Kinja reply list

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Major Lazer Power BlazerKelly Faircloth
6/30/16 1:03pm
hey FDA- FUCK YOU. i’ve eaten about 1,00,000 pounds of raw cookie dough and i’m still standing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

raw cookie dough >>>>>> cookies

raw brownie batter >>>>>> brownies
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  puzzlepieceMajor Lazer Power Blazer
  6/30/16 1:04pm
  💪🏼
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  IHaveThoughts Thinks 2016 Has No ChillMajor Lazer Power Blazer
  6/30/16 1:05pm
  Seriously though, why does baking remove the deliciousness?
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DaisyLadyKelly Faircloth
6/30/16 1:12pm
If the FDA would like to recommend a better way to eat my feelings I’d love to hear it.
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  darleeeeeene aka deraaiilleeeeeeneDaisyLady
  6/30/16 1:13pm
  I seriously laughed out loud at this....hahahahahah
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  DuckCoverRollDaisyLady
  6/30/16 1:20pm
  You win
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ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ : Riot GRRR is RUNNING WILDKelly Faircloth
6/30/16 1:22pm
But this time it’s not the eggs, though. It’s the prospect of E. coli-contaminated flour.

Actually, it’s usually the flour that’s the problem. I think all of the past several major outbreaks involving cookie dough have been linked to the flour, because flour is a raw food product itself and unlike eggs, which are often pasteurized, not heat treated. Although I believe more companies are heat treating the flour they use for cookie dough.
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  Sipowitzʕ•ᴥ•ʔ : Riot GRRR is RUNNING WILD
  6/30/16 1:42pm
  There you go. Bein’ all sciency and shit.
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  Kelly Fairclothʕ•ᴥ•ʔ : Riot GRRR is RUNNING WILD
  6/30/16 1:54pm
  wow, my whole life is a lie
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ZabellaKelly Faircloth
6/30/16 1:04pm
The flour currently in my kitchen was purchased at least one move ago. Last time I moved was 2014, so my flour’s clean. Bring on the cookie dough!
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  Snacky_OnassisZabella
  6/30/16 1:14pm
  Have you ever heard of flour weevils? I hadn’t either...until I had. :(
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  Ladyheatherlee 2016 EditionSnacky_Onassis
  6/30/16 1:17pm
  It can also just go rancid. Eww.
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alter_egoKelly Faircloth
6/30/16 1:06pm

GIF

.
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  KnopeOutalter_ego
  6/30/16 1:14pm
  
  GIF
  
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  ad infinitumalter_ego
  6/30/16 1:22pm
  Goddammit, I should have scrolled down before i used this GIF...
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SipowitzKelly Faircloth
6/30/16 1:07pm
The FDA can kiss my fat white ass.
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  Snacky_OnassisSipowitz
  6/30/16 1:16pm
  fat ass? get yourself on that cookie dough diet!
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  SipowitzSnacky_Onassis
  6/30/16 1:40pm
  I can sweat, shit, and puke 15 lbs in a weekend with a good bout of e coli.
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MajesticSeaFlapFlapKelly Faircloth
6/30/16 1:10pm
I’ve had e-coli.

Cookie dough is great - BUT NO FUCKING THANK YOU.
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  SpeakingAsAMuseMajesticSeaFlapFlap
  6/30/16 1:15pm
  I never had e. coli but I had bad stomach flus and the upside is losing weight without any effort whatsoever. So cookie dough + possibility of shedding 3 lbs makes the potential diarrhea worth it.
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  MajesticSeaFlapFlapSpeakingAsAMuse
  6/30/16 1:26pm
  No, no nononoono NOOOOOOOOOOO!
  
  Not worth it. Its not just diarrhea. Its a fucking nightmare of fever / vomiting / then diarrhea - then OMG IS THAT BLOOD - holy shit I am going to die. Middle of the night trip to the ER (while vomiting/trying not to shit on oneself) All culminating in getting a horrendously painful antibiotic shot in your ass (by a cute Dr who is seriously seeing you at your very worst) all while sobbing because your stomach will not stop cramping.
  
  Nope. No cookie dough for me or anyone in my family.
  
  To top it off I was 10 maybe 12 and an ebola outbreak had been all over the news. I kept hearing people say e-coli and I thought I was dying of EBOLA.
  
  Edit: I didn’t even get it from cookie dough. Ice cream was the culprit.
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accordingtoKelly Faircloth
6/30/16 1:31pm
Ok, so if you did something like…microwaved the flour for 30 seconds, would that work?
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  Elizabeth Martelaccordingto
  6/30/16 1:37pm
  following for response
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  iElvis is Now Funded by Peter Thielaccordingto
  6/30/16 2:10pm
  I doubt it. It needs to be heated to >140 degrees for a while, and I would not be confident that you could manage this properly in a microwave.
  
  As a general rule, proper sterilization is more complicated than people think. You’re probably not washing your hands correctly either.
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Rebel GirlKelly Faircloth
6/30/16 1:32pm
Other than ice cream, where can one get safe cookie dough for eating?
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  madmadammimRebel Girl
  6/30/16 1:52pm
  I wish some ice cream company would make cookie dough ice cream, hold the ice cream. The current iteration of cookie dough ice cream turns me into a gross immature kid, because I eat all of the ice cream first, and save the cookie dough for the end to eat in one glob.
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  Sunshine is my Spirit AnimalRebel Girl
  6/30/16 1:54pm
  make your own eggless cookie dough?
  
  ETA: apparently, I should read articles...whoops. Ignore me.
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darleeeeeene aka deraaiilleeeeeeneKelly Faircloth
6/30/16 1:07pm
all the middle finger emojis

GIF

GIF

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  Scotlover will be Scotpuffdarleeeeeene aka deraaiilleeeeeene
  6/30/16 3:55pm
  Right? You don’t OWN me, FDA.
  
  GIF
  
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