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    Gabrielle CyniqueHudson Hongo
    6/27/16 1:20am

    Every single thing about this post made me feel like a sad old fat DEA agent.

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      Gabrielle CyniqueGabrielle Cynique
      6/27/16 1:21am

      When in fact I’m just a sad old zaftig lady lawyer.

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      AK7007Gabrielle Cynique
      6/27/16 1:42am

      Tbf, this was written in 2001. As a bay area hs freshman in 2001, all things rave were new to me too! (Only light mocking here, because I honestly do not know if mainstream society had any clue about raves in 2001)

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    PopChipsHudson Hongo
    6/27/16 2:00am

    As I was reading this story, I was wondering why I’ve never been to a rave, then I read the music list and noticed that the category “Broadway show tunes” was not included.

    I guess I’m just too gay for rave. That’s just sad.

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      GeorgeGeoffersonLivesPopChips
      6/27/16 2:25am

      Too gay for a rave?! Bless your heart. lol

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      SarsAttacks (remembers all Alamos equally)GeorgeGeoffersonLives
      6/27/16 3:20am

      I didn’t even think that was possible. The things one learns on the interwebs.

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    phunkshunHudson Hongo
    6/27/16 7:08am

    I was much more Full Adidas Tracksuit, complete with matching Kangol bucket hat, rather than JNCO wearing space cadet at the time. Due, in addition, to being non white I was basically ‘the dealer’ and could be counted on to out every last one of these clowns no matter what venue we happened to be at that evening. I mean they’d come right out of the woodwork like clockwork once 2 am hit. I think I knew the identity of every undercover in every after hours offering club in lower Manhattan between the turn of the century and 2005.

    It wasn’t even the age that outed them or the fact that they’d inevitably ask me for ‘extasy,’ and make very sure that they put accent on the pronunciation of the word....It was the pants and shoes. You know how most cops, when told to dress down, always wear those nondescript Reebok foot-loaf, comfort practical Action-dad sneakers? Yeah, huge tell. That and dad jeans. Dude, nobody is wearing Wrangler regular-straights after dark...nobody. Even the NYU dorming transplants that got dragged there by a native had the good sense to go out and buy a pair of UFO’s and New Balance in a decent colorway.

    My teenage years in the Florida Rave scene were even worse. They didn’t even bother with a T-shirt. Son, nobody who’s hear to gurn face would be caught dead in an K Mart polo shirt. They didn’t even try.

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      funkdelishphunkshun
      6/27/16 9:17am

      “Action dad”. Perfect. I’ve known a few undercovers in my day, and you are invariably correct. Also, the FBI agents got their suits at JC Penneys and they just look like the university version of cops.

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      tornadoslackssphunkshun
      6/27/16 9:37am

      People are going to think I am clever as shit when I start using "Reebok foot-loaf." That's perfect.

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    Sid and FinancyHudson Hongo
    6/27/16 1:34am

    Chewing on a glowstick to prevent teeth grinding is not advised. Trust me on this.

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      gravit8Sid and Financy
      6/27/16 2:31am

      But your glowing teeth/tongue/mouth will just really freak some people out, yo.

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      David RochlinSid and Financy
      6/27/16 3:30am
      • Don’t be alarmed if lips and tongue glow for a few minutes.
      • Wipe the mouth with a clean wet washcloth; go over the tongue and around the gum line.
      • Drink one-half cup (4 ounces) of water.
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    OpenSourceDWORDHudson Hongo
    6/27/16 1:31am

    What are telebubbies?

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      TheBoysBadNewsOpenSourceDWORD
      6/27/16 1:34am

      Do you . . . do you really not know?

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      OpenSourceDWORDTheBoysBadNews
      6/27/16 1:37am

      Are they like the North Korean version of teletubbies?

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    GeorgeGeoffersonLivesHudson Hongo
    6/27/16 1:46am

    Oh, please let me be the first to add this obligatory gif. lol

    GIF
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      thegirlisnooneGeorgeGeoffersonLives
      6/27/16 1:54am

      i so want his tshirt!

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      funkdelishGeorgeGeoffersonLives
      6/27/16 9:15am

      This will never get old. It gets younger every day!

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    DiscoInfernoSupressionSystemHudson Hongo
    6/27/16 2:57am

    Somebody please go up to Brian Eno and say, “Hey Ol’ Sourpuss, I hear Ambient is just slowed-down Trace, am i rite?”

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      EatTheCheeseNicholsonDiscoInfernoSupressionSystem
      6/27/16 5:43am

      +1 for “Ol’ Sourpuss”

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      Cam/ronDiscoInfernoSupressionSystem
      6/27/16 8:31am

      The world needs more innovative musicians and composers selling cat food:

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    SamSamanthorHudson Hongo
    6/27/16 2:23am

    Mock Hot Topic now, but in 2001 when I was 14, I thought it was the coolest fucking store in the world. There wasn’t one in the mall closest to us, so I would beg my mom to take me to the next mall. I owned so many black tshirts with sarcastic things on them and thought I was the shit.

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      Important Info!!SamSamanthor
      6/27/16 10:34am

      I owned so many black tshirts with sarcastic things on them and thought I was the shit.

      You were!

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      AnnieW50SamSamanthor
      6/27/16 12:15pm

      Since I’m older I would never mock it. 90's wear was a ton more cool then what I wore in the 80's. Between the height of my hair and the width of my shoulder pads I’m surprised I could get through a standard door.

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    GeorgeGeoffersonLivesHudson Hongo
    6/27/16 1:53am

    So, candy ravers dress like children, because they are children?!

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      CimmeriusHudson Hongo
      6/27/16 1:33am

      Good thing they warned about the Japanese animation, wouldn’t want a DEA agent to get there and be like: “Fuck! I wasn’t prepared for that!”

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        HeadlessDeschainCimmerius
        6/27/16 2:10am

        I have a strong feeling that was added as an explanation for a CERTAIN DEA agent who keeps getting caught beating it to Sailor Moon at his desk.

        “I was just doing RESEARCH! JEEZ. you guys don’t know shit...”

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