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    VanessarefusestowritedownburnerkeyCasey Near
    7/03/16 9:36am

    I would love to read a story about how someone is dealing w/ their life issues w/o packing up and travelling to ‘find themselves’.

    I know people’s anxieties come out in different ways, but it surprises me how often those who have it so easily gloss over the actual process of packing up and travelling, which can be extremely anxiety inducing, to the point of paralyzing.

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      sadpearsVanessarefusestowritedownburnerkey
      7/03/16 9:41am

      So much this.

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      miss_cheviousVanessarefusestowritedownburnerkey
      7/03/16 10:03am

      I just moved less than four blocks from my last place and I’m feeling stress as a result — I can’t imagine that the discarding of a former life is as simple as the author makes it sound.

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    jkfyukifyhuklfyiCasey Near
    7/03/16 8:31am

    My honest gut response to this article as someone who is struggling with issues, I feel like this is a very boastful article, I have zero sympathy for the writer, I guess this person was a fucking COUNSELOR Jesus Christ, this person would NEVER relate to my problems. I just don’t really understand the point of this article. I guess it’s not for me, but it’s certainly very offensive to me.

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      det-devil-ailsjkfyukifyhuklfyi
      7/03/16 9:04am

      Have you tried summering on the continent?

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      Octopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.det-devil-ails
      7/03/16 9:06am

      You are the greatest.

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    CaptainJackCasey Near
    7/03/16 11:29am

    Sorry, running away from your problems doesn’t actually make them go away.

    I wish these self discovery articles were less about just running away.

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      LorakeetCaptainJack
      7/03/16 11:47am

      I think there is a weird disconnect in our society where escapism, like ‘running away from your problems” is seen as so awful but “finding yourself”is not, so people have to walk a fine line to avoid ridicule. Also there is alot of ways in which stepping away from a problem DOES help to give you the insight and tools to fix it. I’m personally a big fan of some healthy escapism and I work in the mental health feild. I’ve had a few very difficult points in my life and some if then culminated in me running the fuck away for a few weeks or a month, to Panama, to Bolivia, to backpack the PCT. It didn’t fix my problem but it made me able to deal with it and I’m better off for it.

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      GELLA - LLAPCaptainJack
      7/03/16 12:36pm

      you can escape for a few weeks, for holiday, for scenery change, but you can’t escape your life, you can change it

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    Cookiepuss4lyfeCasey Near
    7/03/16 10:37am

    I take very little from a solution to depression and anxiety that is largely out of reach for most people. With a family consisting of two little kids, I find it hard to gain inspiration from the privilege of being able to travel solo around the globe, dropping everything to find oneself. I need wisdom on how to get a grip in the midst of the daily monotony, one that's not achieved by running away from it.

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      badmuthaCookiepuss4lyfe
      7/03/16 1:43pm

      I blame Eat Pray Love for this phenomenon.

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      ZeetalCookiepuss4lyfe
      7/03/16 5:54pm

      The reality is that you have to do the hard work. And, it costs money.

      My parents got 10 sessions to learn a particular therapeutic model ($900), and then can get “touch base” appointments as he needs ($120 ea). In the mean time, he works his therapy and his workbooks that came with it. It’s really done well for him.

      My therapy is 10 sessions — which I do once a month for 10 moths — at $900. In between, I have homework to do and therapeutic stuff to apply in daily life. It takes practice and isn’t easy, but I feel like I’m doing well. After these 10 sessions, I’ll be able to do “touch base” as well.

      My husband and I did couple’s therapy — Imago. It starts with a weekend workshop, then you have several therapy sessions (we spread ours out quarterly) to take us through the year. Then there’s also homework. It works really well.

      For the kiddo, we also have a parenting coach. We meet with her twice a year (and she also has lectures on her materials). This is the least expensive ($60/session; $25 per lecture). And we meet with DS’s teachers quarterly to check in with him.

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    My Dog Is A PirateCasey Near
    7/03/16 11:28am

    I grew up in Italy, yet I still suffered from crippling depression. Should I have maybe moved to Cleveland?

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      MarillenbaumMy Dog Is A Pirate
      7/03/16 11:50am

      Cleveland is horrible, so no. Now, Baltimore—Baltimore’s great!

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      ChrissMariMy Dog Is A Pirate
      7/03/16 12:42pm

      Come to Philadelphia; it’s not always sunny here, but I have a pretty cat.

