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    Flying Squid (I hate me more than you do.)Rich Juzwiak
    7/06/16 11:41am

    Does anyone really think there is any point to this movie other than putting Blake Lively in a bikini?

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      Dave Flying Squid (I hate me more than you do.)
      7/06/16 11:44am

      Was there a need for another point beyond this?

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      Flying Squid (I hate me more than you do.)Dave
      7/06/16 11:46am

      No, not really. It just would be nice if they were honest about it.

      For example, I saw the movie 1408 yesterday.

      It starred John Cusack as a writer who lost his daughter to illness trapped in a Kafkaesque hotel room which could be a Dante’s Inferno-like metaphor for Hell. You know what it should have been called?

      This Movie is Boring. Don’t Watch it.

      I’m not asking for good movies, just honest ones.

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    Sean BrodyRich Juzwiak
    7/06/16 11:49am

    Rich, do you have to Poindexter the shit out of every fun summer movie that comes out?
    First the Purge and now this?
    Can we expect a 2,000 page thinkpiece on how amnesia really works when the new Jason Bourne movie is released.
    (You can have Still Bourne as a headline for free)

    Come on, man. Leave me my popcorn flicks. Goddamnit.

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      NeridqeSean Brody
      7/06/16 12:13pm

      ..the shit out of every fun summer movie that comes out?

      HOT, HOT, HOT!!

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      optimus_rhymeSean Brody
      7/06/16 12:49pm

      Im glad I wasn’t the only one having flashbacks to the silly Purge review. We get it. Rich doesn’t like movies that shouldn’t be taken seriously.

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    PredatrixRich Juzwiak
    7/06/16 11:43am

    It’s the smaht shahks you really gotta look out for.

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      PredatrixPredatrix
      7/06/16 11:45am

      They can bite you wicked hahd.

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      mrblergPredatrix
      7/06/16 11:45am

      Never Forget

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    Cam/ronRich Juzwiak
    7/06/16 11:47am

    The Greatest Monster Movie Scene of All Time:

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      DidYouReallyRespondToMyComment?Cam/ron
      7/06/16 11:53am

      So, have none of those people flown before, or did they not make the “return your seat to its upright position” announcement?

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      EvenBaggierTrousers4Cam/ron
      7/06/16 11:54am

      I call bullshit.

      There’s not one crying baby on that plane.

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    GeorgeGeoffersonLivesRich Juzwiak
    7/06/16 11:52am

    Nothing Can Convince Me That Blake Lively’s Life Is Worth More Than a Great White Shark’s

    See I think it’s the complete opposite.

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      StorminMike2000GeorgeGeoffersonLives
      7/06/16 11:57am

      I gotta agree.

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      Rum RaisinGeorgeGeoffersonLives
      7/06/16 12:00pm

      Damn right. I would fight any shark for Blake Lively

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    Pink SkullRich Juzwiak
    7/06/16 11:55am

    Blake Lively’s life is no more important than a picture of a shark.

    Blake Lively is the human embodiment of a rice cake.

    Her acting cannot be described as wooden, because you can make stuff out of wood. Also, sometimes the wood might have a really interesting grain to it.

    Fun fact: If you order a Blake Lively at a bar, the bartender will give you a glass of water, no ice.

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      Rum RaisinPink Skull
      7/06/16 12:01pm

      You take that back, good sir. Or there will be hell to pay

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      Pink SkullRum Raisin
      7/06/16 12:12pm

      There is no heaven or hell with Blake Lively.

      Only purgatory.

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    Goes To ElevenRich Juzwiak
    7/06/16 11:48am

    Wait, wait, wait. How in the hell is this movie 74% “Fresh”?? My wife, who loves bad movies, went and saw this and said it was fucking terrible; if she thinks it’s bad, it must be really, really bad. And besides, isn’t “starring Blake Lively” shorthand for “this movie probably sucks!”????

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      ReburnsABurningReturnsGoes To Eleven
      7/06/16 1:13pm

      Because as far as a survival flick goes, other critics seem to be saying that it does it’s job just fine. Lively may be an empty vessel of a human being, but she’s actually not a bad actor.

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    EvenBaggierTrousers4Rich Juzwiak
    7/06/16 11:46am

    This image of the great white as a man-eating monster is one of those lies that our culture loves, like humans only use 10 percent of their brains,

    Great. Thanks for reminding me I watched - BY CHOICE - that fucking movie “Lucy” last night. Ironically, the writers of that movie only used 5 percent of their brains.

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      Gawquera de Tokers TownEvenBaggierTrousers4
      7/06/16 12:09pm

      I tapped out at 20 minutes.

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    ReburnsABurningReturnsRich Juzwiak
    7/06/16 12:35pm

    The great white, at least, is an endangered or at least vulnerable apex predator, while the world depends on Blake Lively to do literally nothing but take up space while being blonde. We already have an excess of those kind of people on this planet, in the millions. If I have to choose a side, I cannot help but wonder: What’s one less?

    The same could probably be said for movie critics. And really, most other people.

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      JohnConRich Juzwiak
      7/06/16 11:47am

      How could anyone with any sense of marine biology (or sense, period) become absorbed by The Shallows’s tainted water?

      I mean, what?

      The Times’ takedown piece beat you to the punch, and is deliciously bitchy.

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        EvanrudeJohnsonJohnCon
        7/06/16 11:52am

        Marine Biologist you say

        GIF
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        JohnConEvanrudeJohnson
        7/06/16 1:03pm

        If the screenwriters of BLAKE LIVELY SHARKSPLOITATION EVENT MOVIE had any sense they would have incorporated that iconic speech into the film. Alas.

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