Discussion
  • Read More
    MuscatoHamilton Nolan
    7/12/16 9:54am

    Counterpoint: Dead shopping malls MIGHT be our only refugee in the possibly imminent zombie apocalypse.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      Sean BrodyMuscato
      7/12/16 9:58am

      Counterpoint: Dead shopping malls MIGHT be our only refugee in the possibly imminent zombie apocalypse.


      Get to the 2nd level. Block the stairs. Job done.

      Wait, which zombies?
      Romero? Walking Dead? 28 Days? WWZ?

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      ArdenSean Brody
      7/12/16 10:02am

      Walking dead zombies? No problem. 28 days or WWZ (the movie)? I’m turning the gun on myself in the first five minutes.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    Hip Brooklyn StereotypeHamilton Nolan
    7/12/16 9:54am

    I’m reminded of Romero’s Dawn of the Dead (the best movie ever, remakes be damned):

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      TheLongtimeLurkerHip Brooklyn Stereotype
      7/12/16 10:01am

      You... you guys talking about the original Dawn of the Dead?

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      EvenBaggierTrousers4Hip Brooklyn Stereotype
      7/12/16 10:01am

      I dunno. This one was fun and campy, but the first still can give you a tingle. And that ending tho...

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    PsonicPsunspotHamilton Nolan
    7/12/16 10:01am

    I went to a shopping mall last week to buy a dishwasher from Sears. It was like The Stand in there—the place was completely, eerily empty.

    A few days later, I realized that my plumber would be at my house on Friday, so I didn’t need Sears to install the dishwasher. That sent me on a three-day phone tree nightmare in which I was ping-ponged around several different departments while half a dozen men, all named “Ron,” tried to find my order, void the installation fee, and schedule delivery. Sears has, it seems, set up Chinese walls between all of its departments; in the end, nobody could help me do what I needed to do, which was to schedule delivery only of my motherfucking dishwasher.

    I was told several times to call the store where I had made the purchase. Each time, the phone rang and rang and rang and then sent me to voicemail.

    I finally reached Ron #7 by calling the “Orders” department (who picked up immediately—thanks, Consumerist, for that tip!) and told him that I had an order to cancel. He told me that he couldn’t help with that but that he would connect me with the store where I had made the purchase. I screamed “Noooooo!”—I must have sounded like little Timmy as he was falling down the well—and asked to speak to a supervisor who was finally—finally!—maybe able to cancel my order. (I don’t know if the order’s actually been cancelled; I received an email from Sears yesterday that said—and I am not making this up—“We see that the you have requested for the cancellation and refund. We would like to inform you that we are working on the same,” which is hardly even fucking barely-passable English. I’ve got Citibank ready to pull the trigger on a chargeback if those fucks don’t get their shit together.)

    In the meantime, I went down to my local, family-owned appliance store where I bought the same dishwasher for the same price and at which Karen, the manager, told me that I could schedule delivery only for this Friday between 8-9 AM.

    The moral of this story is that malls, and the stores that anchor them, can suck it.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      burlivesleftnutPsonicPsunspot
      7/12/16 10:04am

      Cool. But why didn’t you just go back to the store?

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      PsonicPsunspotburlivesleftnut
      7/12/16 10:05am

      Initially, I wanted to try to save myself the 45-minute drive. The cheapest man truly does spend the most.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    Tidal TownHamilton Nolan
    7/12/16 10:06am

    Just reuse old large buildings in interesting (“interesting” ?) ways; back in Alabama two breweries took over an old middle school and turned it into a brewery/retail/restaurant campus. Up here in Nashville an old mall on its last legs turned an old Macy’s (I believe) into Nissan’s new corporate building for their upcoming move.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      EvenBaggierTrousers4Tidal Town
      7/12/16 10:13am

      Seriously, a brewery is a great idea. That was no doubt bring folks in. Throw in a decent restaurant (no chain shit. Sorry Applebees...) and stores would be clamoring to get in there.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      uualternateEvenBaggierTrousers4
      7/12/16 10:18am

      Applebees deserves no apologies. They know what they’ve done.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    Flying Squid (I hate me more than you do.)Hamilton Nolan
    7/12/16 10:00am

    Will the fact that kids no longer “hang out” in mall food courts in hope of mating be the thing that ultimately brings down our economy once again?

    Pokemon Go to the rescue!

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      DR honkhonkhonk, tyvmFlying Squid (I hate me more than you do.)
      7/12/16 10:05am

      Where DO teenagers hang out these days? When I was wee, it was all about the mall, Borders, and Barnes and Noble, and we went there because there were fuck-all other places to chill out all unstructured-like. If there are no malls, what’s there now?

