 9:37pm

      Ingraham is a Dartmouth alum w/ UVa JD. Smart cookie.

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      Flying Squid (I hate me more than you do.)justaburner9
      7/20/16 9:37pm

      Could’ve fooled me.

      But she speaks well.

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    Bolivia Newton JohnAshley Feinberg
    7/20/16 9:31pm

    This how democracy dies. To a smattering of applause and thundering cholesterol.

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      suppiluliumasBolivia Newton John
      7/20/16 9:32pm

      And some really awesome dancing.

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      Bolivia Newton Johnsuppiluliumas
      7/20/16 9:34pm

      I think this version is more fitting:

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    sievetronixAshley Feinberg
    7/20/16 9:21pm

    The speakers just get crazier and crazier

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      Taibhsesievetronix
      7/20/16 9:53pm

      I am laughing uncontrollably at this.

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      Mazbrakinsievetronix
      7/20/16 10:45pm

      The Babadook ran P.R. for Trump Tower in 1998 before resigning to wear a top hat and kill people

      The best part is how plausible this could be.

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    김치전!Ashley Feinberg
    7/20/16 9:21pm

    You guys, I am pretty sure that at night when the moon is full, Scott Walker’s bald spot must be locked in a windowless room lest it go Fleshwalking.

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      YttriumAshley Feinberg
      7/20/16 9:40pm

      I see words coming out of his mouth. Yet someone his eyes are screaming “THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY SHOW, MINE, MINE, MINE”

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        Bolivia Newton JohnYttrium
        7/20/16 9:50pm

        Of course, he’d cap off his show with a 72 hour address to an empty convention hall.

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      JohnTChanceAshley Feinberg
      7/20/16 9:38pm

      I hope Ted announces who his 2020 VP will be.

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        YttriumAshley Feinberg
        7/20/16 9:46pm

        Ashley trying to catch a Pokemon on Ted Cruz..... how i picture that

        GIF
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          YttriumAshley Feinberg
          7/20/16 10:07pm

          Watching Trump sit in the private box, he just looks sooo happy. Not like “yes we did it happy” more like “I love everyone talking about me and praising me, this whole arena is for me” happy.

          The only thing this is missing is the gladiator fights to the death for him.

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            EatTheCheeseNicholsonAshley Feinberg
            7/20/16 9:41pm

            Ted can’t go 45 seconds without invoking his daughters in a vaguely creepy and exploitative way, can he?

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              PaperSnowGhostEatTheCheeseNicholson
              7/20/16 10:12pm

              Trump’s got him beat on that too, tho.

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