Discussion
  • Read More
    El-C0rnh0li0Anna Merlan
    6/27/16 9:16am

    Jesus Christ. So he beats the hell out of her, chokes her, runs around looking for a gun, blames it on his drinking, and comes away with no record? Am I missing something here? This shit has to stop.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      sybannEl-C0rnh0li0
      6/27/16 9:29am

      It’s not like he did these things to a MAN.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      yousayclamato, joeEl-C0rnh0li0
      6/27/16 9:43am

      In his defense, he is white.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    PlumberZekeAnna Merlan
    6/27/16 9:35am

    I had no idea “criminal obstruction of breathing” is a thing. I would think that obstructing someone’s breathing on purpose would be attempted murder or something.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      ThirdAmendmentManPlumberZeke
      6/27/16 9:50am

      And after taking a few classes it only counts as harassment!

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      PlumberZekeThirdAmendmentMan
      6/27/16 11:15am

      Ah, he should only have to apologize. “My bad, sorry I harassed your throat with my hands. We good?” and then everything’s hunky dory.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    NoYoSeBananaAnna Merlan
    6/27/16 9:27am
    1. Strangulation is one of the most terrorizing and lethal forms of violence used by men against their female intimate partners. The act of strangulation symbolizes an abuser’s power and control over the victim, most of whom are female. The sensation of suffocating can be terrifying; the victim is completely overwhelmed by the abuser. A single traumatic experience of strangulation or the threat of it may instill such intense fear that the victim can get trapped in a pattern of control by the abuser and made vulnerable to further abuse. Victims of one episode of strangulation are 7 times more likely to become a homicide victim at the hands of the same partner. Experts across the medical profession now agree that manual or ligature strangulation is “lethal force” and is one of the best predictors of a future homicide in domestic violence cases.

    Taken from “7 Facts Every Judge and Attorney Should Know When Domestic Violence Involves Strangulation”

    https://blog.ceb.com/2014/09/19/7-f...

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      SheeshTheseNamesNoYoSeBanana
      6/27/16 9:50am

      I have been strangled. It is scary like no other thing. I don’t know if I can even describe it. It felt so surreal, yet terrifying and fraught with panic. Strangely enough, my feelings also felt, well...hurt. Like, how could he do this to me?

      And still I wouldn’t have describe myself as an abuse victim, in an abusive relationship, or describe him as an abuser. Looking back, I don’t know why that is. I don’t know why I didn’t leave after the first time. I don’t know why I didn’t leave when he talked to me the way he did. I could have—I really could have, easily. It’s like I was in denial about what was really happening, and didn’t want to admit it? I don’t know. I cringe when I think of Younger Me. So much time wasted.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      NoYoSeBananaSheeshTheseNames
      6/27/16 9:56am

      Thank you for sharing this; I was never able to articulate how hurt my feelings were during and after the incident. “Hurt feelings” sounded too trite put it into words over the years, so I always kept it to myself. When we think of DV, we often think of slapping and punching. Strangulation has one of the highest mortality rates for females and children in DV situations. I just want more people to talk about intimate partner violence and in-home violence, so thank you.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    Mike Pipper Super GIF EnthusiastAnna Merlan
    6/27/16 9:23am

    Discount Jim Varney.

    GIF
    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      El-C0rnh0li0Mike Pipper Super GIF Enthusiast
      6/27/16 9:26am

      Jim Varney doing Shakespeare:

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      Mike Pipper Super GIF EnthusiastEl-C0rnh0li0
      6/27/16 9:27am

      I miss him. :,(

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    Unabashed AppliantologistAnna Merlan
    6/27/16 9:22am

    I look at things like this where money and notoriety play a part in people being able to plea down to lesser charges as major flaws in an already unfair justice system. However does any nation really have a system in place that is actually fair and just? What can we do better to protect potential victims that won’t simultaneously further stack the deck against the poor and minorities?

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      FernsandrocksUnabashed Appliantologist
      6/27/16 10:52am

      I hate to tell you, but this happens with everyone. So I’m a cop, and I’ve dealt with a lot of domestic violence. At this point, I arrest the aggressor and I know nothing will happen regardless of skin color or how much money they have. Without giving details obviously, but a guy choked and beat his wife, probation. One dragged her by the hair and beat her face, nothing. The judge said dismissed, on account “he said he won’t do it again.” Another has a restraining order he keeps breaking, and terrorizing her family. He repeatly gets arrested, but is out the next day or week. Not all these cases are white, rich males. only one is. So I don't know. I have NEVER seen in a domestic violence case where the perpetrator actually receives anywhere near the maximum punishment.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      Unabashed AppliantologistFernsandrocks
      6/27/16 11:08am

