Discussion
  • Read More
    Quasar FunkRich Juzwiak
    6/17/16 11:13am

    Altruism is an illusion anyways. I subscribe to the theory of psychological egoism. Altruistic acts provide an intrinsic reward of both personal gratification as well as the potential reward of recognition and praise.

    Once one accepts this, one can understand and appreciate the empty gestures a little bit more, since essentially every altruist gesture is empty. Accept and embrace it.

    What I’m saying to my fellow cynics and nihilists, is that it doesn’t really get better, which means it gets better.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      Icecold DavisQuasar Funk
      6/17/16 11:20am

      Way to make it about you.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      benjaminalloverQuasar Funk
      6/17/16 11:20am

      This is a bullshit theory. You’re missing exactly half of the human condition if you are collapsing altruism into self-interest. It’s the gene that is wholly self-interested, not the individual human being.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    CultureCannibalRich Juzwiak
    6/17/16 11:20am

    I find the performative nature of social media “grief” and “solidarity” really cringy and obnoxious. I find it as distasteful in celebrities as I do in the rank-and-file FB/Twitter/Tumblr user. Not everything is about YOU and YOUR feelings. In fact, most stuff isn’t.

    Having said that, I too have been guilty of doing it. Not intentionally, but as a knee-jerk reaction to a strong emotion. I usually go back and delete that shit. The day after Orlando, I wrote a FB post about my refusal to denounce an entire religion based on the actions of one asshole. It was directed (obliquely, to the outside observer) at several friends and family members who are all too ready to jump on the Islamaphobe bandwagon, as well as to my many Muslim friends who, after every incident like this, feel increasingly isolated and demonised. Several people on my FB chose to share my statements...then several of *their* friends shared it. It made me intensely uncomfortable, because what was originally intended to be a clap back at my racist, gun-loving family was being shared as some kind of grand statement about the State Of Things. So I deleted it and hoped it would disappear.

    Point being, I should keep my hot takes to myself. And so should 90% of the rest of the population.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      saucissonCultureCannibal
      6/17/16 11:26am

      What’s the alternative? Silence? That seems equally if not more unhelpful. We have a frustrating-enough relationship with grief and shock in our culture without requiring that people keep their sorrow to themselves for fear of being distasteful. Grief *is* about us — we’re the ones feeling it! Bottling it up, not talking about things, not expressing emotion gives rise to the notion that, for example, two days is sufficient bereavement leave from work when one of your parents dies. When the magnitude of grief, and what it does to the human psyche and human body, is hidden it becomes not only easy but *expected* to dismiss other’s pain as “performative”.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      CultureCannibalsaucisson
      6/17/16 11:29am

      I dunno. Reach out in real life to your local Mosque? Call your representatives and demand change? Donate blood? Volunteer somewhere? Go to a vigil?

      There are literally a million better ways to express your grief and solidarity than changing your FB profile pic to a rainbow filter.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    BaggyTrousers3Rich Juzwiak
    6/17/16 11:10am

    Why does anyone do any of this? Because making major events about oneself is an increasingly practiced component of the digitized-human condition.

    This is why I mostly avoid Facebook after a major event (tragedy, death, etc.). I like most of my “friends” on there, but it becomes a goddamn social pissing contest with so many people trying to display how it affects them “personally” (“OMG, I went to the house of a friend who lives RIGHT DOWN the street from there...” “Well, as a person with a gay second-cousin...”)

    Usually, after a few days it calms down and I can go back but... c’mon.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      Sean BrodyBaggyTrousers3
      6/17/16 11:19am

      This is why I mostly avoid Facebook after a major event (tragedy, death, etc.). I like most of my “friends” on there, but it becomes a goddamn social pissing contest with so many people trying to display how it affects them “personally” (“OMG, I went to the house of a friend who lives RIGHT DOWN the street from there...” “Well, as a person with a gay second-cousin...”)

      Usually, after a few days it calms down and I can go back but... c’mon.