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      Flying Squid (I hate me more than you do.)DR honkhonkhonk, tyvm
      7/12/16 10:07am

      Around here, there’s still a ton of them at the mall, so I have no idea what this article is talking about.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    Sean BrodyHamilton Nolan
    7/12/16 9:54am

    I don’t love how the economy is structured but it seems perverse to fervently wish for it to collapse so we can restructure it in a Pikettyian utopia.


    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      StenchofaburnerSean Brody
      7/12/16 10:06am

      It’s the secular version of the Christian’s Apocalypse. I am pretty leftist (Euro socialist, to be more precise) and I do fantasize about such collapse every now and then and immediately realize I’d be on the losing end because when the inevitable riots and looting begin, I’d most likely be trampled to death or starve. I read somewhere that since times immemorial humans have been fantasizing with these doomsday scenarios. Some of us with no religion, are probably inclined towards the Pikkettyian utopia instead of the fire and brimstone.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      TimF101Sean Brody
      7/12/16 10:10am

      The second part of your sentence is hilarious. I love how people (not you) who dream of wrecking things imagine that their specific better thing will rise up to take its place. Usually when you break a system it stays broken, and then something worse happens.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    Fred SmithHamilton Nolan
    7/12/16 9:55am

    I’m trying to think when was the last time I had an Orange Julius and then browsed at Sam Goody. I’m pretty sure Clinton was still in office.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      EvenBaggierTrousers4Fred Smith
      7/12/16 10:15am

      I used to work at a mall and used to go to Orange Julius almost every day for lunch. I don’t know why I though that shit was great but there I was. Then it was off to B Dalton’s to look at books for a couple of minutes, past Chess King and back to the crappy clothing store I worked where I was the lousiest salesman on the planet.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      OKTOBERFISTEvenBaggierTrousers4
      7/12/16 10:25am

      CHESS KING! The 80s :'(

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    Misteaks were madeHamilton Nolan
    7/12/16 10:06am

    We had a dead mall near us (Granite Run mall outside Media, PA). Mostly empty and not updated since the early 90's. It’s going through a major redevelopment right now. The anchor and outlying stores are staying but the interior will be a nice open air section with outdoor dining and shopping options, condos ringing the outer property and a generally more upscale feel for a once great shopping setting.

    I’m looking forward to such a grand transformation.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      BrianGriffinMisteaks were made
      7/12/16 10:12am

      We have one near where I live in PA. Thing is, it's fucking Pennsylvania, so there's only like two weeks a year when you can go shopping outside comfortably.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      facwMisteaks were made
      7/12/16 10:21am

      So the plan is to tear down the middle of the mall and replace it with parking?

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks to Sultan Mehmed IV of the Ottoman EmpireHamilton Nolan
    7/12/16 9:59am

    Shopping Malls, or future TRUMP™ Detention Center and Fiscal Greatness Reprogramming Academies?

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      BrianGriffinReply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks to Sultan Mehmed IV of the Ottoman Empire
      7/12/16 10:12am

      DONT GIVE HIM IDEAS.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    HaighaHamilton Nolan
    7/12/16 11:16am

    CRE has been a concern going back to the mid- to late-2000s. There have been any number of analysts saying that we’re already overbuilt, stores that closed sometimes stayed empty for years (or still are). My mother worked in a large regional bank’s CRE department. They were pretty conservative - to the point where after they got bought by a larger bank and operated as a subsidiary, they were the single bright spot in the larger bank’s recession shitstorm. But they were looking at the trends and getting concerned back in 2008.

    I live in an area of northern NJ where housing prices are astronomical and small, locally-owned businesses are getting priced out of downtown areas.
    The vacant commercial property on the edge or just outside central business districts could be rezoned as residential, but the towns don’t want more residents - and certainly not renters, heaven forfend! And they don’t want to give up on the notion of someday being able to rake in commercial property taxes on those properties. The owners typically appeal the commercial property tax assessments on vacant land.

    And there’s been a ton of consolidation of ownership on downtown commercial properties in a lot of towns, so when something is vacant because the rent got jacked up, the owner (who might own a dozen other buildings) won’t be in a big hurry to lower the rent to get a business in there. So the rents just spiral up, and downtowns have vacant storefronts.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      LooseSEALHaigha
      7/12/16 11:41am

      I like in an upscale community in SE PA. We have 4 shopping centers that are about 30% filled right now. One of them the manager is pricing out current retailers because he only wants high end retailers....but the hig end retailers are all on the main street where people actually walk around and socialize. I think he’s going to end up with a shopping center with a japanese restaurant and a pier one and nothing else.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      notfromvenusHaigha
      7/12/16 2:52pm

      It always astonishes me when a landlord would rather let a place sit vacant for 5 years than negotiate a lower rent or do any work to the unit. I can understand if it’s like a gas station that was abandoned for lack of demand, because those need a lot of work to tear out and turn into something else. But for a strip mall, just fucking fix it up a bit and lower your rent. It’s better to make 75% of the rent you want than 0%.

      Reply
      <