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    Sean BrodyAshley Feinberg
    6/17/16 11:37am

    Early this morning, one truck carrying bread collided with another truck carrying deli meat

    The injured are being airlifted to the Mayo clinic

    (sorry)

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      MontoviroSean Brody
      6/17/16 11:40am

      You broke the internet.

      +All the condiments

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      Sean BrodySean Brody
      6/17/16 11:41am

      See? Just because this happened in Jersey, we don’t have to make hacky Christie fat jokes. We’re better than that.

      We can make hacky food puns instead.

      Okay, maybe not ‘better’ exactly. We do what we can.

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    StenchofaburnerAshley Feinberg
    6/17/16 11:30am

    Where is Chris Christie? Did anyone inquiry as to his whereabouts?!

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      Hip Brooklyn StereotypeStenchofaburner
      6/17/16 11:30am

      How do you think the whole thing got cleaned up?

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      StenchofaburnerHip Brooklyn Stereotype
      6/17/16 11:32am

      Spotted at Trump HQ

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    DangleSnizCelliAshley Feinberg
    6/17/16 11:33am

    Man that sucks. Can you imagine being in Jersey?

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      promnightdumpsterbabyDangleSnizCelli
      6/17/16 11:39am

      It is worse than you can imagine.

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      GenMcAssholeDangleSnizCelli
      6/17/16 11:45am

      +1

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    TopherAshley Feinberg
    6/17/16 11:33am

    What, no cheese truck? Then what’s the point?

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      Hip Brooklyn StereotypeTopher
      6/17/16 11:33am

      At least send in the Gulden’s mustard truck for a little pizzazz.

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      promnightdumpsterbabyHip Brooklyn Stereotype
      6/17/16 11:37am

      Out 287 heading towards Morristown and Mendham, where Governor Sandwiches lives? That’s Grey Poupon territory there.

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    Arctic16Ashley Feinberg
    6/17/16 11:35am

    Ashley, c’mon now. No true North Jerseyian calls it a “hoagie.” It’s a sub.

    BRB driving to the scene of the accident right now.

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      Icecold DavisArctic16
      6/17/16 11:45am

      THIS IS THE ONLY RELEVANT COMMENT

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      piggywillow1Arctic16
      6/17/16 12:06pm

      I came here to say this exact thing!

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    BaggyTrousers3Ashley Feinberg
    6/17/16 11:36am

    Official Chris Christie Joke Counter®

    GIF
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      IanBaggyTrousers3
      6/17/16 11:50am

      “The national Christie joke counter is at an all-time high. It looks like there could be a bubble in that industry at some point.”

      “A...’bubble’...like Christie?!??! BAAAHHHAHAHAHHAHA”

      :/

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      BaggyTrousers3Ian
      6/17/16 11:52am

      Thanks for making it completely reset...

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    lobstrAshley Feinberg
    6/17/16 11:46am

    Aide: “Sir, there’s been a truck accident on 287...”

    Christie: “Who gives a shit about those assholes, I’m with Trump working on more important shit...”

    Aide: “But, sir, deli meat is strewn all over the highway”

    Christie: “OUTTA MY WAY, MY CONSTITUENTS NEED ME!”

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      Sasquatch2lobstr
      6/17/16 12:22pm

      I tried to read that in his voice but I couldn’t even tho I am in NJ and I’m eating a sandwich right now.

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      lobstrSasquatch2
      6/17/16 2:56pm

      Well, to be fair, his mouth would already be full of another sandwich while yelling those lines, and with the limitations of text, it’s hard to properly project the aura of Chris Christie talking with his mouth full of food..... so imagine the above lines, only garbled and half-coherent, with bits and pieces of cured pastrami flying towards you and try it again... let me know if that works.

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    ManchuCandidateAshley Feinberg
    6/17/16 11:34am

    The bigger question, though, is just how likely it is that a rogue bread truck and a rogue meat truck would find each and collide on Interstate 287.

    It’s a cold cut case.

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      BaggyTrousers3ManchuCandidate
      6/17/16 11:40am

      Well, I think this truck was headed to Jersey but there was a second headed to Delaware. So in this case there’s mortadella(ware).

      Damn, I went a long way for nothin’

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      Just another GawkfugeeBaggyTrousers3
      6/17/16 1:32pm
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    Mr.Spaghetti! The Gentildouche YearsAshley Feinberg
    6/17/16 4:45pm

    Anyone else think of this?

    We now go to internal monologue hidden camera:

    No...No one else thought of this. You weirdo.

    First of all, this commercial is freaking old. What were you like five years old when you saw this man? Remember how you used to eat all the Reese’s peanut butter cups? And you would eat until you felt sick, and then go lay down on the couch?

    And why are people wandering around the sidewalks eating peanut butter straight from a jar? So odd...

    And why are they dancing? Sure, just dancing happily after a little mishap on the sidewalk.

    Do you think they went home and did it after their dancing, chocolate/peanut butter mash up weirdness? Probably the actors, but not within the context of the commerical reality.

    Wait, what commercial reality? It’s not real. But within the story—-No, you knock it off. I have a right to my opinion here. There is no opinion, the commercial is fake....

    I wonder if all the Gawker commenters are still reading this...Probably just making more sandwich puns and stuff. Ha ha...I love these guys...

    Well, I don’t really love them, don’t be pedantic, man...”

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      Dr._Philtrum, RNMr.Spaghetti! The Gentildouche Years
      6/17/16 7:01pm

      Get your hidden camera out of my internal monologue!

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      Mr.Spaghetti! The Gentildouche YearsDr._Philtrum, RN
      6/17/16 7:08pm

      Impossible. They are always watching. Here, let me just buy some temporary privacy, {there we go...these special brackets give us a few minutes before they evaporate...the hidden cameras are part of a Black ops project that Facebook engineered with the Feds....see by buying Oculus, they were able to...}}}

      shit, they’re onto me. fuck fuck fuck fuck....

      Hi, Dr. Philtrum, thank you for your comment. Nothing to see here. Just posting on a blog. No...big... deal...

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    America's WangAshley Feinberg
    6/17/16 12:52pm
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      buckeyeforabuckeyeAmerica's Wang
      6/17/16 1:30pm
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      America's Wangbuckeyeforabuckeye
      6/17/16 3:58pm

      Hahaha—I forget—is that Marge clipping it to send to Jay Leno?

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