      Had a piece published in a national newspaper along those lines after the Boston bombing. It brings The Cringe when I look at it now.

      I opt out of all that stuff now; changing profile photos and whatnot.
      If you can’t actually help, showboating is a poor substitute.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      ScelestusBaggyTrousers3
      6/17/16 11:22am

      Argh, it’s the fucking worst- for the past few days my feed’s been deluged about how people are pissed off at the parents of the kid who got taken by the gator at Disney. About how they would’ve done things differently, or how awful it would’ve been if little Jayden had been taken instead of that unlucky kid.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    dothedewRich Juzwiak
    6/17/16 11:10am

    I stand with you, Gay-Americans, whether you like it or not.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      VtDkDudedothedew
      6/17/16 11:14am

      I want to make this into a dirty joke, but it’s Friday and I am tired.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      dothedewVtDkDude
      6/17/16 11:17am

      You disappoint me.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    MizJenkinsRich Juzwiak
    6/17/16 11:31am

    I suppose I can understand your cynicism. Yes, we have become a culture teeming with attention-hungry narcissists (or were we always and now there are just more ways to feed that appetite?) Yes, that’s what we do now in general, whether it’s for a cause or just because it’s #ThrowbackThursday. And it’s worth throwing into the analysis that we are also animals with a herd mentality such that once enough people adopt some sort of behavior, the masses tend to follow. Sometimes blindly.

    But the fact that a gesture is self-aggrandizing, self-serving or unoriginal does not make it worthless. It may not even make it worth less than one that is heartfelt and sincere. First of all, there is no strict dichotomy. Most people who are changing their Facebook profile pictures in tribute to tragedy or pouring buckets of ice water over their heads are doing so because on some level they do care. To what extent is something probably only they know, but it is difficult to mandate how much someone should care about an event/condition that does not directly affect them in the first place. And, by definition, we can never know how many non-public acts of support these alleged social media whores have also undertaken.

    Second, how sincere or heartfelt is is ever when you are offering support or condolence to a total stranger? We may sympathize and we may empathize on some level, but if we don’t actually know the person/people involved then it’s never more than an abstract wish for the betterment of humanity. But that doesn’t mean that public support doesn’t matter.

    And if you question that proposition, just ask the people who do NOT receive that public support. Ask the people suffering from less popular afflictions whether they would like their pain to be equally acknowledged by society. Ask Black and brown women/femmes who typically rank highest among victim demographics if they wouldn’t like a week’s worth of front page news stories and digital media thinkpieces devoted to them. All that herd action, in all its varying levels of intensity and sincerity, does eventually move the needle. That “It Gets Better” campaign is among the reasons it has in fact gotten better. It brought visibility, education and a sense of community to a wide audience, many of whom had not previously engaged with the issue, which in turn created a climate in which sweeping legislative reforms were possible.

    When you ask “Are we Orlando or are we brands”, consider the massive cultural influence of brands. Maybe that’s what we need to be.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      ThatFatScatCat fucking loves muddy puddlesMizJenkins
      6/17/16 11:51am

      I agree with what you’ve said here... until

      consider the massive cultural influence of brands. Maybe that’s what we need to be.

      Somehow I think that branding an entire culture will degrade that cultures right to not be lessened in the eyes of outsiders or further appropriated by those with less than ingenuous intent.

      Unless there’s an overarching point about this “brand” business I’m missing, which is totally possible. I can’t get every. single. metaphor out there, you guys!

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      MizJenkinsThatFatScatCat fucking loves muddy puddles
      6/17/16 12:02pm

      Yeah, I’m not recommending branding homosexuality or other minority or cultures and I think you’ve correctly identified the dangers there. I’m saying within the larger mainstream culture, there is merit to manufacturing outrage and turning it into an easily consumable product.

      I would love for everyone’s intentions to be 100% pure and well-informed, but if I’m in a bind I’ll take faux concern that garners more publicity and support for my cause over heartfelt feelings in a vacuum. It’s harder to take the latter to my Congressman and say, “See? This is what your constituents want.”

