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    HangnailsAshley Feinberg
    7/06/16 10:03am

    Um, I think we should just cancel. Right guys? Let’s reschedule for next year. I’ll text you with a city when I figure it out.

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      EvenBaggierTrousers4Hangnails
      7/06/16 10:05am

      Nah, let’s let this play out. Between the GOP convention and this, it’s going to be Must See TV.

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      butcherbakertoiletrymakerHangnails
      7/06/16 10:22am

      NO! There is MONEY at stake here! The show must go on for the sake of the bottom line!

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    teenytinycornteethAshley Feinberg
    7/06/16 10:06am

    While I’m genuinely terrified for the athletes and their trainers and families and such...I’m also kind of morbidly excited to just watch this whole nightmare implode on itself live on tv. What the heck are their opening ceremonies going to be - everyone pitch in and help skim the turds out of the river?

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      Burntttteenytinycornteeth
      7/06/16 10:14am

      Yeah but I remember thinking that about Sochi too and... well it was OK, right? There was the guy who got trapped in the bathroom and the melty snow and the stray dogs but otherwise okay.

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      benjaminalloverteenytinycornteeth
      7/06/16 10:16am

      I wait with baited breath to see if it will be enough of a disaster to force the IOC to admit their program has devolved into an orgy of corruption and destruction, and a massive penalty on local populations. It’s time to make permanent Olympic facilities in Greece and get back to the sports, rather than have these slow-motion civic catastrophes every four years.

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    WammerAshley Feinberg
    7/06/16 11:04am

    What’s frustrating to me is, that the United States (and probably many countries) can’t realistically pull out of the games at this point. With McDonald’s, Coca-Cola, and Nike (to name a few) basically sponsoring the entire olympic team financially, the US can’t pull out, because they will then cease to be sponsors. It’s the non-high-profile athletes that are really getting here—they need the money from the sponsors so that they can train full-time, and this is probably their one shot at success, and now they really, really have to think hard about dropping all of that hard work because Rio can’t pull it together.

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      icreateburnerswhenkinjabreaksWammer
      7/06/16 11:23am

      That’s the part that sucks. Multiple basketball players and golfers have declined to attend because they’re already rich so who cares?

      But some poor triathlete is going to have to swim through shit like Andy Dufresne because this may be their one chance to land an endorsement and pay their bills.

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      AgilisWammer
      7/06/16 11:28am

      Fuck financial reasons. The only thing that should be the topic of discussion is subjecting the athletes to lethal toxins, bacteria, and viruses.

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    det-devil-ailsAshley Feinberg
    7/06/16 11:11am

    I love Rio. Brazilians are nice people.

    Every modern Olympic host city gets this narrative until the day before the games start, after which every single broadcaster and athlete is bending over backwards to say, ‘How wonderfully they managed to pull these games off!”

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      Misterdet-devil-ails
      7/06/16 11:22am

      Every modern Olympic host city gets this narrative...

      ...except London, Sydney, Atlanta, Barcelona, Seoul, Los Angeles, Moscow, Munich, Montreal, Vancouver, Salt Lake City, Albertville, Lillehammer, Nagano, Calgary, Lake Placid...

      Or pretty much Rio, Beijing, and Athens got this narrative.

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      det-devil-ailsMister
      7/06/16 12:41pm

      The “it’s going to be an unprecedented disaster!!!” narrative.

      London “would never be able to handle the air traffic and housing.”

      Vancouver “was too hot. There’s no snow!”

      Sydney was going to be beset by “angry aborigines burning cars and buildings.”

      Barcelona “had no infrastructure to support such an event.”

      Seoul rounded up poor people and stuck them in prison labor camps to get them out of the camera eye. Dog eating.

      Los Angeles had “unbreathable pollution.”

      Moscow, “with all the countries boycotting, it’s just a commie sideshow. Why would anyone even bother?”

      Salt Lake City, “no booze and widespread corruption.”

      Sochi, “The town is just a failed real estate scam, and isn’t even built yet:

      [shrug]

      All is forgotten the moment the music starts playing and the torch shows up. You watch, Rio will be 100% attractive half-naked people, samba dancing and caipirinhas when the games start.

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    FacebonesAshley Feinberg
    7/06/16 10:21am

    It will be fun to see how long NBC’s Olympic coverage can ignore all of the calamities and just keep running more inspirational bio pieces.

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      ajdragoonFacebones
      7/06/16 10:35am

      If CNN can talk about a missing airplane for weeks on end, this will be a walk in the park for NBC.

