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    Tart-isKelly Faircloth
    6/07/16 1:13pm

    One of my childhood friends went to boarding school with her and said she was “one of the dumbest people I’ve ever met in my life.” That’s all I ever think of when I see news about her. She seems like she’s grown to be more competent-ISH, but I tend to believe my friend.

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      NomNom83Tart-is
      6/07/16 1:24pm

      Really? No fan of her dad, but an MBA from Wharton demonstrates more ambition than most dumb rich kids have (Paris Hilton barely graduated HS, for example). Did your friend provide any specific examples?

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      Tart-isNomNom83
      6/07/16 1:30pm

      Just that she couldn’t coherently contribute to discussions and would always try to cheat off of everyone else, etc. Like I said, she seems more competent now. I don’t think she’s better than anyone else who was born on third base and think they hit a triple, but she seems to have gained the good grace to use her father as an example of how NOT to be.

      Also, it’s not unheard of to have “high class” degrees without the smarts to really back them up and I’d be more impressed with her if she didn’t work for her father exclusively.

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    spektraVDGKelly Faircloth
    6/07/16 1:16pm

    Is it just me, or is the term “Modern working woman,” dated as hell?

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      Angelica SchuylerspektraVDG
      6/07/16 1:19pm

      i’m a postmodern working woman

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      ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ : Riot GRRR is RUNNING WILDAngelica Schuyler
      6/07/16 1:23pm

      You should read my new book - Postmodern Working Woman: The Empowering Nature of Selling Your Body’s Excess Bioelectricity Back to the Grid

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    DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTinaKelly Faircloth
    6/07/16 1:54pm

    I wanna see a book like this from someone who knows what it’s like to have this morning:

    Wake up sweaty because the air conditioning failed during the night. Shower to wash off the sweat and find it impossible to get dry due to the intense humidity. Realize you only have 20 minutes to get to work ‘cause you hadn’t planned on showering that morning.

    Realize there’s a painful hair in one of your contacts, find it, wash the lens off, and put it back into your watering eye. Put on the dress you’d planned to wear only to find that you’re bloated that day and the waist is painfully tight. Dither for a moment (by this time you’re pretty flustered) about whether to suffer through it all day anyway or put on another. Put on another. Realize you need different shoes for this dress. Put on your different shoes and find that your foot is covered in cat sick. Wash foot, throw away shoes. Find yet another pair of shoes and realize you don’t have the dress that goes with them (it’s in the wash or at the cleaners). Scramble to find your fat pants and a blouse that might look okay with those.

    Feed the crying cat who just rubbed hair all over your pants, worrying that she might be ill and not just hairbally, and tearfully promising her you’ll take her to the vet when you get home if she needs to go but apologizing that right now you HAVE TO LEAVE. Pray that the subway air conditioning will be working so that you can stop sweating for just one goddamned minute and put a little mascara, face powder, and lipstick on your way to work. Also pray that the nice woman who always seems to have everything at the office has a lint roller she’ll lend you.

    Run to the subway, miss it, and continue sweating all over the filthy, smelly, hot, damp platform. Realize you are already twenty minutes late for work and you’re not even en route yet... and you need another shower already and you hate all your clothes and your face is all red and sticky and you just want to cry.

    And that’s without even having kids...

    I guarantee Ivanka Trump has never had this morning, not once in her life.

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      Nom de pixelDontBeSuchaBoobPunchTina
      6/07/16 2:07pm

      Don’t forget the boss who yells at you for being twenty minutes late even though you worked two hours late last night and usually get there early.

      P.S. I hope your kitty is OK.

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      DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTinaNom de pixel
      6/07/16 2:09pm

      Aw, thank you (as best I recall, it was indeed just hairballs). I haven’t had this morning in some years, myself, but you don’t forget... and yes the boss yelling is the icing on the cake! If it’s an extra-mean one, they’ll throw in a remark about how unprofessional you look, and you can’t explain because it’ll just sound like whining to someone who, like Ivanka, has never had this morning.

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    I'm Fart and I'm SmunnyKelly Faircloth
    6/07/16 1:27pm
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      randilynisFINDILYNI'm Fart and I'm Smunny
      6/07/16 1:28pm
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      DontBeSuchaBoobPunchTinaI'm Fart and I'm Smunny
      6/07/16 2:01pm

      This is freaking me out.

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    Snacktastic Part II: the Snack AwakensKelly Faircloth
    6/07/16 1:17pm

    Secret to success: Make sure dad is a barely sentient rightwing cheeto willing to give you a highly paid and visible job.

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      SheeshTheseNamesSnacktastic Part II: the Snack Awakens
      6/07/16 2:52pm

      Ding ding ding

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      rottenkitty1958Snacktastic Part II: the Snack Awakens
      6/07/16 3:11pm

      You win the Internet and now you’re also my spirit animal.

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    Iron Sausage EveningKelly Faircloth
    6/07/16 1:13pm

    500 Days?

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      Mental IcebergIron Sausage Evening
      6/07/16 1:23pm
      GIF
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      NomNom83Iron Sausage Evening
      6/07/16 1:27pm

      No.

      GIF
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    MisterMcGibbletsKelly Faircloth
    6/07/16 1:15pm
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      Stig-a-saw-us wrecks loves nuclear power.MisterMcGibblets
      6/07/16 1:24pm

      Trick question...they don’t work.

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      mostofyouarenotghostsMisterMcGibblets
      6/07/16 2:45pm
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    Masshole JamesKelly Faircloth
    6/07/16 1:20pm

    Pass. What I’m really waiting for is Ivanka’s book on how to have a healthy father-daughter relationship.

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      i care about your bonerMasshole James
      6/07/16 3:03pm

      Dumpster Donnie channeling creepy Uncle Biden *shudders*

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      JessaminaMasshole James
      6/07/16 6:26pm

      In all of these pictures her husband is awkwardly standing in the background.

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    SipowitzKelly Faircloth
    6/07/16 1:18pm

    Will the book cost $35,000?

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      GELLA - LLAPSipowitz
      6/07/16 1:41pm

      how many pages ?

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      SipowitzGELLA - LLAP
      6/07/16 1:45pm

      Loads of pages. The best pages. Pages full of women.

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    courtKelly Faircloth
    6/07/16 1:21pm

    This is basically the Conservative version of Goop, only without the articles explaining what a healthy poo should look like.

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      EmRycourt
      6/07/16 1:32pm

      My thoughts exactly.

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      GELLA - LLAPcourt
      6/07/16 1:40pm

      hey buddy, see my post above, we have same thoughts

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