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    VodkaRocks&aPieceofToastJoanna Rothkopf
    6/10/16 6:11pm

    OMG I thought you were just summarizing her response. But that is actually what she fucking wrote!!!!

    Also, curious to what you Jezzies think the letter writer should do?
    Should she tell the daughter? My gut is telling me no. My gut is often wrong.

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      I'm Fart and I'm SmunnyVodkaRocks&aPieceofToast
      6/10/16 6:14pm

      It’s really difficult to give advice on this without more information. Depending on the relationship she has with her sister, I would tell the sister and see what she wants to do.

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      deerlady83VodkaRocks&aPieceofToast
      6/10/16 6:16pm

      I’m not sure she should tell the daughter. I’m more inclined she should talk to her sister about it.

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    CJ4Joanna Rothkopf
    6/10/16 6:16pm

    Sweet Jesus - if not for the Pennsylvania, I was certain this letter was from my wife. The only difference is that her niece is only 19.

    My wife - then 20 - woke up to find her brother-in-law trying to put his fingers inside her. In a staggering display of bravery, she screamed at him, cornered him in the bedroom, and told him if he didn’t tell his wife - her sister - exactly what he had done after she left, she would call the police.

    He did. Unbelievably, they are still together. Even though I didn’t even meet my wife until 10 years later, I still want to beat the crap out of the B-i-L every time I see him at family functions. Moreover, I think my wife is a total badass.

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      deerlady83CJ4
      6/10/16 6:20pm

      I don't blame you.

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      VodkaRocks&aPieceofToastCJ4
      6/10/16 6:22pm

      Psychological torture, my friend. Give it a go :)

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    Mary, Queen of ScoffsJoanna Rothkopf
    6/10/16 6:20pm

    “if your brother-in-law was going to assault his daughter, it would have happened already”

    How does Dear Abby know is hasn’t happened already? Because . . . people always admit it in public when they assault their children? Because . . . victims are never ashamed and so they tell everybody when they are molested by their father?!? Because . . . Dear Abby is personally notified every time someone is raped, so she alone knows for sure when someone is raped and when they are not?

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      Nicole WattersonMary, Queen of Scoffs
      6/10/16 6:35pm

      If it has happened already, then the niece would not need to be told, hence Abby’s response. She doesn’t assume that it hasn’t happened.

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      Suck It, TrebekMary, Queen of Scoffs
      6/10/16 6:36pm

      My thought exactly...how do we know this hasn’t happened and the niece isn’t dying on the inside and thinks no one will believe her?

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    deerlady83Joanna Rothkopf
    6/10/16 6:08pm
    GIF

    She's not allowed to answer questions about rape anymore.

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      PumpkinSpiesdeerlady83
      6/10/16 7:27pm

      I followed the link underneath to the “you should get lipo” letter. She should never answer another letter again.

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      linda carterdeerlady83
      6/11/16 2:42am

      seems that lately all the rapists are viewed as victims - is this the 21st century? beejeesus

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    JujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes hereJoanna Rothkopf
    6/10/16 6:11pm

    That was such a timidly piss-poor response, she should call herself “Deer Caught in Headlights Abby”.

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      GELLA - LLAPJujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes here
      6/10/16 6:14pm

      Man I can’t digest it

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      AlannaofTrebondJujyMonkey: Clever tagline goes here
      6/10/16 6:26pm

      Except she can choose not to answer a question she doesn’t know how to answer. Advice columnists do this all the time, the entire point is to pick questions that are 1) compelling and/or relatable and 2) THAT YOU CAN ACTUALLY ANSWER. If you’re totally lost but feel you need to respond you can always say “You really need to see a therapist about this.” There are lots of options here, Abby, you really made the worst possible one.

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    CaliforlifeJoanna Rothkopf
    6/10/16 6:06pm

    Worst person of the week runner up. 1. Rapist Brock, 2. Judge, Tie 3. Dad, Fear Abby

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      OMG!PONIES!Califorlife
      6/10/16 6:13pm

      I think that you’re letting the DA off a little easy. The DA is the asshole who didn’t charge Turner with rape, thereby making Turner fall within the purview of California’s Three Strikes law.

      And his lame ass sentencing recommendation doesn't change the fact that he cut Turner a break at the outset.

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      CaliforlifeOMG!PONIES!
      6/10/16 6:17pm

      You are so right! And, his friends, including the band member, his HS counselor, and others who all wrote letters for him!

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    SqarrJoanna Rothkopf
    6/10/16 6:08pm

    Noooooooooooooooooooooo.

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      deerlady83Sqarr
      6/10/16 6:19pm

      Pretty much my reaction.

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      Sqarrdeerlady83
      6/10/16 6:31pm

      Also: Sigh.

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    DunlinJoanna Rothkopf
    6/10/16 6:08pm

    UUUGGHHHHHH

    Where’s that gif of the frowning man with all the middle fingers coming out? That.

    That’s terrible advice doubling down on victim shaming, plus a side helping of more shame.

    Tell the niece the story, absolutely. It’s incredibly important to know that acquaintances and relatives are not always safe, and that’s a story she damn well needs to know. I’m super torn on whether the niece needs to know it was her father, though. I think it would depend on the niece.

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      Lana BananaDunlin
      6/10/16 6:28pm

      If she doesn’t say it was the father, what is the point? “A man you know once assaulted your aunt.” ?

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      DunlinLana Banana
      6/10/16 6:40pm

      No. More like, “someone I knew well and trusted assaulted me.” That’s definitely the kind of story that resonated with me and I assume would resonate with the niece, even without the details.

      As others have pointed out, we’re not sure what the motivation of the aunt is. If it’s specifically to reveal the father, it’s more appropriate to talk to the wife first before talking to the daughter. If it’s to help the niece, then it has to be about the niece, not about the aunt.

      If the niece wants more information about who/what/when, then it might be worth explaining more at that point, but we don’t know the family dynamics and dropping that particular bombshell might do more harm to the niece than good.

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    ZabellaJoanna Rothkopf
    6/10/16 6:18pm

    Any chance Dear Abby writes dumb shit like this on purpose so the controversy reminds people her advice column (and newspapers) still exists?

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      CalypsoPoetZabella
      6/10/16 8:01pm

      I agree. That’s why I won’t click the link to the column.

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    32_FootstepsJoanna Rothkopf
    6/10/16 6:22pm

    Dear Abby, I’m looking for some whose blind ignorance won’t present incredibly destructive advice. To whom should I turn?

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      Anneke Oosterink32_Footsteps
      6/11/16 11:14am

      Literally anyone else. :P

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