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    TopherRich Juzwiak
    6/17/16 11:35am

    Are We Orlando or Are We Brands?

    GIF

    I don’t even know anymore!

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      TopherTopher
      6/17/16 11:37am

      It’s getting worse...

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      MizJenkinsTopher
      6/17/16 11:42am

      This is excellent Kinja.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    ReburnsABurningReturnsRich Juzwiak
    6/17/16 11:24am

    So, saying this was an attack on gay people was too narrow, but not acknowledging that gay people were attacked was wrong, too.

    Don’t get me wrong, Bruni’s a putz, but I think it’s appropriate to try and thread this needle.

    Mateen appears to have had multiple motivations for why he chose to strike the gay club, including his religion and what appears to be a troubled sexual identity. One of the many things ISIS hates about Western culture is that we are (relatively speaking anyways) more tolerant of things like homosexuality.

    Mateen clearly had extra problems with homosexuals, which may have been related to trying to reconcile his own attractions with his religion.

    This is both an attack on social liberalism in general and homosexuals in particular.

    Complex quotes “artist, photographer, and popular Twitter user” Shon Yves as saying, “How dare someone who is not a part of our community take up space in this way?”

    Can someone actually demonstrate that Nick Jonas is harming gay artists? Is there any proof that people who make statements like this aren’t attention hungry blowhards?

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      EvanrudeJohnsonReburnsABurningReturns
      6/17/16 12:39pm

      This is both an attack on social liberalism in general and homosexuals in particular

      This is what is endlessly frustrating about this. It is both, it is both a hate crime and it is terrorism. In the immediate aftermath of a mass shooting, you get a bunch of people asking why aren’t the media and politicians labeling this as terrorism (when in fact, many already are) . Once the smoke settles, you get a bunch of people trying to push the terror angle out of it. The Charleston Church shooting was both terrorism and a hate crime.So is this one.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      foldableReburnsABurningReturns
      6/17/16 3:30pm

      It’s tautological that murdering people for being members of an oppressed minority is an attack on liberal values. All political killing is, for that matter. In general, publicly acknowledging that isn’t considered necessary.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    DisMyBurnerBaeRich Juzwiak
    6/17/16 11:17am

    Half gay isn’t a thing “Half a fag” is a guido thing.

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      EvanrudeJohnsonDisMyBurnerBae
      6/17/16 11:24am

      That is what I was thinking of, I believe some of the flunkies on Howard Stern used that term back in the day.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      President SkroobDisMyBurnerBae
      6/17/16 12:34pm

      Aries Spears has a tremendous bit on the phrase.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    PopChipsRich Juzwiak
    6/17/16 12:54pm

    It was interesting when one of the other kids at my 10-year-old son’s summer camp told him, “Yeah, they shoot people like your dads.”

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      j4x_PopChips
      6/18/16 7:26pm

      I am curious about the context (accusatory or conciliatory?) But “interested” sounds like only astepping stone to your real feelings.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      PopChipsj4x_
      6/18/16 10:55pm

      Told to him in a very matter-of-fact way which was the interesting part. There was no “that sucks” or “that’s awesome”. Very much, that’s just the way it is. Live with it.

      Reply
      <
  • Read More
    det-devil-ailsRich Juzwiak
    6/17/16 11:24am

    Are We Orlando or Are We Brands?

    Reply
    <
    • Read More
      the johndet-devil-ails
      6/17/16 12:53pm

      Tell me this is a photoshop and not an ad. Let me believe that #brands have enough of a sliver of self-awareness to not do that.

      Reply
      <
    • Read More
      MrHollandsOldPenisthe john
      6/17/16 5:07pm

      Sorry to burst your bubble, but after last weekend’s Pride parade in LA, I ended up with numerous stickers/temporary tattoos/etc. of rainbow-ified Disney, Uber, and Lyft logos.

      Also, I got one for a company called “Delfie,” which seems to exist solely to help you take better selfies with your dog. God help us all.

      Reply
      <