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    SipowitzKelly Faircloth
    6/28/16 2:04pm

    I met a rich lady once who had an interesting way of dealing with problematic squirrels in her neighborhood.

    She’d make those peanut butter pine cone bird feeders that squirrels go nuts over and put shards of glass all in the peanut butter. She said, and I quote, “Oh, they just go to sleep and don’t wake up!” Which was an interesting take on having your intestines shredded from the inside with glass.

    Rich people are fucking scary, y’all.

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      wafflesfriendsworkSipowitz
      6/28/16 2:15pm

      Whaaaat. Like, if you’re homicidal against squirrels, what about poisoning them?? Or was she worried birds or other critters would be harmed that way?

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      Sipowitzwafflesfriendswork
      6/28/16 2:20pm

      I tried not to talk to her much after hearing how she deals with pesky rodents so I’m not sure.

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    Angelica SchuylerKelly Faircloth
    6/28/16 1:58pm

    wait, Toomer’s is in Dorset?

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      Kelly FairclothAngelica Schuyler
      6/28/16 2:02pm

      oh my God I’ve never seen this story and it’s amazing

      “too much ’Bama in me” I’m dying

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      Angelica SchuylerKelly Faircloth
      6/28/16 2:06pm

      Oh GIRL. Everything about this story is perfect. It’s humiliating and hilarious and...yes. Never gets old.

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    Ladyheatherlee 2016 EditionKelly Faircloth
    6/28/16 1:57pm

    If there’s one thing I learned growing up amongst wealthy oceanside people, it’s that wealthy oceanside people will stop at NOTHING to preserve their precious views.

    So the answer to this question is yes.

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      deerlady83Ladyheatherlee 2016 Edition
      6/28/16 2:00pm

      I don’t understand rich people.

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      Ladyheatherlee 2016 Editiondeerlady83
      6/28/16 2:03pm

      Me neither. Maybe is just the place I lived in, but there was always something to be stressed about or some horrible change to protest (good god, a three storey town hall????). Like simmer down. You don't have problems.

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    SqarrKelly Faircloth
    6/28/16 2:11pm

    It’s like something out of Midsomer, but dumber.

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      Mrs. BeetonSqarr
      6/28/16 2:19pm

      The tree would have collapsed and crushed a passing cyclist or something equally ludicrous and wonderful.

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      SqarrMrs. Beeton
      6/28/16 2:23pm

      And every single person except one within ten miles would have a rock-solid motive to want that particular cyclist dead. It’d end up being the one who seems to not, but actually does.

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    deerlady83Kelly Faircloth
    6/28/16 1:59pm

    The first thing I thought of reading this is it too damn much work to kill trees. Jesus, where do people find the time or energy to put this plan together?

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      ILikeThunderstormsdeerlady83
      6/28/16 2:03pm

      Rich people have plenty of time b/c no job, and apparently a lot of energy from all the green juices prepared by their personal chefs.

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      DrWhoSoccerStardeerlady83
      6/28/16 2:04pm

      Retired people get bored.

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    accordingtoKelly Faircloth
    6/28/16 2:18pm

    There’s a case back where I’m from in California where a property owner not only cut down several protected redwood trees, but also disturbed/destroyed a protected native american cultural site in order to improve their ocean views. People are dicks.

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      Cetotheriumaccordingto
      6/28/16 2:36pm

      Isn't that illegal?

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      accordingtoCetotherium
      6/28/16 2:39pm

      Yes. Wasn't even on their property. They're being sued.

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    Mrs. BeetonKelly Faircloth
    6/28/16 2:22pm

    lol

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      ANDOVA BEGARINMrs. Beeton
      6/28/16 3:24pm

      That was my thought, too ... “I wonder who it might have been?”

      But it’s hard to tell what angle the second picture was taken from. Most likely there will be a lot of small town accusations and darkened glances, with some poor innocent climbing up into a giant wicker sculpture at the end.

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      Mrs. BeetonANDOVA BEGARIN
      6/28/16 3:59pm

      Yeah, the second picture is obviously taken from the downward slope, too, making it look a lot bigger than it probably is.

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    Gwyneth P. is a reincarnated chicken nuggetKelly Faircloth
    6/28/16 2:39pm

    They should’ve stayed in the EU if they wanted to protect their property values.

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      EatBigSeaGwyneth P. is a reincarnated chicken nugget
      6/28/16 7:15pm

      Many posh people voted to leave, in the belief that it would drive property prices down enough to “buy something for the grandchildren.” Fuckers. http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/…

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      Gwyneth P. is a reincarnated chicken nuggetEatBigSea
      6/29/16 10:04am

      Bahahahaha. Idiots.

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    JujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes hereKelly Faircloth
    6/28/16 1:55pm

    LEAF BRITTNEY ALONE!!!!

    I think I treed too hard with this joke?

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      Stig-a-saw-us wrecks loves nuclear power.JujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes here
      6/28/16 2:54pm

      I think I treed too hard with this joke?

      Oakay, Maple you did, maple you didn’t.

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    ILikeThunderstormsKelly Faircloth
    6/28/16 2:02pm

    As usual, my theory that rich people are generally fucking assholes gets further proof.

    Really, fuckfaces? You need the perfect, unimpeded view that badly that you poisoned trees?

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