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    courtCasey Near
    7/03/16 8:34am

    Casey, this entire post is beautiful, refreshing, and rare. And it spoke to me like a dear and trusted friend. Your story is unique to your experiences by the very definition of the word but so broadly meaningful in its universal implications. I too grew up with, and still suffer from severe depression, anxiety and childhood developed PTSD, but thank God am long and successfully medicated, but the strain is strong! My wife and I are both long time Primary educators, I am in my Eighteenth year in Special Education, and am the Special Needs, EAL, and GT coordinator at Emirates International School in Dubai. We just flew home yesterday to Charlotte for the start of our summer holiday! In short, I wear my heart and emotions on my sleeve, am open and honest with the right and trusted people about my long battle with bipolar2, and Show and feel no shame. It’s been a blessing as the beautiful kids I work with can intuit a member of the club a mile away. That engenders mutual trust and respect. Parents sense it too. I am so blessed to be able to empathize with them in a way that leaves no other way. It is simply who I am. It took a long time to accept it, but once I embraced it and saw the real life, living results, I have begun to love myself. My wife has struggled with similar struggles, but together we root eachother on, we are one another’s biggest fans. And we will fight for one another to the end. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep or the fact I just took a Xanax, or the start of the summer holiday, or that my beautiful wife is laying next to me, still asleep and breathing softly, but my heart just opened and tears of joy are welcome and so, so cleansing.

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      The Noble Renardcourt
      7/03/16 10:45am

      Never change.

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      courtThe Noble Renard
      7/03/16 11:01am

      Vice versa my friend.

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    ChrissMariCasey Near
    7/03/16 12:41pm

    I, too, ran away from my problems in my 20s, and I am now in my mid-late 30s and after years of outpatient therapy and 6 months continuous sobriety *finally* getting to what the hell my real problems are. It’s a shame I wasted my fucking life trying to find myself though and didn’t do real “boring” work earlier.

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      Ladyheatherlee 2016 EditionChrissMari
      7/03/16 1:04pm

      I did the same run away in my 20s and then assumed I was fine and it turns out I'm not fine but now I have a husband and a house and five pets and two children who depend on me. Wish I'd put the real work in too. :/

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      cisum88noteChrissMari
      7/03/16 1:16pm

      I put in a decade of “boring” work in my teens and 20s, trying to solve my anxiety and depression issues while tethered to the same small area I was born in, grew up in, and had lived in forever. I was told time and time again that it was my fault and that if I really wanted to get better I would “try” and be successful. Year after year after year I was blamed. You know what finally enabled me to overcome my anxieties and be successful? Getting the hell out into the wider world, meeting people with more diverse experiences and perspectives, including mental health professionals, who told me that the advice from the outpatient therapists and doctors in my rural region was shit and that I would have been so much better off if I had gotten out sooner.

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    Octopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.Casey Near
    7/03/16 11:48am

    Huh.

    Like, on one hand I am severely mentally ill and this makes me want to throw things at you because you can leave your house and get out of bed and HOW UNFAIR IS THAT. -insert foot stomping-

    On the other hand, everything is a spectrum and we all cope and grow in different ways and if you are finding those ways then I am very happy for you.

    But also, ugh.

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      SuckMyLeftWonOctopit didn't choose the burrito life, the burrito life chose octopit.
      7/03/16 12:12pm

      You and I are very alike, Octo :).

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    Marx and SparksCasey Near
    7/03/16 2:15pm

    I’m finding the comments here kind of fascinating—either people are pissed because this is yet another “I travelled to find myself” article or people are pissed that people are pissed that this is yet another “I travelled to find myself” article.

    I don’t have an issue with the content so much—nice gig if you can get it. If you’ve got the means, the flexibility, and yes the privilege to drop everything and travel around the world, that’s pretty great. What I do have an issue with (and am guessing this may be the basis of a lot of the critiques here) is that this is the only narrative we ever hear. A middle class, almost always white woman “finding herself” by traveling the world. And that is so, so far from the realities of most of us. So how does it help us through the drudgeries of our days? The anxiety of living paycheque to paycheque (if we’re lucky enough to have employment)? The compounding and intersecting marginalizations many of us experience? Lots of us are dealing with mental health stuff and grief and trying to balance the amount of vulnerability that supports our mental health while not inviting more shit into our lives, but no one is clamouring to read or print those stories.

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      Mrs. FingerbottomCasey Near
      7/03/16 12:10pm

      Can I ask how guest posts are selected on Jezebel? Because 9/10 times they just feel so out of touch with anything that goes on on here.

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        Marx and SparksMrs. Fingerbottom
        7/03/16 1:07pm

        I’m not convinced they’re not picked to be divisive and up the comments and clicks.

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        bitchofsmartnessMrs. Fingerbottom
        7/03/16 2:10pm

        Right there is why Flygirl, and many comments on Flygirl posts, made me grind my teeth.

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