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      artless.dodgerFacebones
      7/06/16 10:45am

      Those Procter and Gamble “mom” ads might have to gloss over the rivers of poop a bit....

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    DoobyOneAshley Feinberg
    7/06/16 10:02am

    Welcome to our festering shit hole!

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      Rum RaisinDoobyOne
      7/06/16 10:05am

      That is exactly how I welcome guests when they visit me.

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      DoobyOneRum Raisin
      7/06/16 10:06am

      Me, too! I like to spriitz them with a little shit-water mist when they enter my abode. Then I rob them at gunpoint and chop off their feet. Vive le Olympics!!

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    Carmellio SampersAshley Feinberg
    7/06/16 10:08am

    Does it bother anyone that this is the general direction in which the entire world is headed? Been around Florida lately?

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      GnorkCarmellio Sampers
      7/06/16 10:29am

      The algae in FL is from agricultural run off, not sewage. Please don’t compare FL with Brazil, we’re not THAT bad.

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      GoingSlightlyMadCarmellio Sampers
      7/06/16 10:48am

      The world is going to shit.

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    Peter_ThielAshley Feinberg
    7/06/16 10:14am

    I disagree. What you're mocking here Ashley is poverty. Deep, destructive poverty. Hundreds of millions of people live in abject poverty around the world. The things you mention here are everyday occurrences for them. The obscene thing here is the attempt to obfuscate that reality with sport and its accoutrements.

    I for one think adding in the element of potential death due to conditions caused by poverty spread by capitalist regimes worldwide is exciting. I look forward to watching. And a few arbitrary deaths is just what the spectacle needs.

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      GnorkPeter_Thiel
      7/06/16 10:32am

      I must have read this differently, I thought it was the corruption and exploitation of the poor being mocked. Nowhere did I see her make fun of the people caught up in this mess.

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      Peter_ThielGnork
      7/06/16 10:34am

      Probably. I didn't read the article.

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    Elsewhere0101Ashley Feinberg
    7/06/16 10:13am

    Let me see...

    The IOC has a name (the “Olympics”) that they they’ll license to a city that bribes them the best.

    Then either the government or local authority has to pay to create the event, which is very expensive, and accept 100% of the financial risk, which can be enourmous.

    Meanwhile, the IOC collects billions of dollars (plus all the bribes previously collected, even bribes by cities that are not hosting the “Olympics”) by selling the event to media all over the world, so it will be broadcast even yea, unto the furthest hills.

    Isn’t it possible that hosting the games may be a not-smart thing for a city to do?

    While observing the the IOC scheme of marketing and risk management is brilliant, it a little vague on ethics?

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      bonzombiekittyElsewhere0101
      7/06/16 10:22am

      “Isn’t it possible that hosting the games may be a not-smart thing for a city to do?”

      Yep, plenty of cities don’t see it as worth it. For the 2022 Winter Olympic games, I think all but two cities pulled out of the running of their own volition because it just isn’t worth it.

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      ajdragoonElsewhere0101
      7/06/16 10:33am

      Isn’t it possible that hosting the games may be a not-smart thing for a city to do?

      Yup. Hence why China is hosting the 2022 Winter Olympics—almost everyone else dropped out.

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    AximillAshley Feinberg
    7/06/16 10:14am

    The Olympics Committee really needs to pick some permanent Olympic sites. They constantly harp that the games lead to great developments for a city, but that has only really happened with Barcelona in 1992.

    There would be a lot fewer people displaced after permanent sites are chosen and built. Rio has used the games as a good excuse for covering up their poor or just moving them to the outskirts of the city.

    And most of the construction associated with the games is useless afterwards. I can see how the Olympic villages could provide for urban housing if they were planned better and affordable for more people. But how much use can a city get from all those stadiums, arenas, pools, and unique race courses? And they all have to get built every 2 years (Winter and Summer Olympics) in a new location.

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      KingDongBundyAximill
      7/06/16 10:53am

      The permanent location just makes TOO much sense, and who would provide the bribe money? The IOC is just as bad, if not worse, than FIFA so they will ultimately do what makes them the most coin.

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      Oatmeal Cookie Monster is With HerAximill
      7/06/16 11:07am

      This is why Los Angeles needs to get the 2024 Olympics. Olympic Village will be the UCLA dorms, and any new construction will just go to student housing. It already has most of the venues. Los Angeles made money in 1984, because they kept costs down, and there’s no reason to think that won’t happen again.

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