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    FIGJAMLauren Evans
    6/29/16 9:42pm

    Someone needs to diagram this out because I don’t know what happened here. I think the chain of events is:

    1. Guy rapes girl
    2. Guy decides to go visit girl at boyfriends house
    3. Guy gets beat up by girl and boyfriend
    4. Guy goes on a drive and gets high with girl and boyfriend
    5. Guy decides to call girl a whore
    6. Boyfriend says he needs guys help fixing car
    7. Boyfriend stabs guy and chops off his head
    8. Some previously unknown person drives around in rapist’s car and blows the whole story wide open?

    While the obvious moral of the story here is “don’t rape”, I feel like there’s something else to be learned here. Something along the lines of “if you’re going to kill a rapist, don’t get anyone else involved” or maybe “if you’re going to kill a rapist, don’t get high with him first”.

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      Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the SnarkFIGJAM
      6/29/16 9:46pm

      I’m confused though. Did the guy rape her? The AP article says he “suspected” the other guy had raped her. I mean, it’s one thing if the guy actually did rape her, but we’re talking about a group of meth heads here. There’s questions of verisimilitude all around...

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      Flying SquidFIGJAM
      6/29/16 9:47pm

      Why isn’t “don’t murder people” not your “something else to be learned here?”

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    chritter is a nocturnal feminist mancatfishLauren Evans
    6/29/16 9:32pm

    Okay, let’s go over this once more:

    1. Don’t murder people
    2. If you insist on murdering people, no chopping off heads, it’s showy and degrading
    3. Lay off the meth
    4. Always wear your seatbelt

    Clear?

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      paultoeschritter is a nocturnal feminist mancatfish
      6/29/16 9:38pm

      Also: don’t rape.

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      MalMalMalMalMalchritter is a nocturnal feminist mancatfish
      6/29/16 9:39pm

      Yes. But let's add no raping people too.

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    Adrastra predicts "Low Key" title for Taylor's new albumLauren Evans
    6/29/16 9:31pm

    That was a ride from beginning to end.

    Also, that must have taken some commitment. I can’t imagine decapitation with a knife would be a quick endeavor.

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      iseedeaddaleksAdrastra predicts "Low Key" title for Taylor's new album
      6/29/16 9:33pm

      Seriously. God, my life is boring in comparison.

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      Adrastra predicts "Low Key" title for Taylor's new albumiseedeaddaleks
      6/29/16 9:35pm

      He had the ganas.

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    Lannister HandjobLauren Evans
    6/29/16 9:31pm

    I’m just not sure I believe anything after “he agreed we could tie him with rope and beat him” because.. What?

    And then the three smoked a bunch of weed and meth together because NBD. The final altercation was over words? Yeah.... Ok.

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      MalloryKnocksLannister Handjob
      6/29/16 9:35pm

      I sort of believe it. Maybe he was after some sort of reconciliation? Volunteered to do penance? Also, meth is a hell of a drug.

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      caperclawLannister Handjob
      6/29/16 9:42pm

      “Hey guys... you wanna get some drugs with me??”

      “Yeah, man! ...I mean... only if we can tie you up first with this rope.”

      “I dunno that seems kinda weird...”

      “We’ll get weed AND meth!”

      “Oh cool!”

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    Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the SnarkLauren Evans
    6/29/16 9:55pm

    Given that heavy meth use is involved, probably the only completely/verifiably true part of this story is the decapitation.

    My mom, a heavy drug user, used to come up with all sorts of shitty stories. She was once tied up and forced to use drugs, Tarantino-style, when she went on a bender. Except she wasn’t. She smoked a bunch of crack, got herpes from some random dude, gave it to her long-term boyfriend, and then blamed his best friend (and eventually ruined their childhood-based friendship.) Every man in her life had assaulted her, myself excluded.

    I’m biased, I get it, but I don’t completely buy any of this story other than someone got the Louis XVI treatment.

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      Lannister HandjobAri Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark
      6/29/16 10:14pm

      Star for... I don't know. Compassion. Be well, Ari.

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      Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the SnarkLannister Handjob
      6/29/16 10:15pm

      Hahaha. Once I got her out of my life it was awesome. I’m well, just... can’t have her around. I’m just saying that drug users are not reliable narrators. :-/

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    paultoesLauren Evans
    6/29/16 9:42pm

    The face you make when you’re going over some of the choices you’ve made:

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      Supernova: Bullshit Jedipaultoes
      6/29/16 9:48pm

      That is the face I make when I chose the salad instead of the soup. All iceberg lettuce and a still green tomato, what? It was chicken tortilla soup? Dammit...

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      Al b surepaultoes
      6/29/16 9:52pm

      Hank Hill in real life.

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    HoustonDude2016Lauren Evans
    6/29/16 9:43pm

    Look, I’m no rocket surgeon, but I don’t think the events occurred exactly the way these folks are telling it.

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      Ari Schwartz: Dark Lord of the SnarkHoustonDude2016
      6/29/16 9:58pm

      Rocket surgery is serious business. Star Trek VI taught us that.

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      Hank ScorpioAri Schwartz: Dark Lord of the Snark
      6/30/16 2:38am

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    jemandthehologramsLauren Evans
    6/30/16 5:06am

    I just read this three times and each time got more confused. When I read the headline I assumed it was straight revenge and basically thought I understood, but no, this is waaaaaay more weird and illogical than revenge. So...what happened?

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      Sheket bevaka shut the fuck upjemandtheholograms
      7/01/16 2:36am

      Meth.

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      jemandthehologramsSheket bevaka shut the fuck up
      7/01/16 6:43am

      Your username just made me spit out my cereal. Best name ever.

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    DevonnaLauren Evans
    6/29/16 9:32pm

    There is so much WTF-ery in this story, that it's difficult to unpack.

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      Mme. de Stael (nee the Empress Frederick)Devonna
      6/29/16 9:54pm

      ......call Randilynn.......Ms. isFindilynn is expert at unpacking cumbersome valises......

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      theresthisDevonna
      6/29/16 9:57pm

      I was expecting a story about a guy walking in on the rape and losing control. Which would have been crazy enough. This I don’t get at all. They all sound like a bunch of psychos.

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    Mary-GraceLauren Evans
    6/29/16 9:37pm

    His torso and head were found within an hour of each other on Sunday morning.

    It would suck to be out looking for a body in the first place. But imagine finding the headless body and then having to search specifically for the severed head.

    :::Projectile vomits:::

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      MalloryKnocksMary-Grace
      6/29/16 9:40pm

      Something similar happened in Long Beach some years back. Bizarre treasure hunt started with a hand and then an arm and then the head.... It’s beyond me why killers do this.

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      caperclawMalloryKnocks
      6/29/16 9:50pm

      I always thought it was in hopes an arm doesn’t smell as much as a whole body and therefore won’t be discovered as fast.

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