      That’s gotta be so damn heart breaking and demoralizing for you. I’m just glad you keep doing your part.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    JujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes hereAnna Merlan
    6/27/16 9:47am

    Is he still even a “shock-jock”? This shitbag got canned last year after going on a racist twitter rant and Sirius dumped him. He’s doing internet broadcasts from his basement, which is the equivalent of shouting out an open window.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      LuaJujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes here
      6/27/16 9:54am

      Seems like every idiot has a podcast nowadays.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      JujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes hereLua
      6/27/16 10:12am

      I don’t. Should I? I am very much an idiot.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    akuarianAnna Merlan
    6/27/16 9:43am

    “criminal obstruction of breathing.” Is there like a perfectly fine socially accepted and legal way to obstruct one breathing? (bar in sexual play that is).

    Like so charges will be dissected and broken down so much you will end up with alcohol induced pushing of the accelerator pedal instead of driving under the influence or something.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      Marx and Sparksakuarian
      6/27/16 1:00pm

      I can’t speak to that charge, specifically, but in Canada there is a crime called Overcome Resistance-Choking (as seen in the Jian Ghomeshi case) and it basically recognizes that there is something especially dangerous and violent about using choking to overcome the resistance someone is putting up to you assaulting them.

      In some cases choking is charged as attempted murder (and as a victim support worker I view choking as attempted murder).

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    whiteshoeblacksheepAnna Merlan
    6/27/16 9:15am

    Non-fatal strangulation is a major risk factor for homicide of women. It increases the odds of being a homicide victim seven-fold. I wonder what evidence exists to demonstrate the success of this six month batterers program at reducing domestic violence...

    http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/P...

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      friendlyfeministharpywhiteshoeblacksheep
      6/27/16 9:24am

      BIP’s don’t work.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    Marx and SparksAnna Merlan
    6/27/16 12:55pm

    Here’s something to make it all more horrifying, in many abusive men’s groups/education programs, they all share tips about how to abuse without getting caught/leaving visible marks. I have had clients whose husbands came home from such programs and showed them what they’d learned from their classmates.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      Onda WebsMarx and Sparks
      6/27/16 9:50pm

      Jesus fucking Christ

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    friendlyfeministharpyAnna Merlan
    6/27/16 9:26am

    I wish I was shocked by this. I was once with a client attempting to get a TRO, in which she described the person she was getting the order against as saying he would set her on fire and the judge asked her, “What do you think he meant when he said, he’d set you on fire?”

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      MicroAgressionsAboundfriendlyfeministharpy
      6/27/16 11:05am

      Your comment reminded me of a local D/V case that’d occured here in CT 30 yrs ago. The victim’s case was so sad, and groundbreaking, it forever changed how abuse within a relationship was handled by police, and the courts throughout the country.

      The victim, Tracy Thurman, was an abused wife who sought TRO’S against her husband. Despite repeatedly asking for help from local police and courts, her pleas for help were either minimized, or just straight up ignored. Her husband “Buck” Thurman violated a TRO, stabbed her 13 times, repeatedly stomped on her head breaking her neck. All within full view of witnesses and the arriving officers in the driveway.

      Some people here may be too young to remember, but only a short time ago, if a husband, or wife(yes women can be abusers too) assaulted their spouse/SO, an arrest would NOT be made. That is unless the victim specifically requested that the defendant be arrested. The victim could be black & blue, it didn’t matter. If an officer arrived to the scene of the crime, and she/he(victim) said “everything is ok, I just want him/her to leave the house”, an arrest would not be made. But Thurman filed a violation of civil rights suit against Torrington PD, and won a multi-million dollar judgement. Causing PD’s and courts nationwide to revise their stance on D/V. Making it an arrestable offense, even without the victim’s cooperation. Just as long as there’s enough probable cause, victim’s coorperation was no longer required for an arrest.

      Nancy McKeon(Jo fromThe Facts of Life) starred as Tracy Thurman, in what I consider to be one of the “Top 5 Made For TV Films of All-Time”....“A Cry For Help-The Tracy Thurman Story”. 25+ yrs after its original airing, Lifetime Channel still regularly airs this film. I assume out of respect for the lasting legacy the Thurman case had in the American court system.

      http://articles.courant.com/1992-03-15/new...

      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Cry_for...

      https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thurman_v...

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      EvilSassQueenMicroAgressionsAbound
      6/27/16 12:43pm

      Back when I lived in NY during the 90s-mid 2000s, my mom would call the police when my cunt-bag dad would beat her, but would not have him arrested. My grandparents and aunt repeatedly said to have his ass thrown in the slammer. I'm extremely glad things have changed!

      Reply
      <