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    Armageddon T. ThunderbirdRich Juzwiak
    7/01/16 2:10pm

    I would like someone to come over and explain what the fuck woke baes are, but I’ll probably bite the messenger.

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      Trumpmato TrollArmageddon T. Thunderbird
      7/01/16 2:15pm

      I’ll explain what “woke baes” is. Bad, cliched, hackneyed writing is what it is.

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      ThatFatScatCat fucking loves muddy puddlesArmageddon T. Thunderbird
      7/01/16 2:21pm

      As someone riding the line of being a millennial I should probably know this, but uh... well...

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    ReburnsABurningReturnsRich Juzwiak
    7/01/16 2:17pm

    As the credits rolled, the song booming in the theater was David Bowie’s “I’m Afraid of Americans.” Indeed.

    C’mon Rich, they’re teenaged boys. They clap at movies like Transformers. The last emotion you should feel when seeing them do that is fear.

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      ThatFatScatCat fucking loves muddy puddlesReburnsABurningReturns
      7/01/16 2:23pm

      I mostly just feel a combination of rage and sadness.

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      ReburnsABurningReturnsThatFatScatCat fucking loves muddy puddles
      7/01/16 2:27pm

      Why though? They’re teenaged boys. Their sense of humor and what is good in life is typically guided by insanely out of control hormones and peer pressure.

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    MattRich Juzwiak
    7/01/16 2:05pm

    The Purge is one in a long line of horror movie premises that works well as a singular film but becomes harder to swallow and dumber with each successive sequel.

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      Bruce SteeverMatt
      7/01/16 2:08pm

      “The Purge is one in a long line of... movies... that work well as a singular film but...”

      FTFY

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      Masshole JamesMatt
      7/01/16 2:09pm

      The second one sucked but this one looks good! It doesn’t even seem that far-fetched anymore, LOL! I imagine we’re just two or three elections away from the kind of libertarian hell-hole that The Purge takes place in.

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    CascadeHawkRich Juzwiak
    7/01/16 2:11pm

    It’s one of those movies like Idiocracy that people will sardonically reference whenever they see something in real life that bugs them. “Maybe WE need a Purge,” they’ll tweet perhaps following it up with a “SMDH” to drive the point home.

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      MyNomdePlumeisPaperMateCascadeHawk
      7/01/16 2:39pm

      It’s one of those movies like Idiocracy that people will sardonically reference whenever they see something in real life that bugs them.

      You will definitely not be invited to hear HamNo extol the virtues of a carbon tax at his many gatherings this 4th of July weekend.

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      CascadeHawkMyNomdePlumeisPaperMate
      7/01/16 2:54pm

      Give my regards and enjoy the hummus.

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    IAMBlastedBiggsLostBurnerRich Juzwiak
    7/01/16 2:33pm

    The thing I can never get past with these films is the idea that if there really were such a thing, and all crime was legal, we would see horrors inflicted that would psychologically cripple most sane humans. Oh, and also the idea that our civic infrastructure would be utterly destroyed, thus practically breaking the thin filaments holding together the global geo-political-economic structure.

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      mrblergIAMBlastedBiggsLostBurner
      7/01/16 2:59pm

      I always imagined it’d be opposite. You’d get a few murders, probably hate crimes, but the bulk would be stealing, vandalism and piracy, both online and in water.

      Just imagine the Great Lakes, full of pirates!

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      LalarooIAMBlastedBiggsLostBurner
      7/01/16 3:18pm

      Absolutely! And to my knowledge this franchise has never brought up the specter of child rape, which is something I think of when I hear about the concept of everything being legal for one day. Would we really stand for legal pedophilia? I think we’d stand for legal murder a lot sooner.

      Also, there are murderers EVERYWHERE, right? And the non-murderers are in constant danger? But then how can the murderers just dance around and be publicly murdering without being murdered by other murderers?

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    Misteaks were madeRich Juzwiak
    7/01/16 2:15pm

    Woke and bae.

    Two words never more deserving for the ash heap of history.

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      GoGoGadgetBurnerMisteaks were made
      7/01/16 3:34pm

      Can I nominate ‘yaaaaaassss’ and all of its various and awful varieties?

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      Misteaks were madeGoGoGadgetBurner
      7/01/16 3:57pm

      I mean really, was there a need to complicate “yes”?

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    ninjajuicerRich Juzwiak
    7/01/16 2:13pm

    I like Rick & Morty’s version better. At least it’s believable on an alien planet, it’s not quite believable here. Didn’t watch the first two and not gonna start with this garbage.

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      boaboaboatengtengtengninjajuicer
      7/01/16 2:15pm

      Plus, I bet this film doesn’t have them killing people to “Feels Good” by Tony! Toni! Toné!

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      Sean Brodyninjajuicer
      7/01/16 2:21pm

      I like Rick & Morty’s version better. Didn’t watch the first two

      You like it better than the thing you haven’t seen?

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    fighting polish is David Schwimmer as Rob Kardashian SrRich Juzwiak
    7/01/16 2:13pm

    The Purge 4: Securities Fraud

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      Sparky Polastryfighting polish is David Schwimmer as Rob Kardashian Sr
      7/01/16 2:43pm

      ‘The Purge 4: Securities Fraud’

      The Legend of Curly’s Gold

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      Charitybfighting polish is David Schwimmer as Rob Kardashian Sr
      7/01/16 3:08pm

      If all crime is legal, why doesn't anyone try one of those crimes? They should do a short film about a buttoned up guy whose darkest fantasy is indulged on Purge night — driving out into the suburbs and doing illegal u turns over and over until, covered in sweat and other fluids, he drives back home and parks in front of a hydrant.

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    Cam/ronRich Juzwiak
    7/01/16 2:08pm

    Eh, exploitation flicks rarely have meaningful Important Political Statements.

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      Flying Squid (I hate me more than you do.)Cam/ron
      7/01/16 2:29pm

      At least that movie had a great song.

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      Netflix and ShillCam/ron
      7/01/16 4:19pm

      Does the movie explain how someone under 35 can be president? My pocket Constitution says that’s the minimum age.

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    humanSuitcaseRich Juzwiak
    7/01/16 2:17pm

    This movie is a deep dive into a shallow pool and watching it is slightly less pleasurable than breaking your neck (I’m guessing).

    “Twwigga wahmin plees.” Joni spits out conté crayon, coughs. “I said, ‘trigger warning please.’”

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      ReburnsABurningReturnshumanSuitcase
      7/01/16 2:19pm

      You’re terrible.

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      humanSuitcaseReburnsABurningReturns
      7/01/16 2:24pm

      Thank you.

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